Baby Sausage Jesus causes uproar in England

Matthew sent me an article from the Guardian (click headline below) with the note, “Greggs is a cheap and cheerful UK bakery chain known for its pasties, pies and – praise the Lord! – sausage rolls”.

Unfortunately, they substituted a sausage roll for Jesus in a nativity scene. BAD move!

 

Greggs’s £24 Advent calendar (that’s an expensive calendar, but it contains discount coupons) shows the three Wise Men worshiping a sausage roll:

Gold, frankincense and … pastry: the three wise men visit Greggs’ representation of the baby Jesus. Photograph: Taylor Herring/Greggs/PA

Christians complained:

The Rev Mark Edwards, of St Matthew’s church in Dinnington and St Cuthbert’s church in Brunswick, said Greggs had been disrespectful. He told the Newcastle-based Chronicle: “It goes beyond just commercialism, it’s showing a total disregard and disrespect towards one of the greatest stories ever told, and I think people of all faiths will be offended by this.”

Daniel Webster, a spokesperson for the Evangelical Alliance, said: “Putting a sausage roll in the manger of a nativity scene seems to be manufacturing a scandal to sell baked goods and neglecting the real scandal of Christmas. Every year some company creates a Christmas controversy for commercial gain; it seems to get earlier each year.”

But #NotAllPeople:

The advert also triggered debate on the Greggs Facebook page, though most posts welcomed the product.

The comedian Bob Mortimer tweeted: “Come on KFC … show Greggs the way … put a miniature Jesus in all your Christmas buckets.”

The agony aunt and therapist Philippa Perry joked in a tweet: “ANYWAY who cheated and opened 24th Dec BEFORE 24th Dec to find this out?”

Greggs apologized, saying that they were “really sorry to have caused any offense, this was never our intention,” but they didn’t withdraw the calendar. Good for them! I’d rather worship a sausage roll than Jesus any day. At least sausage rolls are real!

126 Comments

  1. moleatthecounter
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 12:48 pm | Permalink

    ‘And as they were eating, Jesus took the sausage roll, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body. But the cheese pasties are better…’

    KJV, Mathew 26:26

    • Kevin
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 12:59 pm | Permalink

      What he actually said was:

      “Cop ‘old a tha’, me ol’ mate, an stick it in thee gob, That there’s me actual body, but them cheese oggies are reet tastier”

      • moleatthecounter
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:22 pm | Permalink

        That reads like an uncomfortable mix of Yarkshire, Stokie and Cockernee accents!

        • Kevin
          Posted November 15, 2017 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

          That’s about right: not much Cockney: where I am (30 miles north of Stoke), they say ‘mate’ quite a lot. The offending roll comes from the other side of Sheffield:

          “Thee’re wuz ne’er anything good coom out of a pie shop in them parts”

          • John Ottaway
            Posted November 16, 2017 at 4:42 am | Permalink

            Bit yeev no included Scoattish, we dinnae mind a Greggs an aw

            Nain eh that cheese pish mind, just s Scoatch pie or a steak bake fur tha likes eh me

    • Heather Hastie
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 3:52 pm | Permalink

      NOOOOOO! Sausage rolls are better!!!

      • Kevin
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 4:05 pm | Permalink

        They eat them by way of preparation for the afterlife. By comparison an eternity in Hell is chickenfeed.

        • Heather Hastie
          Posted November 15, 2017 at 4:08 pm | Permalink

          The best sausage rolls in the world come from Gear Meat Butchery in Gisborne, NZ (assuming they still exist – I haven’t had one for about 30 years!). Eating one of them is all the heaven I need!

          • Posted November 16, 2017 at 3:27 am | Permalink

            perhaps they would post them to you ! 😉

  2. yazikus
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 12:48 pm | Permalink

    Real, and likely delicious! At least it wasn’t a shai hulud roll. Blasphemy!

    • barn owl
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:11 pm | Permalink

      https://kitchenoverlord.com/dune-week-spice-filled-sandworm/

      Because of course there is such a thing.

      • yazikus
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:20 pm | Permalink

        I’m tempted to make it for thxgiving.

        • barn owl
          Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:24 pm | Permalink

          Me too. The recipe notes are hilarious.

    • Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:07 pm | Permalink

      Believe me, Yazikus and Jerry, if you had tasted a Greggs sausage roll you’d never worship it. Unless you were a Satanist.

      • Posted November 15, 2017 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

        They’re not that bad.

        • David Coxill
          Posted November 16, 2017 at 11:03 am | Permalink

          Agreed ,and while we are on the subject of xmas adverts, Tesco a British supermarket chain (like Walmart but without the warmth and human compassion )have been running a xmas ad for Turkeys with a Muslim family in it .
          They are only on screen for a few seconds .
          A Muslim author wrote in the Independent newspaper about it ,something about Hlala
          turkeys not being available ,not that they were bothered about it .

          It has received about 700+ comments .

  3. Posted November 15, 2017 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

    Can there really be only three wise men in the world, only one manger? Give me a break! It’s not as if they claimed the sausage roll was the Lord’s only begotten son.

    • Tom Besson
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 12:54 pm | Permalink

      Well, Paultopping, if it were a hamburger, you could maybe claim it to be the lord’s only begotten bun.

      • yazikus
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

        +1!

      • Posted November 15, 2017 at 12:57 pm | Permalink

        +1

      • Kevin
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:02 pm | Permalink

        Which raises the question as how Mary got the actual bun in the oven

        • Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

          This of course makes me think of many blasphemous things about celestial sausages, if ‘ya know what i mean [nudge nudge wink wink].

        • Posted November 16, 2017 at 6:15 am | Permalink

          You don’t know? Let me explain

          When a Mummy and a Daddy love each other very much, they get together in a special way…

          tl;dr she had sex.

          • Kevin
            Posted November 16, 2017 at 7:40 am | Permalink

            What Mummy and Daddy?
            What special way?
            What’s sex?

    • Steve Pollard
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 3:15 pm | Permalink

      Apologies, but your comment (and Kevin’s) reminds me of the dreadful old gag:

      Why wasn’t Jesus born in France?

      – Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

      • infiniteimprobabilit
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 5:05 pm | Permalink

        I thought that was an Irish joke. Ah well…

        cr

        • Mark Joseph
          Posted November 15, 2017 at 8:31 pm | Permalink

          I always heard it as Irish, too.

      • Posted November 16, 2017 at 6:16 am | Permalink

        That’s Essex, isn’t it?

      • David Coxill
        Posted November 16, 2017 at 11:08 am | Permalink

        Joseph and Mary were in a stable Relationship.
        Don’t blame me ,it was on the cover of the 1988 xmas issue of Private Eye .

  4. Posted November 15, 2017 at 12:51 pm | Permalink

    a spokesperson for the Evangelical Alliance, said: … “Every year some company creates a Christmas controversy for commercial gain”

    And exactly who is assisting them by ensuring there is a “controversy”?

    • Graham Head
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

      a spokesperson for the Evangelical Alliance, said: … “Every year we find something to complain about to get us in the media”

      • Kevin
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:35 pm | Permalink

        The usual religious attempt to exploit what should be a purely commercial transaction in this season of gluttony and over-spending, namely the sale of an enormous sausage roll to three Persian entrepreneurs.
        Isn’t private enterprise sacred any more. Oy Veh!

    • Ken Phelps
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:42 pm | Permalink

      A slight variant on the “Look, he’s hitting my foot with his ass” gambit.

  5. Vaal
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

    When the world mirrors a Monty Python skit….

    • Geoff Toscano
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:18 pm | Permalink

      It’s not the messiah, it’s a very naughty sausage!

  6. DrBrydon
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 12:57 pm | Permalink

    I love baby Jesus, but I couldn’t eat a whole one. A sausage roll, on the other hand . . . .

  7. Michael Fisher
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:02 pm | Permalink

    Gold, Franken sausage & the wise geezer in the middle – he’s hogging the mustard in that jar!

  8. Randall Schenck
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:05 pm | Permalink

    The only thing wrong with it is one bite already gone.

    • Paul S
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:17 pm | Permalink

      He was Jewish.

      • Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:47 pm | Permalink

        🙂

        • David Coxill
          Posted November 16, 2017 at 11:10 am | Permalink

          A Kosher sausage roll ,now there’s a thing.

      • darrelle
        Posted November 16, 2017 at 7:17 am | Permalink

        It took a minute (or two), but I finally got that.

    • Kevin
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:20 pm | Permalink

      It was the Holy Spirit: as a fully signed up member of the Trinity, he was entitled to his 33.3%.

      • Randall Schenck
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:39 pm | Permalink

        Holy crap… I thought 10% was the deal.

        • Posted November 16, 2017 at 11:31 am | Permalink

          Maybe so. Wasn’t Gilgamesh supposed to be one third god?

  9. Kevin
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

    This all happened about 50 miles from here. If I get peckish, I could nip across fro a visit.
    I could murder a sausage role.

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:40 pm | Permalink

      I could murder a sausage role.

      Beats eating one.
      Actualy, I’m perfectly happy with a sausage roll – even a Greggs’ one. But as the wife described one on her first encounter with British fast food, “This,” [disdainful prod at thing on plate] “is not sausage.” Which I cannot disagree with.

      • Kevin
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 3:00 pm | Permalink

        I agree with you concerning the average fast food type sausage.
        Better types are found however:
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cumberland_sausage
        Should contain chopped meat, not minced.

        • KiwiInOz
          Posted November 15, 2017 at 5:49 pm | Permalink

          You should try Australian sausage rolls. They have more in common with a loaf of bread than anything containing meat.

        • gravelinspector-Aidan
          Posted November 15, 2017 at 5:55 pm | Permalink

          Cumberland Sausage – particularly if you’re doing a full metre-long coil of the inch-thick stuff – isn’t fast food. Unless you like it carbonised on the outside and still bleeding.
          The best I’ve had is from the butchers near the viaduct in Settle – obviously not in Cumberland – but i’m not sure if he makes his own or buys it in. I’ll detour 30+ miles to pick up a couple of coils and have a fat-neck session at Steve’s Greasy Spoon and Caving Equipment Emporium if I’m driving up or down by day.

        • David Coxill
          Posted November 16, 2017 at 11:14 am | Permalink

          Yes Cumberland sausages are nice ,so are Lincolnshire ones .
          When i was in London in the 90’s there was an Irish sausage shop on the south bank of the river ,near the Blackwall tunnel if i remember right ,anyone know if he is still there ?

  10. Pliny the in Between
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:19 pm | Permalink

    Their real concern is probably the sausage part. Sausage traditionally has been a bit of a mystery meat whereas Jesus would only contain the purest ingredients.

    • Kevin
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:54 pm | Permalink

      Meat? Meat? What? In a sausage?
      Lard, cereal, sawdust ground-up teeth and a few bristles there may be, but definitely no meat.
      There’s more meat in a homeopathic hotdog.

    • improbable
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 6:02 pm | Permalink

      I thought the recipe for making Jesus using only Mary was one of the central mysteries!

  11. grasshopper
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:22 pm | Permalink

    Sausage rolls are unclean as they are made with minced pork, but add little spice they are a Saviory treat.

  12. mrclaw69
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:25 pm | Permalink

    In the beginning was the Wurst. And the Wurst was with God. And the Wurst was God…

    • Randall Schenck
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:40 pm | Permalink

      I love the wurst with a good beer.

      • Jenny Haniver
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:53 pm | Permalink

        “Take, eat — for this is my body,” so it goes from the Latin Mass and the Last Supper. But here it’s paedotheophagy, and the Church has a lot to say about that!

        Whatever, better sausage with beer than hosts with wine.

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:43 pm | Permalink

      … and of all the different sausages in all the world (which I’ve sampled – German, Russian, Tanzanian, Polish, Spanish and I think French (though that may have been a horse’s penis) …), British “sausage” is very definitely the Wurst of the Wurst.

      • chrism
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

        Very funny. But a proper Wiltshire banger is pretty decent, and all opposition wilts away if I mention the true, the one, the only…black pudding!

        There. Ecky thump wins again!

        • gravelinspector-Aidan
          Posted November 15, 2017 at 6:01 pm | Permalink

          Ecky Thump (for the trans-Pondians, the Lancastrian martial art of incredible ferocity) is far and away the best use for a black pudding. Beats eating the stuff, by a long chalk. Actually, eating a long chalk beats eating a black pudding.
          Cookery pro-tip – don’t lose control of the car due to stirring the 5-gallon bucket of warm pigs’ blood on the passenger seat when taking it home to make your own black pudding. It upsets the ambulance drivers and police. And makes the carpet sticky and smelly.

  13. Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:43 pm | Permalink

    At least sausage rolls are real!

    This is a British sausage roll so any actual meat content less likely than a virgin birth.

  14. Nicholas K.
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:46 pm | Permalink

    I would support the public display of a sausageroll nativity.

  15. Craw
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:48 pm | Permalink

    I’ve had one. Jesus, are they good.

    • Paul S
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:09 pm | Permalink

      I’ve had one jesus, are they good.
      FIFY

  16. Ray Little
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:53 pm | Permalink

    Is cynicism preferable to malice, or what? If there were any kind of point or principle to this, it might be tolerable, but frankly I put it on the level of farting in someone’s face, a sophisticated deliberate discourtesy that reflects a narcissistic nihilism and even a kind of despair. As well as desperation.
    It’s the kind of thing that your goofball drunk friend does when he’s helping you with the Christmas decorations. You snatch it away before he kids see it and tell him to go home and sober up.

    • Paul S
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

      The point would be that this is a bakery that sells pastries and sausage filled pastries and they used a xmas theme. If we can’t make fun of myths, we’re doomed.

    • darrelle
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

      How dreary. Remind me not to invite you to my Christmas party.

    • noel
      Posted November 16, 2017 at 11:36 pm | Permalink

      I didn’t know Ray Little was a German name

  17. busterggi
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 1:57 pm | Permalink

    ” it’s showing a total disregard and disrespect towards one of the greatest stories ever told”

    Which version? The bible doesn’t agree internally on what the story is.

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:46 pm | Permalink

      Ohhhh, very arch! “Internal disagreements” worked into a sausage roll story.

  18. Frank Bath
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:04 pm | Permalink

    I see this nativity scene time and again on twi**er and it never fails to make me laugh. It has to be pork too. (I never use Greggs).

  19. Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:07 pm | Permalink

    Whats next? Easter gingerbread men with frosting for stigmata?
    Actually, that sounds kind of good.

  20. Jeff Rankin
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:07 pm | Permalink

    I think baby sausage Jesus would go great with a PSL.

  21. jimroberts
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:10 pm | Permalink

    “disrespect towards one of the greatest stories ever told”
    i.e. Matthew’s nativity story. But for real disrespect, look at Luke’s almost entirely contradictory nativity story, written just a decade or two later, rather than Greg’s 200 year late version.

    • jimroberts
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:13 pm | Permalink

      Oops! 2000 year late.

      • Posted November 16, 2017 at 6:27 am | Permalink

        The sausage roll in question may only be 200 years later.

  22. helenahankart
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:11 pm | Permalink

    Proves that god has a sense of humor. Invents pork and then forbids the chosen people from eating it

    • Posted November 15, 2017 at 10:18 pm | Permalink

      And a damn shame, too, because it (pork) is very tasty if properly cooked.

  23. jimroberts
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

    When I visit England, I really like a good sausage roll. But based on this picture, I am crossing Greggs off my list of places to look for one.

  24. Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    Hey, at least a sausage roll actually nourishes people! The whole trip to Egypt and the Three Wise men is a fable made up to supply a back story that was desired by early Christians. (Tell us another story about Jesus and this time make it longer! Well, Children, let me tell you about the baby Jesus … It was a dark and stormy night …))

    • Frank Bath
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:17 pm | Permalink

      I wasn’t told about the Egypt trip.

      • Posted November 16, 2017 at 6:32 am | Permalink

        Mary and Joseph went to Egypt to avoid the slaughter of the innocents after the visit of the wise men.

        Incidentally, the visit of the wise men happened at least ten years before the census for which pregnant-with-Jesus-Mary and Joseph went to Bethlehem.

  25. dogugotw
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

    Hmmm…I always heard it ‘Christ on a Cracker’. Didn’t know he’d branched out to buns.

  26. Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:48 pm | Permalink

    Well, it’s obvious that Jesus is made of stale wafer. Just ask any Catholic!

    Mind you, pork sausage WAS slightly OTT.

    I wonder if they’ll use a hot cross bun for their Easter promotion!

  27. claudia baker
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:49 pm | Permalink

    Paul S – you win the internet today.

  28. gravelinspector-Aidan
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 2:53 pm | Permalink

    It has been said before, but it bears saying again, the Baby Jesus Butt Plug

    Slap him on the dashboard. Use him as the ultimate pacifier or make Baby Jesus the centerpiece of your magnificent Dildo Creche.
    Specifications:
    4 1/2 inches high
    1 1/2 inches diameter
    High quality silicone
    35.00 per Bebe

    They missed a line with the Virgin Mary’s Tears Lubricant.

    • darrelle
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 4:06 pm | Permalink

      And the Mother Teresa special edition. Comes with spikes, genuine porcupine quills.

      • Kevin
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 4:09 pm | Permalink

        I didn’t know that porcupines could write!

      • gravelinspector-Aidan
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 6:29 pm | Permalink

        What you need is one of these, lubricated with the finest of fresh chillies and driven home with … gusto.
        The betting isn’t whether you’ll travel fast, it’s whether you’ll travel faster than your yoke-mate receiving the same treatment.
        Karapan sapi is the name of the “game”, and the … “encouragement” goes under the name of a rekeng.
        Under Rule 34, I’m off to register a domain name and holding page : https://holy.mary.mother.of.christ.chilli-enhanced.lubricant.com/buynow.html Guaranteed first million bucks.

        • Kevin
          Posted November 15, 2017 at 7:50 pm | Permalink

          Is this written in some arcane code to conceal some hidden wisdom? I got a bit lost after “fresh chillies”.

  29. Roger
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 3:14 pm | Permalink

    They should have said they were sorry for offending cannibals but nobody is stopping them from eating Jesus instead of sausage. Haha just kidding Christianity! Don’t get mad at me bros!

  30. alexandra Moffat
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 3:20 pm | Permalink

    The father, the son and the holy sausage?

    That is too funny!

  31. chrism
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 3:21 pm | Permalink

    “…I think people of all faiths will be offended by this.”

    A statement that ought to be untrue if the faithful concerned happen to believe in one of the tens of thousands of religions in which Nazareth holds no special place. But, lo! Behold! The vicar is probably right, as believers of all stripes tend to follow the doctrine of ‘my enemy’s enemy is my friend’ and it doesn’t take them long to see that an atheist is a greater enemy than a fellow believer in some other nonsense. Think about it for a minute or two and you realise it is an admission of the falsehood of all religions when they prefer the company of those they ought to oppose to those who simply decline to play the game.

  32. Taz
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 3:41 pm | Permalink

    “…and neglecting the real scandal of Christmas.”

    ????

  33. Ken Kukec
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 4:08 pm | Permalink

    Seems we heathens have started our annual War on Christmas early this year.

  34. Posted November 15, 2017 at 4:27 pm | Permalink

    Why are people getting upset? The brave man has only designed what was literally written in the New Testament

    John 6:51:
    He who eats of this bread will live forever. And the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. ”

    Meat in the bread = Jesus

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

      Jesus is the meat in the middle? Well, I’m less than surprised – he hung around with plenty of prostitutes, and they charge double-bubble for half the work, so they like it.

      • Kevin
        Posted November 15, 2017 at 8:05 pm | Permalink

        I could take exception to what you are saying here. What are you implying when you use the word “plenty”? Eh?

  35. Posted November 15, 2017 at 4:41 pm | Permalink

    If you say Jesus backwards you get sausage!

    • Kevin
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 8:01 pm | Permalink

      Diane Keaton/Woodie Allen:

      Luna Schlosser: Miles, do you know that “God” spelled backwards is “dog”?

      Miles Monroe: So?

      Luna Schlosser: It makes you think.

    • zytigon
      Posted November 17, 2017 at 11:57 am | Permalink

      Graham, I saw on Facebook that Lord Jesus spelled backwards is Susejd rol. I was looking to see if anyone else mentioned it. Maybe it is more of a mirror image ?

  36. infiniteimprobabilit
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 5:10 pm | Permalink

    Oops. Misread that headline as

    “Baby Jesus’ sausage causes uproar…”

    There must be something Freudian worng with me.

    cr

  37. ashdeville
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 5:27 pm | Permalink

    Well that’s my lunch tomorrow sorted! Thanks jesus!

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 6:43 pm | Permalink

      Such a Host of helpful suggestions.

    • Liz
      Posted November 15, 2017 at 8:02 pm | Permalink

      The chrust has risen.

  38. Kevin
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 6:43 pm | Permalink

    I offer you the following tribute to the mystic union of the sausage (banger) and the potato (mash) as interpreted for our sustenance and well-being by the immortal Peter Sellers(geniale) and Sophia Loren (che bomba).

  39. Mark Joseph
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

    I find it *completely* ridiculous to compare jesus to a sausage roll. For one thing, sausage rolls actually exist.

  40. Conelrad
    Posted November 15, 2017 at 9:44 pm | Permalink

    There was a sausage roll number in the Gilbert & Sullivan operetta The Grand Duke. “We’d all be green as frogs, if not for this makeup.”

  41. A. Lautin
    Posted November 16, 2017 at 1:43 am | Permalink

    I thought it was baloney

  42. Posted November 16, 2017 at 6:50 am | Permalink

    The Streeisand effect will ensure that the calendar will be out of stock by Tuesday. In fact, t’ll be selling like hot cakes.

  43. Steve Pollard
    Posted November 16, 2017 at 6:51 am | Permalink

    The Daily Mash’s take on the controversy:

    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/food/greggs-nativity-jesus-should-have-been-a-steak-bake-says-archbishop-20171116139230

  44. Posted November 16, 2017 at 8:08 am | Permalink

    Is that missing portion of the sausage meant to represent a circumcision?

    • Hempenstein
      Posted November 16, 2017 at 11:04 am | Permalink

      See Paul S’ reply to #8 above.

  45. Posted November 16, 2017 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    Wow, a food only mildly more appetizing than a communion wafer! How appropriate.

  46. Posted November 16, 2017 at 1:14 pm | Permalink

    There was an episode of Top Gear where baby Jesus was replaced with the Stig and I don’t recall anybody making a fuss.

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted November 16, 2017 at 7:11 pm | Permalink

      Top Gear had Jezza on it. (That’s Jeremy Clarkson). The offence quotient of Stig-as-baby-Jesus kinda pales by comparison.

      😉

      cr

  47. Serendipitydawg
    Posted November 17, 2017 at 6:26 pm | Permalink

    Courtesy of the drunks at the Hull Beer Festival on Thursday night comes the explanation of Gregg’s substitution:

    Reverse the letters of lord Jesus to reveal “susej drol” :-O it’s close!

    I have no idea of the source for this, it may be quoted from social media for all I know (no doubt someone on TwitBook can elighten me).

    Also, if this is mentioned above please excuse me, I am far too fragile to read all of the comments before posting this… 7.5% perry and 6.9% cider with strong bitter has a deleterious effect on one’s bodily economy (it was the management’s sugggestion to post it).

  48. Posted November 19, 2017 at 2:58 am | Permalink

    It is a joke. Jokes are a concept beyond the pointlessly angry, as will be highlighted by some fussy eating fruitloop wanting to know why it was a sausage roll not a lentil based alternative.

  49. Stephen Barnard
    Posted November 19, 2017 at 9:45 am | Permalink

    This is the answer to the question: What is the least kosher thing in the world?

  50. Zetopan
    Posted November 20, 2017 at 8:49 pm | Permalink

    “… it’s showing a total disregard and disrespect towards one of the greatest stories ever told …”

    “greatest stories ever told”? Would that be a sophisticated theology euphemism for “the greatest religious lie ever peddled”?

    Fortunately, this idiot reverend clearly states that the non-religious do not have to be offended: “I think people of all faiths will be offended by this”, so at least I’m safe (as though anyone needs this reverend’s permission for anything).

  51. Zetopan
    Posted November 20, 2017 at 8:54 pm | Permalink

    “Can there really be only three wise men in the world”

    Actually, the original text makes it clear that those were three *magi*, which is the Latin plural for magicians. Embarrassed believers then reinterpret “magicians” to really mean “wise men”, an extremely common practice among true believers.

    • Kevin
      Posted November 20, 2017 at 10:07 pm | Permalink

      I understand that the three “Magi” from the East may have been followers of Uhura Mazda from the ancient Persian Zoroastrian religion (as in “Alto Sprach Zarathustra”).
      The word Mazda apparently means “wisdom” and I suppose may be the origin of the word “magic”
      and may also account for the epithet “wise man” or Magi.
      The dualism that persisted into European Christianity as far as the Cathar period of the last crusade, may have derived from earlier contamination with Zoroastrianism, which still persists in the modern world as the Parsee religion (mostly in India).
      Other ideas from this religion may have derived from this religion: the virgin birth of Mithras (who was a god assimilated by the Romans), the demiurge (as the fallen archangel) etc.

      I have no idea if they liked sausage rolls.

      • Kevin
        Posted November 20, 2017 at 10:15 pm | Permalink

        Other ideas from this religion may have derived from this religion

        meant:

        Other ideas in Christianity may have derived from this religion


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