Self-care for men?

Have a look at this “self-care” list in HuffPo, and note that the concept of “self-care” is completely alien to men—at least of my generation, which, admittedly, is not the group at whom this post is aimed. Click on the screenshot. The Horror! The Horror!

A quote from the piece:

Whether the guy you’re gifting is stylish like Zac Efron, athletic like Stephen Curry or beloved like Jonathan Van Ness, this guide to self-care gifts for men will tick off everything on his wish list and more. From tools that will revamp his morning routine to new clothes that will refresh his wardrobe, these gifts are sure to please every kind of guy.

I must not be any of those kinds of guy. Here are a few of the gifts, which seem to me to be what women think a man should want:

Meditation journal? The point of meditating is to let your thoughts run free, but here your paramour thinks you would love to write them down. No way!

In my view, real men don’t wear slippers. But even if they do, these are about as sophisticated as Archie Bunker (and they’re not joking with that adjective!). Really, SLIPPERS? Are we Nick and Nora Charles?

With the gift below we’re in definite female territory. I don’t know many men who would say, “Moisturizer?? Oh, honey, how thoughtful of you.” (Grania tells me that all the cool and depilated boy kids now use moisturizer. I do use CVS hand cream when my skin gets dry in the winter, but not this expensive stuff.)

No, #NotAllMen want snuggly blankets. And note who’s demonstrating it!

Mushroom tea? What were they thinking? Whatever they say, this isn’t coffee.

Why not yoga classes instead?

Here’s the ultimate unwanted present. I have known many women who lit candles when I was with them, but never a man. Not one. Even if it just smelled like wax.

After looking through the gifts that every man would like, and not finding one that I liked, I suspected that the piece was written by a woman. Sure enough, when I checked I found I guessed correctly.

Here’s some of my “self-care” list:

A bottle of Cornas from a good year
A pound of See’s chocolates
A biography of Churchill
A friendly female mallard
A nice pint of Timothy Taylor’s Landlord (now available in the U.S. in bottles)
A Bengal cat
A Cohiba Lancero rolled before 2002 (the last good year for Cuban cigars)

191 Comments

  1. Ken Kukec
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:36 pm | Permalink

    “Whether the guy you’re gifting …”

    “Gift” as a verb still grates.

    • Adam M.
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:01 pm | Permalink

      I think it’s acceptable there if the guy is the gift. 😛

      • Ken Kukec
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:15 pm | Permalink

        Yeah, I think this is the first time I’ve seen “gift” used intransitively.

        • Nicolaas Stempels
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:24 pm | Permalink

          It somehow appears a poisonous present 😁

  2. Serendipitydawg
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:40 pm | Permalink

    I used to walk around barefoot but I tend to wear soft shoes these days- cats can play with the most amazing things and it really hurts when you tread on something hard with your full weight.

    Those sophisticated&tm; slippers are pretty much the same as the pair my wife bought for me at some cheapo supermarket because I tend to wear them until they fall apart. I believe they were less than a fiver… I haven’t taken the hint, the current pair are hanging in there, albeit looking somewhat disreputable.

    • Mark Sturtevant
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:35 pm | Permalink

      Same here. Mine have a fleece lining and I am wearing them now.
      Manfully, of course, with a bottle of microbrew, a flannel shirt, and WEIT on the ‘ol laptop.

  3. Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:40 pm | Permalink

    Hear, hear. But remember it’s the thought that counts, even if the gift ends up in the trash.

    • yazikus
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:57 pm | Permalink

      I will sneakily give gifts I don’t like to people who I think might. Someone ought to enjoy it, no?

      • Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:08 pm | Permalink

        Hah, that’s the way. My friends and I shopped garage sales for gifts and reused cards with edited, by hand, messages. Like Happy Christmas. Merry Birthday.

        My favorite gift was a hunk of glass that somehow had a hole and was made into a necklace with string.

  4. Ken Kukec
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:42 pm | Permalink

    I must not be any of those kinds of guy.

    I’m still getting used to the idea of “manscaping” (though I bought a trimmer now and do it, barely) — or that guys have any need of “product.”

  5. Michael Fisher
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

    “Self care” – that’s a euphemism that doesn’t need explaining

  6. Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

    Another self-care list:

    Scotch, preferably Islay
    Any stringed instrument
    Pair of walking shoes
    And a cat

    (Candles are for people who do not know what asthma is)

    • rickflick
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

      Nice list.

    • Mark R.
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:30 pm | Permalink

      Alas, there are so many things for people who do not know what asthma is. Thank Ceiling Cat for Advair.

    • GBJames
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:26 pm | Permalink

      Good list although I have no use for a stringed instrument. Or the cat. But I’ll walk with you and join you in a dram.

      • infiniteimprobabilit
        Posted December 11, 2018 at 1:32 am | Permalink

        “I have no use for a stringed instrument. Or the cat.”

        They would have in the middle ages. Though the cat would not have enjoyed the experience…

        cr

        • Serendipitydawg
          Posted December 11, 2018 at 5:16 am | Permalink

          Vile rumour created by the makers of instrument strings to protect their trade secrets. Sheep would have something to be concerned about but the cat could enjoy the soothing sounds.

          Cats are always useful, if only to remind you of your place in the universe.

          • infiniteimprobabilit
            Posted December 11, 2018 at 6:12 am | Permalink

            I’m very pleased to hear that. Best use for a sheep.

            cr

  7. Ken Kukec
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:48 pm | Permalink

    Someone Who Isn’t Me drank mushroom tea once — SWIM was high on psilocybin most of the next day.

    • Mark R.
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:34 pm | Permalink

      Yeah…that works but tastes disgusting. “We” used to blend them with concentrated OJ and a smidgen of water. This treatment overwhelmed the dirty taste and plus Vit C was said to enhance the trip…as if a mushroom trip needs enhancing…

      • Ken Kukec
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:18 pm | Permalink

        Yeah, “they” used to say the same thing about OJ and LSD — “that’s why they call it ‘acid,’ man.”

        • Mark R.
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:37 pm | Permalink

          Ha! Haven’t heard that one. Man, “they” were nuts! 🙂

  8. Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:51 pm | Permalink

    Houseshoes, yes. They sell slippers so some men must wear them.

    Moisturizer, yes. I use cream for contact dermatitis I get from time to time. And dry skin in the winter.

    Book to write down thoughts. I got one as a gift one year. Still have it somewhere. Pages are still blank.

  9. Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:51 pm | Permalink

    I don’t visit malware distribution sites like Huffington Post. The content is just bait.

  10. Roo
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:52 pm | Permalink

    I think this is more “gifts that women want to have fun shopping for on Etsy and pretending their guy will love, when in fact he wanted beer and Xbox games”, lol.

    I will say, my secret Santa at work the last two years have been male, and since each gift has to be under $10 or so, that is actually fun, trying to roll a person’s interests into a really small gift. Like one loved octopuses and beer so I got him a beer candle and octopus mug; one loved video games and beer (wait, I sense a theme…) so I got him beer gummies and a mini Pac Man game. They were SUPER gross but it was still a lot of fun.

    I hope you get your duck toilet paper holder for the holidays this year, btw!

    • Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:00 pm | Permalink

      I already have the duck tp holder (I posted a photo of it). Rollo the Duck now reposes in my bathroom.

      • Roo
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:53 pm | Permalink

        Sweet!!

  11. Posted December 10, 2018 at 3:57 pm | Permalink

    I’d rather receive a gift certificate or, even better, cash than any of this drek.

    • Mark R.
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:37 pm | Permalink

      Cash is the best gift hands down!

      While growing up, I could ask for a $100 gift and get it, but if I asked for $100 cash, I was refused. Never made sense to me.

      • Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:55 pm | Permalink

        It seems they think choosing where you buy the gift shows their thoughtfulness. Cash is way more thoughtful, IMHO!

        • Mark R.
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

          Yes, cash is the most thoughtful dammit!

          To be fair, during the time frame referred to, I think the folks knew I would spend it all on candy, junk food, movies and video games. LOL!

  12. rickflick
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:05 pm | Permalink

    I’d go for a good quality table saw…or a bandsaw. Or maybe both.

    • Randall Schenck
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:37 pm | Permalink

      Whoa – you must have a rich Santa, quality table saw, maybe 6 to 8 hundred or more.

      I do not wear slippers either – just short socks. My barber just retired so I got him a gift card for the fancier shopping area nearby. That way he can do what he wants.

      • infiniteimprobabilit
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:31 pm | Permalink

        Ooh, since we’re up in the rich list bracket – a TIG/MIG welder. Just a small one for delicate jobs that the arc welder would blow to pieces.

        cr

        • Randall Schenck
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:52 pm | Permalink

          Sounds like maybe you need a shop…

  13. James
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:06 pm | Permalink

    I wear slippers pretty regularly. The kids have Legos and I scrub the floors; barefoot isn’t ideal, and tracking mud into the house is a pain to deal with. Better to put on some slippers than spend an hour cursing myself when I could be spending that hour reading or playing with my kids.

    I also keep a journal. Helps to have somewhere to put my thoughts so they aren’t running around in my head, and to see what my younger self was like. It’s a good place to put those things that keep you up at night, or ideas you want to play with later. Got a few research projects sketched out in it, for example.

    I don’t feel that it affects my masculinity all that much. Nor does crocheting my daughter a shawl, or scarfs for myself and my sons (look up the history of that art sometime–I’m not sure I’m manly enough to take up crochet!). I’m a field geologist; I’ve proven myself to the point where I don’t need worry about it.

    Self-care for me is pretty simple: Give me a day to do what I want. That may be sitting in my chair reading. It may be felling trees. It may be building a suit of armor. I’ve done all three. The important thing is that it’s something *I* choose to do.

  14. Steve Pollard
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:10 pm | Permalink

    My slippers are already a lot warmer than those thin moccasins look.

    Wouldn’t mind a nice ball-roller though.

  15. JD Anderson
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:17 pm | Permalink

    I’ll take the BroteinBox… I guess. That’s kind of like taking someone out to dinner and making them get a garden salad for health reasons, though. Plus, many times of protein bars taste lake garbage, so I’d rather buy my own.

    That said, I’d much rather have Jerry’s pound of See’s chocolate (or a 3 lb tin of holiday cookies from Costco and leave his chocolate in peace).

  16. Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    Reminds me of the subscription service one can join to have a present sent to you each month. Must be a different generation!

  17. scruffycookie
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:28 pm | Permalink

    I’m not a guy and I can’t imagine wanting any of those things. Except maybe a blanket for my d*gs.

    • Diane G
      Posted December 11, 2018 at 12:15 am | Permalink

      Ditto.

  18. Merilee
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:43 pm | Permalink

    “self-care gifts for guys they really want”??
    Can anyone parse that sentence/phrase?? Who’s the “they” who wants the guys?
    Aside from the terrible diction, the slippers, while not exactly sophisticated, are the LLBean-type known and loved (or at least happily worn) by the men in my family.
    As for the rest of the stuff…Phooey. Jerry, I’m not surprised that you haven’t had candles lit for you by any of your male friends, considering that you’re heterosexual. I have had boyfriends light candles for me, and have enjoyed the experience as long as they (the candles) weren’t scented.

    • Adam M.
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:31 pm | Permalink

      I believe it, but I’d bet those guys bought the candles so they could light them for girls, not for themselves. 🙂

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:51 pm | Permalink

      I thought all men went over to their friends’ houses, lit candles and brushed each other’s hair.

      • rickflick
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:14 pm | Permalink

        I think that’s a capital crime in some countries.

        • Diana MacPherson
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:53 pm | Permalink

          Real men don’t care about capital crimes.

          • rickflick
            Posted December 10, 2018 at 10:23 pm | Permalink

            True, but men seldom care about their hair either. It’s really about the conversation.
            “Get the transmission fixed yet?”
            “No, gettin’ the gun ready for duck season.”
            “Grunt.”

            • Diane G
              Posted December 11, 2018 at 12:16 am | Permalink

              😀

  19. dogugotw
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:45 pm | Permalink

    I spent nearly 2 decades in central NH in a house with really crappy heat. I wore slippers, specifically Steeger moosehide moccasins (https://www.mukluks.com/Scout-Chestnut/productinfo/SCNUTM/). They’re pricey but the workmanship is top rate and they’re as comfortable as you could ask for. I also had a pair of mukluks…just amazing for very cold days out in the snow.

  20. Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:51 pm | Permalink

    Ha ha. I asked for some new power tools and a wrench bag.

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:58 pm | Permalink

      I could live with that! 😎

      cr

    • yazikus
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:55 pm | Permalink

      I don’t trust gift-givers to get me the tools I would want. That is serious business! A wrench bag, however, is a good idea.

      • Ken Kukec
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:20 pm | Permalink

        Jeez, where’s Tim Allen when you need him?

      • Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:39 pm | Permalink

        I was very explicit. Milwaukee’s new 18v line to augment my venerable drill/driver & Sawzall.

        The wrench bag (a roll, really) will be an improvement over the feed bucket.

        • yazikus
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

          The only way to go. Plus, you can now use the feed bucket for your self-care crafting. A centerpiece, mayhap?

          Horses fare well during the fires?

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:52 pm | Permalink

      Wrench bag sounds like what you call an unattractive woman.

      • infiniteimprobabilit
        Posted December 11, 2018 at 1:26 am | Permalink

        It’s just as well it was Diana made that joke. I dread to think of the consequences if a guy had said it. 😎

        cr

        • Diana MacPherson
          Posted December 11, 2018 at 6:28 am | Permalink

          I figure it’s the land equivalent of “sea hag”

          • E.A. Blair
            Posted December 11, 2018 at 11:36 am | Permalink

            Shouldn’t that be “wench bag”?

      • Posted December 11, 2018 at 10:24 am | Permalink

        I’m glad you went there, not I.

        • Diana MacPherson
          Posted December 11, 2018 at 5:18 pm | Permalink

          Well you should be able to go there. It’s one thing to remark that something sounds like a derogatory commentary on a woman’s appearance (and amusingly so) and quite another to disparage a woman for her looks.

  21. E.A. Blair
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 4:52 pm | Permalink

    Slippers became a necessity when I adopted Isa. She’s half Maine Coon, and it only takes once to step on a fresh hairball in bare feet on a night trip to the bathroom to convince anyone that they are a good idea.

    As for the other stuff on that list, most are useless to me. I like the feel of the weight of a good blanket on me at night, but I have a comforter that’s been doing that for me for years. The massage is great, but I don’t need PuffHo to tell me where to get one. I like the idea of a hoodie with no logos, but I’m not going to pay Lululemon for the privilege.

    • Merilee
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:26 pm | Permalink

      By hairball I assume you mean barfed-up ones ala Bill the Cat?

      • E.A. Blair
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 11:53 pm | Permalink

        Of course. One of the worst things to disturb my sleep is the sound of Isa urping up a hairball somewhere in the dark while I’m lying in bed. I know it’s out there, but I don’t know where it is.

        • Merilee
          Posted December 11, 2018 at 12:18 am | Permalink

          😿
          Not pleasant on the rug under the bed, either (or during dinner when non-cat-loving guests are over.)

  22. GBJames
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:11 pm | Permalink

    I wear slippers out of self protection, not self-care. My wife gives me endless grief for wearing my shoes around the house. Something about tracking mud and gravel in. I can’t quite understand the problem but rather then get yelled at all the time I will wear slippers sometimes to keep my feet warm while walking around the house in peace.

  23. Linda Calhoun
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:17 pm | Permalink

    Everybody, male and female, on my list gets cookies and fudge. Homemade, all of it.

    L

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:20 pm | Permalink

      Now *that* is far more practical.

      cr

    • Adam M.
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:48 pm | Permalink

      Yes, the secret to gift-giving is to give something tasty. Everyone loves food!

  24. infiniteimprobabilit
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:19 pm | Permalink

    Not *one* thing on that list!

    Hygiene kit? If I stink I’ll take a shower. At least once a month.

    Meditation journal? Nah, what’s the comments section of WEIT for?

    Fancy coffee? Nah, I do instant. Fancy coffee is for quiche eaters and Tw*tter followers.

    Slippers? What for? We’ve got carpets. I can’t imagine any young guy wanting slippers, old men wear them. (Except me).

    Healthy snacks? Are those things actually edible?

    SPF20 moisturiser? Hardly. If it’s less than SPF50 it’s no use to me.

    Massage ball roller? If you see me rolling about on the floor it’s time to call the paramedics.

    Mushroom coffee? I just cannot believe how incomplete my life has been up till now without this essential product. (That was sarcasm).

    A weighted blanket? In case I regress to my childhood? Besides, I prefer a warm chick. (In my dreams…)

    A massage? I could have that from my wife, any time. But she’s very, very energetic, I usually run a mile.

    A trendy pillow? We have plenty of pillows, I can’t for the life of me figure if they’re trendy or not, or how you tell the difference.

    A candle? I’ve got a perfectly good LED torch. Several.

    Pullover with no logo? I *like* the no-logo bit, muchly. But I don’t do pullovers, I have several jackets.

    A box full of even more sorts of goop. What for?

    Yet another massage thing. Wtf??

    I’d hardly call any of those ‘self-care’. For me, self-care consists of trying not to eat anything poisonous, step on sharp objects, and walk into things.

    I can’t imagine ‘really wanting’ one thing on that list. Maybe I’m not a guy.

    cr

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:27 pm | Permalink

      What would be on my list (if I didn’t have it already):
      A good torque wrench
      A full set of Torx sockets, male and female, up to a decent size like T60 and E24
      (that could be two separate gifts)
      Or I could always use spare underpants.

      cr

      • Posted December 13, 2018 at 11:33 am | Permalink

        A full set of Torx sockets, male and female,

        I don’t think you’re allowed to use these terms in this context any more 🙂

        • Diana MacPherson
          Posted December 13, 2018 at 11:43 am | Permalink

          I prefer to call them gentleman and lady sockets.

          • rickflick
            Posted December 13, 2018 at 6:51 pm | Permalink

            I’ve heard that quite a bit down on the shop floor. Even at Bud’s Saloon where the truckers hang out.

          • Diane G
            Posted December 13, 2018 at 10:53 pm | Permalink

            More like gentlemen plugs, no?

      • Posted December 13, 2018 at 1:38 pm | Permalink

        You can give your significant other a stud finder. 🙂

  25. CAS
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:33 pm | Permalink

    My version of “self-care”: I find a pair of pants I like that is comfortable and sturdy (not easy), so I buy 5 pairs with the same color. Changing into a fresh pair each day makes me feel stylish!

    • Mark R.
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:50 pm | Permalink

      My new favorite pant are from a company out of Jackson Hole, Wyoming: Mountain Khakis.

      Here’s a link to their pants:
      https://www.mountainkhakis.com/shop/mens/pants/khakis

      I like their “Teton twill” (really sturdy) and “mountain pant” (a lighter fabric). They are very comfortable, and their attention to detail is incredible: reinforced heel cuffs, triple-sewn seems, “action gusset” for easy movement, reinforced fly, bar-tacs galore. I usually don’t get excited over pants, but these are special. I wear a 34″ jean/chino, but I need a 36″ in these for some reason…

  26. BJ
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:52 pm | Permalink

    When I need to do some self-care, I just go to x-tube. The bottle of moisturizer would, admittedly, be useful in this case.

    • yazikus
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:53 pm | Permalink

      +1

    • Ken Kukec
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:24 pm | Permalink

      Let’s all pitch in and get BJ a “fleshlight” for Xmas. (A friend told me.)

      • Ken Kukec
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 7:22 pm | Permalink

        Now, if you get one in your Xmas stocking, BJ, I guess you’ll know who your “Secret Santa” is. 🙂

        • BJ
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:43 pm | Permalink

          You just missed the last night of Hanukkah, but I’ll hang a stocking come Christmas eve just in case…

      • Diana MacPherson
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:56 pm | Permalink

        OMG I had to look that up.

        • infiniteimprobabilit
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 11:27 pm | Permalink

          And now you wish you hadn’t.

          😎

        • Merilee
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 11:40 pm | Permalink

          Me, too🙀

        • Posted December 13, 2018 at 11:36 am | Permalink

          Me too, and now I have to delete my search history.

          • Diana MacPherson
            Posted December 13, 2018 at 11:44 am | Permalink

            Yes, GBJames put a link that was naughty the other day and I clicked on it at work so had to delete my browser history for the past hour. 🙂

            • Merilee
              Posted December 13, 2018 at 11:50 am | Permalink

              Ach, that GBJames🙀

            • GBJames
              Posted December 13, 2018 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

              I did? Me? It was my doppelgänger!

              • Diana MacPherson
                Posted December 13, 2018 at 12:58 pm | Permalink

                Yes the doppelgänger BJGames.

              • infiniteimprobabilit
                Posted December 13, 2018 at 4:06 pm | Permalink

                OMG Diana, where do you spend your time on the Net? 😎

                cr

    • Mark R.
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:48 pm | Permalink

      I admit, when I first read “self-care” that’s exactly where my mind went too…with an inly snicker. Nice touch with the lube reference though…made for the perfect joke.

      • BJ
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:45 pm | Permalink

        Honestly, I had to make sure nobody else got to that joke first. I’m surprised it took 26 top-level comments to get there, especially after Ken had already posted 🙂

        • Adam M.
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:39 pm | Permalink

          I thought Michael Fisher got in first with #5. 🙂

        • Ken Kukec
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:42 pm | Permalink

          The thought crossed my mind when I read that header, BJ, believe me. 🙂

    • Posted December 10, 2018 at 7:04 pm | Permalink

      HEY! This is a family friendly site. Knock off the smut!

      • Ken Kukec
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 7:44 pm | Permalink

        Christ, boss, in my clan, off-color humor is considered the sine qua non of “family values.”

        • Diana MacPherson
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:58 pm | Permalink

          You talking smut sass talk with that Latin?

          • BJ
            Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:40 pm | Permalink

            What about you? Do you find it…wisible…when I same the name Biggus. Dickus?

            • Diana MacPherson
              Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

              He has a wife, you know?

              • Merilee
                Posted December 10, 2018 at 11:45 pm | Permalink

                Incontinentia Something-or-other…

      • BJ
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:40 pm | Permalink

        Love ya, Jerry 🙂

  27. yazikus
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 5:53 pm | Permalink

    I don’t know how manly it is to jump on the slipper bandwagon, but as a forest dweller with woodstove heat and tile floors – slippers are a must.

    I’m also a fan of quality socks and would be happy if every gift-giving day included a pair.

    I’m just not much of a materialistic person, so when asked to think of a gift I usually falter. Something I already need? But that isn’t fun. Something wacky? I just won’t use it. I did get gifted a ‘spice of the month’ club membership once. It was surprisingly fun.

    • BJ
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:47 pm | Permalink

      I’ve been wearing sheepskin slippers around the house for years. Comfort is king.

      • Diana MacPherson
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:59 pm | Permalink

        I have messed up feet so it physically hurts not to wear orthotics. The kind of hurt that makes my feet and ankles swell. So, I wear shearling lined clogs with the orthotics in them. They have a supportive sole so I can go outside in the snow if I have to as well.

        • rickflick
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

          I’ll have to resort to a pirate’s peg leg soon. I wonder if they have a snow shoe attachment?

    • Mark Sturtevant
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:44 pm | Permalink

      Gift cards from Amazon. I make that very clear.
      But I am coming due for another pair of slippers.

  28. revelator60
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 6:10 pm | Permalink

    There were only three items on the list that looked attractive to me: the slippers (though I’m not sure what makes them sophisticated), the practical pillow, and the “pullover that doesn’t have a college or company logo on it.”

    Slippers are a must-have in my carpetless hardwood floor apartment. Visitors do not take off their shoes in common areas, so slippers are the most hygienic choice for residents.

  29. pck
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 7:06 pm | Permalink

    I don’t think anyone should be an authority on what ‘real men’ should wear or not. That being said all I personally feel most of the non-edible/drinkable gifts are lame as hell.

    This article seems to be more of a nudge/hint/wink that women want more well groomed, sensitive men.

    • James
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:57 pm | Permalink

      “I don’t think anyone should be an authority on what ‘real men’ should wear or not.”

      I go a step further: A real man doesn’t ask what it takes to be a real man. The best examples of “real men” I know–either in person or via history/biographies–have been the ones who simply ignored the whole concept of “manliness” and lived their lives. If they wanted to drink tea, they did so; if they needed to sew up their own leg so they wouldn’t bleed out, they did that too. It was their life, and they weren’t going to let anyone tell them how to live it.

      • Diana MacPherson
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:01 pm | Permalink

        Now I’m imagining Rambo sewing up his wound and pausing every now & then to take a sip of tea.

        • rickflick
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:33 pm | Permalink

          Scene 31: Rambo plants needle(temporarily) in kneecap and lifts porcelain cup to parched lips…
          Rambo(softly): “Those months in nursing school came in handy.”

          Sighs thoughtfully, puts down cup and picks up tissue forceps and needle driver, and resumes stitching toward the groin.

          • Diana MacPherson
            Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:55 pm | Permalink

            Exactly as I imagined it. The porcelain tea cup and saucer with dainty pink flowers and Rambo’s pinky slightly raised as he carefully pinches the team cup’s handle with his large, bloody fingers.

            • rickflick
              Posted December 10, 2018 at 10:25 pm | Permalink

              Make up! Make up!
              More blood please.

      • rickflick
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:19 pm | Permalink

        “if they needed to sew up their own leg”
        Sewing flesh – definitely a masculine move.

        • infiniteimprobabilit
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 11:30 pm | Permalink

          Ouch! The thought makes me cringe. Wouldn’t a staple gun work instead?

          cr

          • James
            Posted December 11, 2018 at 7:52 am | Permalink

            Superglue. Gotta get the right kind, because some can be toxic, but if you get rid of all the toxic ones in the house you don’t have to think about it, you can just grab the nearest bottle (in the kitchen in my family, for some reason) and fix yourself up.

            My family also keeps a few boxes of butterfly bandages around. If you don’t have superglue butterflies and gauze work better than stitches. I’ve run the study a number of times (unintentionally), and the evidence is quite striking. I barely have a scar from where I nearly severed the flesh from the palm side of my finger, for example; that wound was repaired with butterflies and gauze. My chin, in contrast, was a wound of similar depth, was repaired with stitches, and has left a scar that’s still prominent enough (after 30 years) to serve as a landmark–I stop shaving there and can pass the OSHA full-face respirator fit test.

            Never could do the “sew myself up” thing, but mostly that’s because I suck at sewing to begin with. Either the thread slips out of the needle or it slips through the material I’m sewing through.

          • rickflick
            Posted December 11, 2018 at 7:10 pm | Permalink

            A plastic surgeon who did some work on my ankle(car accident) told me he lanced and stitched up a boil on his own buttskie.

            • Merilee
              Posted December 11, 2018 at 7:29 pm | Permalink

              He must be very limber!

              • rickflick
                Posted December 11, 2018 at 7:50 pm | Permalink

                I tried to picture it. Yes, that’s the only way it would have worked.

              • Merilee
                Posted December 11, 2018 at 8:20 pm | Permalink

                And there must have been a mirror involved.

              • Diana MacPherson
                Posted December 11, 2018 at 9:33 pm | Permalink

                Depends just how flexible he is.

              • Diana MacPherson
                Posted December 11, 2018 at 8:09 pm | Permalink

                And have a steady hand.

              • rickflick
                Posted December 11, 2018 at 9:37 pm | Permalink

                I don’t remember now for sure, but I think he said he didn’t use a local anesthetic. Some days later he showed up doing rounds in a formal jacket. He said he was off to NYC to take in an opera. I wished him well and attended to healing from the surgery.

              • Michael Fisher
                Posted December 11, 2018 at 9:51 pm | Permalink

                Opera: The Ring Cycle or Madame Butterfly do ya think?

              • rickflick
                Posted December 11, 2018 at 9:46 pm | Permalink

                I don’t remember him mentioning a mirror, but it seems likely. This was back in the late 60s. My principle ankle surgeon, an orthopedist, visited my bed late one night smoking a cigarette(remember those?). That’s how long ago it was.

            • Diane G
              Posted December 12, 2018 at 11:03 pm | Permalink

              I remember reading a story about an Antarctic-stationed doctor had to perform his/her surgery by herself because no planes could get in till the right season (summer, I assume). Actually, there may be more than one story like that? Too lazy to even Google, now.

              • Diane G
                Posted December 12, 2018 at 11:04 pm | Permalink

                “…doctor who had to…

              • rickflick
                Posted December 13, 2018 at 11:50 am | Permalink

                Yes, I think there were several cases. Here’s one:

                https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/03/antarctica-1961-a-soviet-surgeon-has-to-remove-his-own-appendix/72445/

              • Diane G
                Posted December 13, 2018 at 6:20 pm | Permalink

                Oh, I remembered the first case in your link as soon as I saw it. 2 or 3 of the others I remember as well. Some pretty astounding feats, there! Oh, and thanks for doing my Googling for me. 😉

                “(why is it always 10?):”

                Because we have 10 fingers.

              • rickflick
                Posted December 13, 2018 at 12:04 pm | Permalink

                Here is a list of 10(why is it always 10?):

                http://listverse.com/2008/12/09/top-10-incredible-self-surgeries/

              • Diane G
                Posted December 13, 2018 at 6:29 pm | Permalink

                And somehow I managed to reply to your last comment beneath your penultimate comment (in this answer thread–so far) rather than the one I’m replying to now…(I hope)…

                (Wouldn’t it be nice if individual WP comments were numbered? I know I could use the time instead, but don’t different time zones show different times?)

              • rickflick
                Posted December 13, 2018 at 10:53 pm | Permalink

                I think WP adjusts for your very own zone. But, it would be hard to count on it.

              • Diane G
                Posted December 13, 2018 at 10:55 pm | Permalink

                Appreciate the corroboration. 🙂

  30. Jenny Haniver
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 7:13 pm | Permalink

    I’m a woman and I detest the term “self-care” whether uttered by or directed toward men or women. But, hey, I’m from another generation and this is the lingo of the day.

  31. ladyatheist
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 7:21 pm | Permalink

    Supposedly, married men live longer than single men. I imagine this would be due to the resistance to “self-care” until being nagged into getting those invasive personal medical tests.

    Youngish men these days are sporting the full, cough drop brothers’ beard. Self-care should be antibiotic beard soap and a flea comb!

    • Merilee
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 7:22 pm | Permalink

      Lol

    • E.A. Blair
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 11:56 pm | Permalink

      Someone somewhere said that married men don’t live longer, it just seems that way.

      I looked forward to growing old with my wife, but that wasn’t to be. I still miss her.

      • Posted December 11, 2018 at 6:10 am | Permalink

        Very sorry to hear this. I too look forward to a long retirement with my wife. Here’s hoping.

        • GBJames
          Posted December 11, 2018 at 6:57 am | Permalink

          Ain’t mortality grand?

      • rickflick
        Posted December 11, 2018 at 7:15 pm | Permalink

        Tough luck. I was just thinking how lucky I am despite some squabbles and how lonely I am not. Best wishes.

  32. Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:28 pm | Permalink

    I’ve owned and worn out several pair of slippers just like the ones shown. I’m wearing a pair right now. Do you have a problem with that? 🙂

    • rickflick
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:05 pm | Permalink

      You’re obviously a gifted individual. 😎

  33. Nicolaas Stempels
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:33 pm | Permalink

    I think I’d go for the massage. Ages ago since I had one.
    Practical slippers should be open at the back, easier to put on.

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:02 pm | Permalink

      Yeah, that’s why I wear the shearling clogs. I can slip out of them and into them easily.

    • rickflick
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:07 pm | Permalink

      You may have to sacrifice the ability to sprint when circumstances require.

      • Diana MacPherson
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:08 pm | Permalink

        A real man stands his ground. 🙂

        • James
          Posted December 11, 2018 at 7:59 am | Permalink

          It’s more a question of arriving in time. When your three year old has a parring knife and is telling his sibling “Let’s play doctor!” running is an important skill to have…

          • Nicolaas Stempels
            Posted December 11, 2018 at 12:51 pm | Permalink

            In those cases you don’t run but dive. 🙂
            In fact, I think the circumstance where the little hand is stretching towards a pan with boiling water (or other) is more common in needing really fast intervention.
            Seriously, I doubt whether it makes a real difference, these slippers slipped out of as easily as slipped in.

    • Mark Sturtevant
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:49 pm | Permalink

      To each their own. I wouldn’t want to do a quick run to the grocery store in the rain or snow in open backed slippers. But closed backed ones, no prob.

      • Diana MacPherson
        Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:57 pm | Permalink

        Nah, you can totally do it with the right clogs. I go out in mine all the time. I actually have a “going’ out” pair for quick trips when I’m too lazy to switch them. No good past about -5C though.

        • Merilee
          Posted December 10, 2018 at 11:47 pm | Permalink

          I wear my clogs outside all the time if there’s less than an inch of snow. We Canucks (and Pseudo-Canucks are tough!).

          • Posted December 11, 2018 at 6:09 am | Permalink

            I’m a Minnesotan — I go barefoot!

            • Merilee
              Posted December 11, 2018 at 9:20 am | Permalink

              Touché⛄️

      • Nicolaas Stempels
        Posted December 11, 2018 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

        No snow here, but I wouldn’t dream of going to the grocery store in house slippers, I’d use those ‘duramo slides’ open nosed. Even when living in snow areas, I’d never use slippers, boots, yes.

  34. dabertini
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:40 pm | Permalink

    I think they would sell more of those gifts if they market them as gag gifts.

    • E.A. Blair
      Posted December 11, 2018 at 12:00 am | Permalink

      Most of them make me want to gag.

  35. Diana MacPherson
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 8:44 pm | Permalink

    These present protests made me think of another disgruntled man who didn’t want to be what others wanted him to be.

    • Merilee
      Posted December 10, 2018 at 11:35 pm | Permalink

      Suspenders and a braaaaar🎶

  36. tubby
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 9:12 pm | Permalink

    The mushroom teas/concoctions/elixirs are wierd to us, bur are a thing in the supplementosphere. Chaga is routinely prepared as a hot drink/coffee substitute, and sometimes people claim it has medicinal value. The cordyceps is a variety that infects caterillars, and hails from Tibet and is part if TCM where medicinal claims are made about it. Lion’s mane is delicious when fried in butter, with a slight seafood-like flavor and might be good in vegetarian crab cakes. You can find it in high end stores where less fluffy forms may be called pom pom mushrooms. Of course, medicinal claims are made, but aside from the people screaming about its neurogenerative qualities (dubious), there’s research into some potential anti-cancer chemicals found in it. Forget pills and potions, just eat this one like any other edible mushroom.

    • GBJames
      Posted December 11, 2018 at 6:51 am | Permalink

      I fried up a Lion’s mane mushroom for the first time last fall. Very good. I picked it up at a “Mushroom Day” event at our local Urban Ecology Center. There was a nice variety of mushrooms I had never tried before.

      Notable, also, was the table of “medicinal” dried mushroom for making tea and preventing the return of the Dread Gomboo.

  37. Merilee
    Posted December 10, 2018 at 11:52 pm | Permalink

    Who could resist these?
    https://www.llbean.ca/shop/Womens-Daybreak-Scuffs%2C-Motif/70223.html

  38. infiniteimprobabilit
    Posted December 11, 2018 at 1:21 am | Permalink

    Has anyone noticed the appalling syntax of the headline?

    “15 Self-care Gifts for Guys They Really Want”

    Who is this ‘they’ who really wants these guys? Some un-named gals, presumably.

    I suspect most of us schmucks aren’t guys they really want at all. Too bad, they’re stuck with us.

    cr

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted December 11, 2018 at 1:29 am | Permalink

      Oh, I see Merilee already noticed at #18. Priority duly acknowledged 😉

      cr

      • Merilee
        Posted December 11, 2018 at 9:12 am | Permalink

        It’s soo gratifying to be acknowledged🤓

    • Merilee
      Posted December 11, 2018 at 9:10 am | Permalink

      See my earlier comment…

  39. Posted December 11, 2018 at 6:05 am | Permalink

    I approve of your list, Jerry.

    And I too, find their list laughable.

    Holy crap! I’d find almost any tool more welcome.

    My wife does have a hard time buying for me: I’m the wine expert, I do all the cooking (but I am NOT a gadget person; and I have all the cooking tools I need or want (or can store)), and my musical tastes can be hard to pin down. And, I buy all my own books when I want them.

    Anyway, I keep an active Amazon Wish List to help her. 🙂

    • GBJames
      Posted December 11, 2018 at 6:56 am | Permalink

      “I’d find almost any tool more welcome.”

      Careful there….

      • Merilee
        Posted December 11, 2018 at 9:25 am | Permalink

        “Is private consultation right for you?” As opposed to what – public?

      • Posted December 13, 2018 at 11:44 am | Permalink

        Damn, that’s another link I’ll have to clear from my history.

        • Diana MacPherson
          Posted December 13, 2018 at 11:49 am | Permalink

          Ha ha! That was the one I mentioned on the other thread that I clicked on at work.

  40. Wunold
    Posted December 11, 2018 at 6:06 am | Permalink

    Although I seldom light candles when I’m alone, I like to have them on the table when I have visitors, regardless of their sex, gender, species, or number of heads. I also like candles on the breakfast table.

    But I also like medieval furnishing, so that might play into it.

    And I don’t like candles as presents. Apart from being everyday objects like towels or napkins, even people that are very close to me might be wrong about the kind of things that I want to have in my home.

    • Nicolaas Stempels
      Posted December 11, 2018 at 1:06 pm | Permalink

      Candles used to be part of the seduction tactics, no need to give them to me.

  41. Posted December 11, 2018 at 6:36 am | Permalink

    I’d like a good blanket.

    My self-care involves wifi and a computer, or friends.

  42. Blue
    Posted December 11, 2018 at 8:57 am | Permalink

    a genuine query for any man here:

    What is your take of thus as present for
    an utterly manly man ?

    http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/p/black-cherry-merlot-hand-cream-023655017.html#q=merlot&lang=en_US&start=10 ?

    I happen to adore it for hand cream.
    Its shea and its scent.

    What about, though, for men and their wants and
    desires … … and need … … for supple hands ?

    Blue

    • Michael Fisher
      Posted December 11, 2018 at 9:41 am | Permalink

      JUST MY OPINION: Not at all on my radar as something I’d want Blue.

      ** I’d want a non-scented cream if I had dry, cracked skin on my hands
      ** I’d want it in a screw top jar or a pump action rather than an annoying capped tube
      ** If I worked where dry, cracked hands happen I’d like suitable gloves – there’s very good options available now that don’t impinge on dexterity – some gloves increase grip in fact. But they need to be well ventilated [unsweaty].
      ** Though correct protection for the senses, limbs, head etc should be employer supplied as a matter of course [EU speaking].

      WHAT I DO USE
      ** I don’t have solid soap in the house as it’s a nuisance & hairs in soap are a deal breaker! Thus I have a aloa vera liquid soap dispenser at every sink – effective at killing onion, garlic or chilli scents on the hands

      ** Clubman Virgin Island Bay Rum on my hair if I’m going out & if I remember. A no nonsense scent for an old fashioned geezer.

      ** Aftershave balm on my face sometimes Nivea After Shave Lotion is effective & cheap – supposedly it’s menthol, but it smells different from that & rather lovely [in a restrained way] LINK

      ** PALMOLIVE SHAVE STICK – I love this stuff. Smooth, glidy wet shave.

      If he’s getting on a bit he might like a nose & ear hair clipper – guys don’t realise how distracting & unattractive these growths are – almost as bad as untamed eyebrows or the ‘comb over’ at diverting attention from what’s going on!

      • rickflick
        Posted December 11, 2018 at 10:32 am | Permalink

        “it smells different from that & rather lovely [in a restrained way] LINK”

        For a moment I was expecting that LINK would actually provide the scent. Some sort of scratch and sniff. I’m way ahead of my technological time.

        • Michael Fisher
          Posted December 11, 2018 at 10:36 am | Permalink

          LOL – you are an old card 🙂

      • Blue
        Posted December 11, 2018 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

        O ! Mr Fisher, these clues are smashing !

        I wish I ‘ad asked ‘fore … … already
        diving ahead: I mean = I knew that he adores cherries soooo
        I just extrapolated … … likely b a d l y !

        MY thanks !
        Blue

        • Blue
          Posted December 11, 2018 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

          addendum: and, indeed Mr Fisher, he does
          “work where dry, cracked hands happen;” and
          as for the employer supplying protection ?
          He is the works’ boss so I am wagering that
          he has already those … … terrific gloves !

          Blue

        • Michael Fisher
          Posted December 11, 2018 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

          A pleasure Blue

          P.S. I chew cherries, strawberries, curries, bloody steaks etc, but eschew same as scents for Man Stuffz 🙂

    • Michael Fisher
      Posted December 11, 2018 at 2:37 pm | Permalink

      A serious suggestion for a Man Gift [a well known observation about guys already mentioned above]:

      Most GUYS already have everything they want & absolutely do not want another shirt or pair of socks. The only thing to buy GUYS is ‘consumables’ & experiences [broadly construed]. Your GUY is too busy to indulge himself so he needs organising:

      ** Box of cigars one step up from usual smoke
      ** A box set of two or three whiskys/whiskeys [dodgy enterprise as it’s easy to get it wrong. Not everyone likes ‘peaty’ Scotch – I can’t bear it, but love smooth blends which are looked down on]
      ** As above but Cognac/brandy [I think the cheap/medium priced stuff tastes best]
      ** As above, but port
      ** Cheeses maybe
      ** Christmas/birthday food hamper

      ** Restaurant reservations at a four month waiting list type place
      ** Season ticket to their sports team
      ** Away day at a motor racing track, scuba diving or gliding/flying club – they get to drive, dive, fly
      ** Concert ticket[s]

      There are exceptions to the consumables rule – a genuine Grateful Dead poster signed & framed for example

      • Blue
        Posted December 11, 2018 at 2:46 pm | Permalink

        This registry is, Mr Fisher, so, so helpful.

        Please, All Men here: please chime in with such !
        I, for one woman, know l i t t l e in re
        giving presents to men and, now, need the lessons !

        Seriously.

        Blue

        • Michael Fisher
          Posted December 11, 2018 at 2:58 pm | Permalink

          Men rarely get good gifts – it requires knowledge of the persons interests & a look around their abode. As an adult I think I’ve had two good presents in forty years – one was a bunch of flowers! Hitting the spot with a good personalised handmade card means a lot more than $180 leather monogrammed slippers.

  43. gravelinspector-Aidan
    Posted December 11, 2018 at 11:38 am | Permalink

    Whether the guy you’re gifting is stylish like Zac Efron, athletic like Stephen Curry or beloved like Jonathan Van Ness,

    Three unimaginative owls on a branch.

    (“Who?”, “Who?” and “Who?”)

  44. Nicolaas Stempels
    Posted December 11, 2018 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

    The best birthday present I ever got was given by my daughter: a box with the complete works of JS Bach, 155 CD’s!

    • Merilee
      Posted December 11, 2018 at 1:34 pm | Permalink

      Wonderful. I knew that JS was prolific, but not to that extent.

  45. Posted December 11, 2018 at 1:26 pm | Permalink

    Best gift for anyone:something that you know with moral certainty will be enjoyed and yet be unexpected.

  46. Jim Swetnam
    Posted December 11, 2018 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    A Bengal kitten would be lovely. I have been given cats in the past but now the the notion of a cat as a gift seems a little strange. The last dozen or more cats I have taken in over the years have all been abandonded, neglected, or mistreated neighborhood kittiies that have chosen me. I would say it’s more like the five cats I have mow own me.
    Slippers are also cool.
    I’ll take a pass on any sort of product.
    Non psychoactive mushroom tea is just weird.
    Good Cuban cigars sound SOOO good, but I quit smoking a year ago.
    Islay scotch, good choice. Also very good with a Cuban cigar.

  47. Posted December 13, 2018 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    I’m a bit suspicious of #15 “for post-workout relief”.


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