Keeping your cat safe at Christmas

Here we have a combination of Simon’s Cat Christmas animations and the ever-reliable advice of Nicky Trevorrow of Cats Protection. (The Brits always use plurals for such things, as “Drinks party” or “Cats protections”. Americans would use the singular, “Cat protection” and “Cocktail party”—not “Cocktails party”.)

Here’s Ms. Trevorrow on general cat behavior; note her take on the Duplicitous Belly Exposure!

 

Finally, here’s a song I wrote one Christmas when my cat ate tinsel (I learned my lesson) and he vomited it up. Note that the song scans perfectly with the tune!

Silver Hairballs

(to tune of “Silver Bells“)

Silver balls,
Silver balls,
It’s Christmas time for the kitty;
Hear him howl,
Hear him growl–
He’ll throw up tinsel today.

Silver hairballs
Silver hairballs
‘Neath the bright Christmas tree
They are making a terrible mess;
Little hairballs
Laced with tinsel–
They are saying to me
That my cat is in gastric distress.

CHORUS

Silver balls,
Silver balls,
It’s Christmas time for the kitty;
Hear him howl,
Hear him growl–
He’ll throw up tinsel today.

Hear him retching
Hear me kvetching
At the mess in the house–
At the smell of cat vomit and pine;
He won’t eat tuna,
Won’t eat chicken,
Doesn’t look at a mouse;
For he wants food that dangles and shines.

Silver balls,
Silver balls,
It’s Christmas time for the kitty;
Hear him howl,
Hear him growl–
He’ll throw up tinsel today.

UPDATE: A cartoon from reader David:

16 Comments

  1. Liz
    Posted November 28, 2017 at 1:34 pm | Permalink

    Very nice lyrics! They go perfectly with the song.

    • Posted November 29, 2017 at 4:47 am | Permalink

      My favourite version is by Johnny Mathis

      • Michael Fisher
        Posted November 29, 2017 at 5:14 am | Permalink

        Columbia Records owned the universe in the late 50s. Your “Merry Christmas Johnny Mathis” LP & some wannabe who amounted to nothing named Miles Davis with “Kind of Blue” & “Sketches of Spain”

        I just looked up Johnny Mathis out of curiosity & the length of his discography is astonishing, 71 studio albums. The last one is two months ago at the age of 82 & he still plays golf. Also discovered he’s a Texas boy & he’s come out as gay – I imagined wrongly he was Brooklyn with a lass on each arm & a spare at home.

  2. Jonathan Wallace
    Posted November 28, 2017 at 3:05 pm | Permalink

    Speaking as a Brit, I would say cocktail party not cocktails party and cat protection not cats protection (in ordinary speech – ‘cats protection’ is the name that a feline welfare charity has adopted so that is the correct thing to call them). I would say ‘drinks party’ and ‘maths’ not ‘math’, though. As the saying goes we are two nations divided by a common language.

    • Michael Fisher
      Posted November 28, 2017 at 4:24 pm | Permalink

      Would you say “cupcake & cocktail party” or “cupcakes & cocktails party”?

      Would you say “vicar & tart fancy dress party” or “vicars & tarts fancy dress party”?

      I rest my case m’lud [a fellow Brit] 🙂

      • Posted November 28, 2017 at 9:39 pm | Permalink

        Would you say “cupcake & cocktail party” or “cupcakes & cocktails party”?

        No, we wouldn’t bother advertising the cupcakes for fear of putting people off. In Britain it’s a cocktail party, but cocktails party is not wrong as such.

  3. Posted November 28, 2017 at 3:06 pm | Permalink

    Lilies are also deadly poison for cats. Many Christmas tree decorations are made of very thin glass which shatter if they fall on the floor, and your cat(s) might step on the shards and hurt themselves badly.

  4. BJ
    Posted November 28, 2017 at 4:47 pm | Permalink

    The idea of buying a holiday present for your cat reminds me of a question I’ve had for some time now, and I’d like to put it to our many cat experts here.

    I’ve had my cat for over five years now, and I can’t get him to play with anything. He’s not at all a lazy cat and often seems like he’s craving stimulation, but I haven’t been able to find a single toy that interests him. I’ve tried balls, fishing rod-type toys, catnip-filled mice, balls with bells, and even mechanical toys that spin around or swing something back and forth.

    So, does anyone have any other suggestions for me? Has anyone else encountered this problem?

    • Michael Fisher
      Posted November 28, 2017 at 5:23 pm | Permalink

      Get a second cat. A kitten.

      • BJ
        Posted November 28, 2017 at 5:32 pm | Permalink

        I wish I could, but, unfortunately, that is not an option at the moment. Perhaps in a year or two.

    • Posted November 28, 2017 at 6:05 pm | Permalink

      You could try… a small electronic fish toy in a bathtub or sink, very soothing to watch. Similar app on an iPad with electronics fish. Many people also love the videos of swuirrels and mice and birds, compile just for cat TV.

      • Michael Fisher
        Posted November 28, 2017 at 6:09 pm | Permalink

        Good ideas! Also ensure you underfeed a little & provide a food dispenser toy – perhaps some fat cats are lazy cats.

        Check the kitty is healthy – no arthritis, not in pain etc

        • BJ
          Posted November 28, 2017 at 8:23 pm | Permalink

          He’s very healthy and runs up and down the halls and stairs when it’s bonkers time late at night. No health problems at all. Neither fat nor lazy, just very hard to please when it comes to toys.

          I will try a toy involving food. Seems that’s my last hope.

      • BJ
        Posted November 28, 2017 at 9:30 pm | Permalink

        Unfortunately, he’s never had any interest in things on screens. And I need something that will make him play and run around. But thanks for the suggestions.

        • Posted November 28, 2017 at 10:40 pm | Permalink

          Pleasing the kitties is a non-stop self-evaluation for staff- “Am I doing enough?” Clearly, the answer is always “No.”

  5. yazikus
    Posted November 28, 2017 at 9:36 pm | Permalink

    Here in the green PNW, I’ve been amused (happy?) to hear/see adverts about how to keep your pet safe from your edibles, and what to do if they consume them. Responsibility first!


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