Saturday: Hili dialogue

It’s the weekend: Saturday, August 4, 2018, and National Chocolate Chip Day. It’s also Coast Guard Day in the U.S., marking the founding of that branch of the military on August 4, 1790. How many of you Americans have even thought about the Coast Guard today? It provides a valuable service.

On August 4, 1693, according to Wikipedia, this day was the “date traditionally ascribed to Dom Perignon’s invention of champagne; it is not clear whether he actually invented champagne, however he has been credited as an innovator who developed the techniques used to perfect sparkling wine.” More accurately, it was on this day in 1892 that the father and stepmother of Lizzie Borden were found hacked to death in their Massachusetts home, giving rise to the famous rhyme, “Lizzie Borden took an axe/And gave her parents forty whacks.” But Borden was acquitted of the murders.  On this day in 1914, World War I grew wider as, in response to the German invasion of Belgium, both Belgium and the British Empire declared war on Germany. The U.S. declared it would remain neutral. On this day in 1944, after a Dutch informer squealed about the hiding place of Anne Frank and her family, the Gestapo raided their Amsterdam hiding place, arresting several people. Only her father survived the camps where they were sent.  On August 4, 1964, the three civil right workers, Michael SchwernerAndrew Goodman and James Chaney were found dead in Mississippi after disappearing six weeks earlier. Finally, on this day in 1993, two Los Angeles police officers were sentenced to 30 months in prison for violating the civil rights of Rodney King, a black man brutally beaten (and filmed) by police after being stopped for speeding. This incident and the acquital of other officers led to the Los Angeles riots of 1992. King died at 47 in 2012, drowning accidentally in his swimming pool.

Notables born on this day include Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792), Louis Vuitton (1821), Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother (1900), Louis Armstrong (1901), Raoul Wallenberg (1912), Billy Bob Thornton (1955), Mary Decker (1958), Barack Obama (1961), and Meghan Markle (1981). Not many notables died on August 4; I could come up with only Hans Christian Andersen.

Meanwhile in Dobrzyn, The Princess is bragging, as usual. Look at that face!

Hili: I’m boundlessly proud of my infinite humility.
A: I can see it.
In Polish:
Hili: Jestem nieskończenie dumna z mojej niezmierzonej pokory.
Ja: Widzę.

Our TweetFinder find the best stuff on Twitter so you don’t have to look.

Tweets from Grania. First at bat, Melissa Chen, a young Asian woman, objects to Sarah Jeong’s racist tweets:

Related to that, I almost always agree with the estimable Amy Alkon:

Marie Claire, the magazine, finds Rihanna’s eyebrows problematic. Guess why? Read the link in the tweet:

This is from the Ravenmaster, the Beefeater in charge of the ravens at the Tower of London. Who’s a clever raven? But oy, he gets a mouse!

Grania notes, “More evidence for your [JAC’s] theory that babies are not cute.  Seriously these things belong in a horror movie.”

And a cute kitten:

This came via both Grania and Heather:

Tweets via Matthew Cobb: This first one took me a minute to figure out. Think about it until you do, too!

Well, the rabbit doesn’t swim well, but as Dr. Johnson said, “I’m surprised to find it done at all.”

Nature imitates art!

An inept simile from the President’s lawyer:





  1. Randall Schenck
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 7:04 am | Permalink

    Living in the middle of Kansas, one does not think about the Coast Guard too often. There is this nice little island between Oakland and Alameda, Ca. where the Coast Guard maintains a station. I was in the shipping business where we loaded and shipped lots of seavans overseas. If you got into trouble with the Coast Guard you had to go to the Island to make your case and get out of trouble. They call it Government Island.

    • Jenny Haniver
      Posted August 4, 2018 at 10:06 am | Permalink

      I looked it up. Live and learn. I’d never known of this island before, and I’ve lived here since the early 1970s.

      • Randall Schenck
        Posted August 4, 2018 at 10:14 am | Permalink

        Glad to help. I think they now call it Coast Guard Island on google maps but pretty sure it use to be government island. They do have security there so they may not let you in without appropriate id?

        If you live in Alameda, congratulations, a great place to live.

        • Jenny Haniver
          Posted August 4, 2018 at 11:45 am | Permalink

          No, I live in Berzerkeley. Alameda is indeed very nice. I used to go down to the shore in Alameda to look for very elusive clapper rails, which was fun.

          • Randall Schenck
            Posted August 4, 2018 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

            I lived in Alameda in the early eighties when it was almost still affordable to rent and then later around 2000. The biggest change was the loss of the Naval Air Station. But still a great place and a climate to die for.

  2. Linda Calhoun
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 7:40 am | Permalink

    I fervently hope that today I will have better things to do with my energy than worry about the shape of my eyebrows.


  3. John J. Fitzgerald
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 7:41 am | Permalink

    If memory serves,
    “Lizzie Borden took her axe,
    Gave her father 40 whacks.
    When she saw what she had done,
    Gave her mother 41.”

    At her trial, one of her lawyers, named Robinson, was the former Governor of Massachusetts. He was the Governor who appointed the judge who presided over the trial. Borden inherited a lot of money upon the death of her parents. She was probably guilty of both murders.

  4. Peter
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 7:54 am | Permalink

    swimming hare

    • Richard Bond
      Posted August 4, 2018 at 10:52 am | Permalink

      Agreed: that is a hare.

      • Richard Bond
        Posted August 4, 2018 at 10:56 am | Permalink

        Agreed: that is a hare.

    • Richard Bond
      Posted August 4, 2018 at 10:57 am | Permalink

      Agreed: that is a hare.

      • Richard Bond
        Posted August 4, 2018 at 2:51 pm | Permalink

        Apologies: what happened there?

  5. Torbjörn Larsson
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 8:01 am | Permalink

    Shouldn’t that be “Three _lazy_ logicians …”, since the logic is that the can chain stop immediately?

    If so, funnier too, in my Hili-humble opinion.

    • Michael Fisher
      Posted August 4, 2018 at 8:50 am | Permalink

      But the chain can’t stop immediately. It isn’t stated in the cartoon, but, as with all these type puzzles, the seated logicians have no foreknowledge regarding the beverage desires of each other.

      • Serendipitydawg
        Posted August 4, 2018 at 9:32 am | Permalink

        The chain could stop immediately if the first logician didn’t want a beer, however, the server would then need to ask a different question, “what can I get you?”, though that would require predicate logic if they are truly pedantic logicians 🙂

      • Posted August 4, 2018 at 9:36 am | Permalink

        The chain can stop immediately if one does not want a beer.

        • infiniteimprobabilit
          Posted August 5, 2018 at 2:19 am | Permalink

          Yes, precisely. Any ‘not’ would contradict the ‘everybody’.

          Quite a neat little puzzle.

          If the question was ‘does anybody want a beer’ then the logic would be different.


  6. Torbjörn Larsson
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 8:02 am | Permalink

    “the can chain” – the chain can. (Emulating lazy logic in software languages.)

  7. Ken Kukec
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 9:18 am | Permalink

    … for violating the civil rights of Rodney King, a black man brutally beaten (and filmed) by police after being stopped for speeding.

    Rodney King’s beating was filmed by a civilian on a camcorder from the balcony of a nearby apartment. Those were the days before police bodycams and dashcams. And if such equipment had been available then, I’m quite sure the LA cops never would’ve allowed that video to see the light of day.

    • Posted August 4, 2018 at 10:10 am | Permalink

      Maybe. But if the police had been issued bodycams they probably wouldn’t have beaten King in the first place.

  8. Posted August 4, 2018 at 9:31 am | Permalink

    But Othello went into a murderous rage *because* Iago betrayed him by lying about Desdemona. So Cohen’s betrayal is the reason Trump’s contemptible behavior?

  9. Jenny Haniver
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 10:23 am | Permalink

    So Sarah Jeong appeals to Poe’s Law, which, in my estimation, is a modern day expression of Aesop’s fable about the boy who cried wolf. The NYT ought to fire her if only because a tech editor shouldn’t be so careless or ignorant about the fate of their tweets. I’m not a white male, though could make a bad joke about affirmative action, but I won’t. I could also characterize the actions of the “DWM’s” at the NYT as the equivalent of singing “Batti, batti, bella Sarah,” the male equivalent of Mozart’s aria “Batti, batti, bel Masetto” from Don Giovanni.

  10. Mark Ayling
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 11:04 am | Permalink

    An even shorter pangram, in fact “perfect” (each letter appears exactly once):

    Quartz glyph job vex’d cwm finks.

    However, it’s:
    a) arguably cheating in a couple of places;
    b) even less likely to come in GIF form, unless there exists footage of some thugs getting upset while trying to make an inscription in some quartz in a Welsh glacial valley…

    • Serendipitydawg
      Posted August 4, 2018 at 11:32 am | Permalink

      Definitely α+ 🙂

      (alpha+ in case the markup fails)

      • Mark Ayling
        Posted August 4, 2018 at 1:23 pm | Permalink

        👍 (thumbs-up, in case)

  11. JonLynnHarvey
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 12:03 pm | Permalink

    Not sure I agree with the 2nd half of Sarah Churchwell’s tweet. Senators believed Caesar was trying to assume dictatorial powers, but Shakespeare leaves it ambiguous as to how far Caesar was really trying to go, and suggests that the assassins may have been a wee bit paranoid. At the end, Mark Antony suggests only Brutus had really noble motives.

  12. Jeff Chamberlain
    Posted August 4, 2018 at 2:23 pm | Permalink

    Some other notables who died on August 4 include Jeri Southern (1991), Lee Hazlewood (2007, Victor Mature(1999,)and Eddie Condon (1973).

  13. Posted August 4, 2018 at 5:44 pm | Permalink

    Louis Armstrong lived and died believing he had ben born on July 4, 1900, as his mother told him.

    That would have been appropriate for the voice of America and the voice of the Century. But his real birthday was, indeed, August 4, 1901.

    I guess his mother didn’t want him to dig up the facts of either his illegitimacy or his having been baptised as a Catholic. Glad we live in better times.

  14. Dale Franzwa
    Posted August 5, 2018 at 12:30 am | Permalink

    Back to the Coast Guard. They’re all over San Diego Harbor and even have a base on Ballast Point (at the harbor entrance). I think about them because once a year or so they stop my boat and give it a safety inspection (yes, I always pass).

    The Coast Guard is the agency that patrols the waters from the Mexico border to the beaches of Los Angeles (known as Smugglers Alley) where pangas (small open boats) which carry drugs and illegals, drop them off at night on deserted beaches. These boats are frequently abandoned wherever they come ashore.

    The Coast Guard does a good job intercepting these boats before they come ashore but we’ll probably never know how many make it through. Smugglers Alley is one migration route where Trump can never build a wall.

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