Jesus ‘n’ Mo ‘n’ wudu

Wudu” is the ritual washing of the body before Muslim worship. In the new Jesus and Mo strip, called “wudu2”, Jesus messes up Mo’s ritual:

And indeed, a fart nullifies your wudu. As Wikipedia notes, these are the acts that invalidate wudu for Sunnis (flatulence has the same effect for Shiites):

According to Sunni Muslims

  • Defecation or urination
  • Odorous or audible emissions of flatulence
  • Emission of semen (ghusl is required)
  • Slow-wave sleep while reclining
  • Vomiting
  • Loss of senses
  • Fainting
  • Sexual contact with another person (ghusl is required)
  • Touching the private parts with the bare hands (not according to Hanafi Madhhab)
  • Blood or pus leaving the body so that it leaves the point of exit (however if the blood or pus exits from the private parts then any amount breaks wuḍūʾ). Note that bleeding except from private parts does not invalidate wuḍūʾ according to Shafi’i Madhhab.

27 Comments

  1. carpevita
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 8:46 am | Permalink

    This comic reminds me of your post of Robert Sapolsky’s lecture on Mental Illness where he discusses OCD like behavior in religious rituals:
    https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/07/09/robert-sapolsky-religion-is-a-mental-illness/

  2. Michael Fisher
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 8:53 am | Permalink

    Stephen Colbert Show. Is it true nipples aren’t kosher? I looked it up, no luck.

    [cued up to relevant part of video]

    • Michael Fisher
      Posted February 28, 2018 at 8:54 am | Permalink

      damn – put the link on a new line by accident, so it embedded

    • rickflick
      Posted February 28, 2018 at 9:17 am | Permalink

      Colbert does it again. I have to keep going back to humor to survive this desperate time.

  3. GBJames
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 9:03 am | Permalink

    Loss of senses? Kind of puts the truly faithful in permanent wudu territory, no?

  4. Ken Kukec
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 9:08 am | Permalink

    No hoodoo, no voodoo, no wudu, is my motto.

  5. Dominic
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 9:43 am | Permalink

    wudu = wood in Old English!

    • Mike
      Posted March 2, 2018 at 8:25 am | Permalink

      It’s all WooHoo if you ask me.

  6. glen1davidson
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    By taking over so much of the lives of the believers, it becomes hard to imagine living without it.

    It’s hard for Muslims to ignore a religion as pervasive and invasive as Islam.

    Glen Davidson

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted February 28, 2018 at 9:55 pm | Permalink

      Wudu voodoo.

      Reason #23457 why I could never be a Muslim.

      If I did the technicolor yawn all over myself I might feel impelled to take another shower. Otherwise, nahh.

      I’m such a grub.

      cr

  7. BobTerrace
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 10:35 am | Permalink

    Wudu: voodoo cuckoo

    I refuse all artificial rituals except for things like walking/cycling/driving on the right/left type of ritual which has a valid reason.

  8. samitchell79
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 11:02 am | Permalink

    How do Sunni’s keep jobs or relationships with this intrusive ritualized behavior? Oh shit, I just farted again…

    • BobTerrace
      Posted February 28, 2018 at 11:07 am | Permalink

      Gee, I wonder if they execute people with Crohn’s disease or IBD.

  9. David Coxill
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 11:07 am | Permalink

    Do that wudu that you do so well .

    • JonLynnHarvey
      Posted February 28, 2018 at 11:40 am | Permalink

      What would we do without Cole Porter??

      • David Coxill
        Posted February 28, 2018 at 2:31 pm | Permalink

        I was thinking about Hedy Lamarr ( sorry Hedley Lamarr ) from Blazing Saddles .

  10. Posted February 28, 2018 at 11:56 am | Permalink

    What is *also* amazing to me (or rather not) is that there’s a Sunni/Shiite split on this. WHY??

    • Heather Hastie
      Posted February 28, 2018 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

      It’s about who’s doing the interpretation of the Qur’an etc. Different people read different meaning into the verses, and Sunni and Shi’a schools interpret critical words slightly differently.

  11. Pablo
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 12:53 pm | Permalink

    If you’re vomiting and oozing pus, maybe stop your ritual and see a doctor.

    • David Coxill
      Posted February 28, 2018 at 2:32 pm | Permalink

      HAHA.

  12. ashdeville
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 3:42 pm | Permalink

    This is the glorious idiocy of Islam that needs to be brought into the withering sunlight of mockery and satire.

    I would defy any Muslim to keep a straight face whilst telling me that the creator of the swirling maelstroms of galaxies gets mighty upset about you farting during prayers and will bring his wrathful anger down on you for your gastric transgressions

  13. Mark R.
    Posted February 28, 2018 at 4:54 pm | Permalink

    So the very act of living is in defiance of Islam. It seems their fear of evil amounts to fear of microbes.

    • Michael Fisher
      Posted February 28, 2018 at 5:08 pm | Permalink

      their weird attitude to bodily functions – especially with respect to women’s reproductive cycles. The Qur’an & the Hadiths fix all that in paradise – also the problem of more women in hell then men & yet sufficient houris in heaven to make the 70 to 1 ratio female/male…

  14. Charles Sawicki
    Posted March 1, 2018 at 7:19 am | Permalink

    The plethora of required rituals along with Occasionalism make Islam a much more powerful religion than Christianity and much more resistant to change and rationality. It’s impossible to fulfill all the ritual requirements faithfully, so that essentially everyone is due for extensive punishment in the grave (It’s purgatory with way more suffering.). A nice feature for recruiters of terrorists is that martyrs avoid all of this and go directly to paradise. It’s why the 9-11 terrorists could break all the rules (drink, sex etc) before becoming martyrs and still go straight to paradise.

  15. Diane G.
    Posted March 1, 2018 at 4:43 pm | Permalink

    sub

  16. somer
    Posted March 1, 2018 at 10:27 pm | Permalink

    Islam substitutes competitive reproduction (at the expense of dhimmis and women) for anything resembling quality of life for iether female or male muslims.

    Islam is a massive brainwashing system to keep you occupied all day focussing on it. All men must uphold and if necessary fight for the religion – there can be absolutely No dissent. And women cop virtual slave status (in islamic law a man must first free the slave before marrying her because marriage is held to be a form of “possession” and u can’t have double “possession”. The husband explicitly is “served” by the wife but the wife is explicitly there to “serve” the husband. It is extremely difficult for women to get divorce and Islamic courts are loth to give it because sharia states that marriage is meant to be hard for women because of what she owes the man and she shouldn’t be able to divorce without great difficulty. This is all explicit in the Marriage section of the Hidaya Commentary on the Islamic laws. In the Shaafi Reliance of the Traveller manual, the man is expected to service his wife at least 3 times a week to keep up what dear old Sheik Al-Munajjid of Islam Question and Answer site calls the “pride of the Prophet” (babies) and the canonical hadith book Tirmidhi says that in paradise a man will produce male heirs that are born in minutes after sex.

    Islam’s first concern is reproduction at the expense of non muslims, and especially favouring men over women. Even poor men can have four wives, and in times of conquest are likely to have female slaves doubling as sex slaves/domestic servants as well. In addition the woman must follow protocols that ensure he has sole sexual access to her and must comply to the husbands sexual demands at all times and must obey him in everything unless it contradicts sharia. In sunni islam Women can be contracted to be married from birth and can be given for sex by the husband as soon as they can physically stand the act. Western influenced laws still prevent this last in most Islamic countries.
    The downside of this ferocious fidelity control is sexual frustration especially for young men because women should be absent from the public sphere. In many Islamic countries there is a lot of pederasty of boys, who are not considered men and can act as lords once they survive the rigours of childhood (including beating to learn scriptures by rote). If the family/extended kin/tribe doesnt enforce compliance they themselves come under suspicion of the islamic umma (nation) which is sharia bound to enforce religious compliance. According to the Muslim feminist org Southall Black Sisters of UK, and Liberal muslims like Amina lone and British ex muslims – nominations of Pakistani electoral candidates remain controlled by the Biraderi (Clan political system) and Pakistani village tribal chiefs constantly visit the UK. This is despite BBC assertions this is changing under the supposed beneficial influence of the dreaded George Galloway. Biraderi allows only devout muslims and women who accept orthodox Islam as candidates.
    The problem is most Liberals still don’t realise that Islam is uniquely resistant to reform – despite an incipient ex muslim movement the great majority of the second and third generations are actually MORE religious than their parents in the West. The solution of course should not feature military interventionism, but requires honesty impressed on the Muslim community about the nature of their religion and brutally honesty to those on the left who are naive about islam, and the the pro religion loving right. Ex muslims also need to be supported but at the same time Muslim Immigration – especially of less educated more conservative muslims needs to be controlled for however long it takes to counter the indoctrination. Everyone at schools should be required to hear ex muslim stories and the aggressive nature of indoctrination and too bad if people are offended
    The geo political situation with saudi is another headache – how to cut ties with them. Plus need to be realistic about preaching of Muslim brotherhood from Egypt and Qatar that pretends problems with Islam are actually western imperialism?

    There is death penalty/honour killing or at the least family ostracism as the penalty for straying from Islam. Its scriptures (which must include the hadith, interpretionas of Quran based on these and life of prophet written 100 years after his death) are held to be absolutely infallible – and only truly holy in Arabic – which most muslims dont undertstand. They are made to rote learn, whilst being expected to practise behaviours and beliefs whose scriptural basis is in another language and taught any criticism is a form of western injustice or a grave sin. Significant parts of the Quran, whilst still praiseworthy to recite, are abrogated by more aggressive Medina era verses or by Medina era passages of the sunna (hadith). Scholars disagree on the number of verses that are abrogated. The stuff about stoning for adultery is held to be a bit of the Quran eaten by a goat and hence not featuring in the Book and then written up in the hadith – which hadith of course abrogates lesser punishments for adultery found in the Quran. Stoning for adultery of course, is one of the abrogations accepted by All scholars.

    Islam kills those Muslims who start to question it. Even though other Abrahamic religions have periodically been extreme they have always retained a streak of genuine intellectual questioning built into the religion itself. Islam has no Graeco Roman tradition of argumentation or representation. However imperfect Greek and Roman societies were – argumentation and representation provided the possibility of eventual humane modernisation. It is even built into some of the theology of Christianity – in the trinity and concept of God the Word (the latter was also integrated into Judaism). Moreover Jewish talmud are much less extreme than Islamic hadith – which are MORE Misogynistic than the Quran and more Jihadist too.

    Islam is even more obsessed with hell than Christianity – it graphically and sadistically describes tortures in hell and incessantly refers to it throughout the scriptures – and there is no nice purgatory or limbo and no concept that hell could actually be only emotional estrangement from God (as last the three Popes have asserted)

  17. somer
    Posted March 1, 2018 at 10:50 pm | Permalink

    Sorry
    “Stoning for adultery of course, is one of the abrogations accepted by All scholars.”
    should be
    “Stoning for adultery of course, a universal replacement for non lethal punishments for stoning in the Quran which are universally held to be abrogated by All the Islamic scholars.”
    And of course in Islamic sharia it is made clear that the burden of proof for adultery is on women not men because the onus is on women to be “modest” and at home or accompanied by her husband.


%d bloggers like this: