Should I start a GoFundMe?

Reader Amy called my attention to this awesome product from The Ozark Source. Somehow I can’t justify spending the dosh on it, but oy, is it awesome!

This is too menial a task to call the duck “James,” but “Billzebub” fits it nicely.

44 Comments

  1. Randall Schenck
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 2:33 pm | Permalink

    Is this to be set up at the pond?

  2. Frank Bath
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 2:39 pm | Permalink

    It sure beats Toilet Duck.

    • grasshopper
      Posted October 13, 2018 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

      It’s very appropriate – a Toilet Duck that gives you the sheets.

  3. phoffman56
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 2:41 pm | Permalink

    Why not a GoFundMe for moving that (actual) duck out of his puddle and into the ‘mainland’ of New Zealand, or elsewhere?

    Maybe you’d get enough to move him(?) to Canada, somewhere off-limits for the hunters. But a mate there? Likely not, but then maybe get a whole new duck species. (Not likely!)

    • ladyatheist
      Posted October 13, 2018 at 11:15 pm | Permalink

      I think there would be less trouble finding a few other ducks to join him.

      • phoffman56
        Posted October 14, 2018 at 7:03 am | Permalink

        In that tiny shrinking puddle as the dry season approaches?

  4. Posted October 13, 2018 at 2:45 pm | Permalink

    The first think I noticed about the duck is that he’s banded. Is this so that researchers can track his migratory route to my bathroom? I find that a bit scary.

  5. mordacious1
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 2:50 pm | Permalink

    (Sorry-I can’t help myself)

    Is that what one uses to wipe one’s quack?

    • Glenda Palmer
      Posted October 13, 2018 at 2:55 pm | Permalink

      😆😊

    • ladyatheist
      Posted October 13, 2018 at 11:16 pm | Permalink

      Good one!

  6. Michael Fisher
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 2:56 pm | Permalink

    Rivers Edge Products, Minnesota who are the supplier also do these two products below. You could get a discount for a bigger order:


    Classy stuff – the Milan & London decor market leaders will be taking notes! 🙂

  7. David Coxill
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 2:59 pm | Permalink

    Seems like the thing you find advertised in the mags in the pouch on the back of Airline seats .

  8. Sarah
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 3:00 pm | Permalink

    Go for it. With this new emphasis on ducks, you’re on a roll! 😉

  9. Michael Fisher
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 3:02 pm | Permalink

    And there’s these sandals which Stephen Barnard would adore:

    • yazikus
      Posted October 13, 2018 at 3:18 pm | Permalink

      This picture is making me frown.

    • Les Faby
      Posted October 13, 2018 at 3:31 pm | Permalink

      The shoes will be sold with
      Neil Shubin’s next book, “Your Outer Fish.”

      • grasshopper
        Posted October 13, 2018 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

        🙂

      • Merilee
        Posted October 13, 2018 at 4:21 pm | Permalink

        +1
        Wonder if Stephen Barnard would paint his toenails red?

    • Posted October 13, 2018 at 4:29 pm | Permalink

      When homeboy wears THESE, well, it’s quiet for him. .

      • Michael Fisher
        Posted October 13, 2018 at 9:41 pm | Permalink

        Very good! LOL. I think the idiom is “homeboy” ~ isn’t it?

        • rickflick
          Posted October 13, 2018 at 10:24 pm | Permalink

          Or was that last week?

        • Posted October 14, 2018 at 2:14 am | Permalink

          Yeah, it’s “Homeboy”. I made a typo.

          • Claudia Baker
            Posted October 14, 2018 at 9:21 am | Permalink

            Thanks for the laugh this morning Jerry. I really did lol at your homeboy comment. And I have to agree: if homeboy was wearing those, it would be quiet for a while!

  10. Bruce Lyon
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 3:11 pm | Permalink

    Too expensive—are you serious? Given your passion for ducks, Jerry, if you scale this purchase in terms of cost per duck post you have every posted, it is about a penny per post. A bargain if I have ever seen one. If it were me, this would be in my bathroom faster than you can say “ducks rock”. Do it for the ducks.

  11. yiamcross
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 3:37 pm | Permalink

    You know you want it. Why resist?

    • Rita Prangle
      Posted October 13, 2018 at 4:09 pm | Permalink

      +1

  12. Posted October 13, 2018 at 3:42 pm | Permalink

    If you put it out by the duck pond to gauge the ducks’ reactions, you could count it as a research expense!

  13. Posted October 13, 2018 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    The person who designed that duck has no appreciation for a real mallard’s speculum. Jerry would not be happy with this travesty.

    • Posted October 13, 2018 at 4:30 pm | Permalink

      Indeed; if that’s a speculum, it’s in the wrong goddam place! At least they got the curly tail feathers right!

  14. Merilee
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 4:22 pm | Permalink

    ✔️✔️

  15. infiniteimprobabilit
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 5:17 pm | Permalink

    Is that roll Under or Over?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

    cr

  16. Christopher
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 6:48 pm | Permalink

    There is also a mallard wine bottle holder, if you are interested. I own one (a gag gift from my father) but it’s function does not meet its form, or perhaps it holds a bottle of wine about as well as a real duck could.

    • Posted October 13, 2018 at 7:51 pm | Permalink

      Also a corkscrew. This is not a bad approximation to the shape and proportion to a mallard’s genitalia.

      • Christopher
        Posted October 14, 2018 at 10:48 am | Permalink

        You need to patent that idea now! A sure sales hit.

  17. Posted October 13, 2018 at 8:28 pm | Permalink

    …. or maybe Billzebum? (I can’t find it at the store website, only the horse and bear TP holders.)

  18. rickflick
    Posted October 13, 2018 at 8:42 pm | Permalink

    Definitely.

  19. Posted October 13, 2018 at 8:58 pm | Permalink

    It’s Damn Cute! Go For it! 🙂 ❤

  20. Nicolaas Stempels
    Posted October 14, 2018 at 1:07 pm | Permalink

    Honestly, and my apologies for being the party pooper, but I think it is not really in good taste. But then, “de gustibus non disputandum esset”.
    And I’m guilty too: I once had a shark jaw toilet seat.

  21. David Jorling
    Posted October 14, 2018 at 1:27 pm | Permalink

    I have to get one of these. As an Oregon Duck fan, it will make the perfect gift to send to my obnoxious Washington Husky acquaintance.

    https://www.oregonlive.com/ducks/index.ssf/2018/10/oregon_ducks_move_into_top_15.html

  22. Posted October 14, 2018 at 1:29 pm | Permalink

    Control yourself

  23. Roo
    Posted October 15, 2018 at 2:00 pm | Permalink

    Looks like that price is actually a steal, when you look it up on Google shopping it goes for closer to $100 in a lot of places!

    So did you end up getting it? If you don’t have it by Christmas post again and I’ll take up a holiday gift collection among my bird-loving friends and send it off to the U of Chicago – don’t want to double gift if you already got it though!


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