I can’t believe it, but the Pope’s proclamation on the afterlife of animals has been verified independently. The answer was in fact provided by Hollywood 25 years before the Holy Church.
And to answer the questions raised by several readers:
a. Yes, bad and vicious dogs will go to heaven, so long as they accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior before they die.
b. Jewish dogs do not go to heaven; they fry.
c. The situation with whales and other marine animals is theologically complex, with its solution awaiting a decision about the presence of water in Heaven.
d. Dinosaurs, already with God, will not nom the cats and dogs. As they were before the Fall, all dinos become herbivores post mortem.
h/t: Barry
With regards to the unsolved point in ‘C’ –
Why can’t we just ask Eben Alexander or Todd Burpo? They should know from first hand experience.
I really am laughing out loud.
Hahaha! This is a perfect solution to the problem C
An answer regarding marine animals and the presence of water in heaven is quite simple. Please see the following scripture:
Revelation 21:1- “Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.”
Yes, but what about the fruit flies?
We already know that robots and computers go to Silicon Heaven, so this isn’t really a surprise.
But certainly not toasters!
I would say that might be a gray area. But anyway, definitely not egg timers.
Modern toaster are computers. So is “every” hotel door lock. Electricity meters (more and more). &c. &c. Heaven is clear full of modern gadgets.
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I am simply referring to the REAL silicone heaven. The last line is GREAT.
SiliCONE heaven, now, is being stuck opposite Brigitte Neilsen in a packed lift. 😉
On the subject of “gaaah”, “silicone” heaven is indeed about imitation mammalian protruberances (I was going to link to this lady, but I’m suddenly thinking that it may be a Joe’s Garage reference? Where are my CDs?). But the bent sand at the core of electronics is “silicon“.
Sorry, pet peeve.
And this is why toasters will NOT go to heaven.
Srsly, y’all need to catch up on yer Red Dwarf.
Yep, that was what immediately occurred to me when you mentioned toasters.
Still a lot less hellish than <a href="
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1e/Cylon_Centurion.png" this sort of toaster
Damn. HTML fail! I hate it when that happens!! WHY doesn’t WP have an edit or a sandbox??
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1e/Cylon_Centurion.png
Oh and it imbedded too! Gaah!
I would so dearly love the metal gent above to pay a social call on whoever programmed WordPress…
My cylons get drunk at their Xmas party each year. Yes, this is one of my cylons.
http://i1335.photobucket.com/albums/w666/ddmacpherson/CylonXmasParty_zpsfc3cbf97.jpg
This is really great news and we all know that a Hollywood movie has at least as much credibility as the Pope.
Transgenic organisms too?
Would cows want to see us again in heaven?
Well of course, we’d all be herbivores too.
Grass would be quite uneasy, however.
Problem solved: Soylent Green (3/day/∞)
Or does plankton (+ special, secret ingredient) get a spot in the Great Hereafter, too?
Always good to know. Ha ha!
What sort of heaven is that for the veggies? Is herbivore heaven the same place as vegetable hell?
And brachiosaurs in heaven…think of the poop. Won’t somebody please think of the poop!
That’s why heaven is above hell
Titanosaur poo must be good for the roses. Except if it lands in tonne-mass lumps.
This came out when I was 7 and I remember a rather frightening hell scene for the main dog and that he wasn’t necessarily going to go to heaven. Eternal torture for a dog was an interesting concept to have in a children’s movie.
I have the DVD, My wife refuses to watch it. We also haven’t watched Bambi.
Children’s movies cause me to revert to my childhood self, at least emotionally. For me, there is no such thing as watching a children’s movie as an adult.
I do recommend Bambi, watching it as an adult with a focus on the movie as a pinnacle of animation for its time. It was pretty stunning what they did with hand drawn animation at the time.
The death of the mother is intense, even for adults, but we can handle it.
Y’know, I’ve never seen Bambi. And surprisingly, I’ve never seen the death of the doe scene repeated on a TV compilation. I wonder why that is? “Intense” is normally good for a repeat.
The Lego movie is pretty good.
The LEGO Movie is one of the best Batman films…
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I don’t think I could bear to see Old Yeller again.
I saw it in grade 1 where it wasn’t a film but those stupid projected pictures with a corresponding tape that narrated the story & then at the beep, you changed the picture. I still remember Old Yellar with the growling face.
That was tame though compared to all the graphic images of Nazi concentration camps they showed us at Remembrance Day. I think in the 70s, they were just trying to give a whole generation PTSD. 😀
Our “Film Studies” teacher had a showing of “Triumph of the Will” back in the late 1970s – back when you had to get police permission to hold a showing. That was pretty intense – a very effective piece of propaganda.
That is indeed bizarre.
Now that you mention it, I seem to remember that quite a few early animations touched on what would be considered iffy material today. (Well, until the advent of “adult cartoons,” of course.) Everything gets dumbed down.
It too sits on our shelf. I thought it a strange movie with a mixture of kid appeal plus themes that were too intense for younger kids. A bit unbalanced, really.
I took my kids to this when it came out. Very greyish colors and boring animation, iirc.
That moment you reflect on the pope saying your dead dog will be with you in heaven, and you realize that is not remotely the most asinine thing he believes.
We can see from Dilbert that cats come from the other place and are quite comfortable in their world.
Religion is such a peculiar thing; people make shit up and then spend most of their lives making up excuses about why their bullshit is right despite the facts.
Don Bluth was a Mormon. Are we sure we can trust his film? 🙂
Surely nobody is going to nom anybody else and vegetarianism is beside the point, because as pure spirits, the beings in heaven will have no bodily functions. (Poop problem also solved.) The cows can relax.
Yeah, I guess it will be like when Buffy the Vampire Slayer went to heaven.
My kids had a video of this when it came out and in my opinion it is a vile piece. The problem had to do with themes — and I once had it running over and over in the background and should remember specifics but it’s been many years.
As I recall the main story in All Dogs Go to Heaven involved an abusive relationship between a sweet little girl who loved and desperately wanted to please the dog — and a dog who was a cold, selfish, manipulating son-of-a-bitch who only at the very end had a change of heart and decided that the girl was more than something to exploit. It’s a sort of animated re-make of “Little Miss Marker.
It’s also a wonderful set-up for instilling the belief in children that sociopaths will eventually change if you simply persist and are helpless enough. I think I gave impassioned lectures to both my son and daughter on the topic and eventually threw the damn film out. It’s much worse than Beauty and the Beast.
What was wrong with Beauty and the Beast?
Oh, I enjoyed Disney’s Beauty and the Beast as a movie. The story itself though has some thematic overtones which a modern audience can find troubling: a man with a vicious reputation treats a woman cruelly — but she eventually “tames” him with her love.
It works as a fairy tale, sure. Fine film. And on a modest level we can find useful analogies. But in real life it’s usually not a good idea to find a “beast” and become enamored by the role of The Only Person Who Loves Them in hopes that this will effect a magical change in their personality. It seldom works and it’s easy to get trapped by the idea that you just need to persist.
A steady diet of this message isn’t healthy for kids. Iirc there was some criticism of the movie at the time.
That’s why I used to say that to make the supposed lesson of the film justified, Beast should not have been cursed, simply be the way he (particularly appearancewise) is naturally.
Just wanted to make sure the Church Sign debate on this topic made it into this thread, too:
http://mlkshk.com/r/11TY0
(Made with a sign generator, alas, and not by churches with a sense of humor.)
What do you mean “there are no rocks in heaven”!!!??? I want to take my pet rocks to heaven with me. Including my psychoanalytic rock! So there!
Perhaps there is a somewhat non-canonical gospel with an often overlooked verse that goes (in translation) “Love God and love one another. Love your neighbour as yourself. If applicable, wag your tail a lot and bark at strangers.”
Cats reincarnate. Fact.
Not 9 times though – that’s just a myth.
Surely cats still go to the Egyptian afterlife. Which is the bast place for them.
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[Gets coat ; goes for door.]
Thank you for noticing…
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Tut, tut.
In ancient times, cats were worshiped as gods. They have never forgotten this- Terry Pratchett
For another point of view, see Norman Corwin’s book Dog In The Sky (Simon & Schuster, 1952) which introduces the concept of curgatory, where questionable dogs go after death.
But what about the gay penguins?
What about the penguins who prostitute themselves for a pile of rocks?
Has the situation about viruses and bacteria been resolved? Will they also be in heaven?
If all d*gs go to Heaven, wouldn’t the cats go someplace else?
Of course, instead of going to either one, you could instead think up Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead.
That was the first thing that popped into my head when I read the other post. I saw that as a child and it’s a really good movie. It doesn’t shy away from taking a darker tone than most other kid’s movies and is far more mature than modern kid’s movies. Actually when I look back at some of the movies that used to be made for kid’s they are far more honest about life than what kids see now.
What about pet snakes? Do pet snakes go to Heaven?
And just how do pets go to Heaven since they don’t have souls? Or does associating with a human somehow imbue them with a soul?
So many questions.
i will answer those questions. first regarding pet snakes, some will and some wont go to heaven (i keep all my pets outside, ranging from grizzly bears to rattlesnakes); one 6 foot long black snake i caught (it was actually 2 feet longer than i was tall at the time i kept inside but it got out and freaked some lady out walking down the street—i hear my baby sitter killed it because they were scared of it (this makes me sad actually though one time i saw an even bigger black snake whiich happened to live in the ceiling in another cabin going over an early snow to get to a warm place—i never knew they could go over snow since they are ‘cold blooded’ but it made it (went down the well for hibernation); one small snake i caught but didnt bring in—i showed my parents a poisonous snake which i wasnt scared of until it bit me so i threw it and had to go to the hospital so that one is not going to heaven; one big rattlesnake people thought they had killed but they had just pinned it down under a rock—i caught it in a bag and took it up the mountain to let it go (i also did eat a rattlesnake once since this was local food).
the main thing people need to know is if you are coming to heaven you have to pay rent—i am the land lord. angels are included in the rent. (you have to be a group selectionist to get into heaven, also, because its a collective state (more is different—p w anderson Science Mag around 1972.) i remember when john wheeler (it for bit, feynman’s mentor, bomb supporter) spoke in my area—i wrote an article for the WaPo (local paper) cuz another pope was in town (i said for physicists, this is one of our popes). of curse they rejected my newstory. WaPo i think was bought by jeff bezos, a member of one of the amazonian tribes like the yananomo or piraha of facebook —he’s a man of wealth and fame’ (sympathy for the devil, old song)