A must-have kitchen tool

On my post about the proper eating of Weetabix, reader Vaal brought to our attention a remarkable product, only $5.33 on Amazon! (Click on screenshot to go to the product.)

Actually, it doesn’t work that well, and you can imagine why. Here’s a fake video about the product, but the guy has also made a fake informercial about it:

What I like about this is that it is one of those Amazon products where the reviewers go full-on funny in their reviews.

43 Comments

  1. busterggi
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 3:41 pm | Permalink

    Did Ray Comfort invent this?

    • Posted November 3, 2017 at 3:46 pm | Permalink

      Ha! You beat me to it… 

      I was going to post, “What would Ray Comfort say?”

      /@

      • busterggi
        Posted November 3, 2017 at 3:49 pm | Permalink

        You can still post that.

      • Torbjörn Larsson
        Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:51 pm | Permalink

        Comfort foods: fits your moods, fits* your hand and fits your slicer.

        They are a miracle!

        *Originally came out onto the edit box as “fist”. Oy!

    • Ken Kukec
      Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

      You didn’t hear? Ray Comfort merged with Ron Popeil; this is the product of their combined efforts.

      If the Almighty really had designed bananas, wouldn’t they already come in bite-sized portions, like grapes?

    • ThyroidPlanet
      Posted November 3, 2017 at 6:12 pm | Permalink

      [checks for Ray C. joke ]
      [success]

    • Serendipitydawg
      Posted November 5, 2017 at 2:10 pm | Permalink

      According to this:

      I’m Ray Comfort, and I approve this message! 🙂

  2. Andy Lowry
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 3:54 pm | Permalink

    If you’re ever feeling down, search Amazon for the “BIC Pen for Her” and read through the reviews. Your day will brighten and your faith in humanity will be restored.

    • yazikus
      Posted November 3, 2017 at 7:52 pm | Permalink

      Those were so good. When I saw the pen in a store afterwards, I had to have some. Turns out, they were pretty nice pens. The kiddo called them our ‘lady-pens’, and we all fought over them.

  3. Randall Schenck
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 3:55 pm | Permalink

    This would something for Ronco, sold on TV only. Cannot buy it in stores because then you could take it back.

    • busterggi
      Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

      hey now, I still have a working Veg-o-matic!

      • Randall Schenck
        Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:07 pm | Permalink

        It slices and dices. I like the spray on rubber to stop leaks in the roof.

    • Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

      It’s not uncommon in kitchen shops in the UK.

      /@

  4. GBJames
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:00 pm | Permalink

    LOL. Thanks for ending my week on a good belly laugh!

  5. grasshopper
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

    It is not long enough to slice a bananana.

    • busterggi
      Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

      Trump bananas.

    • Ken Kukec
      Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:10 pm | Permalink

      But did it lead to the split-up of the Brit pop group Bananarama?

      • BJ
        Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:46 pm | Permalink

        Oddly enough, it led to the split-up of Wham!.

        Technically, one could say that a “banana” led to George Michaels’ troubles in Beverly Hills…

  6. Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    BA-NA-NAAA!

    /Kevin

  7. Frank Bath
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:19 pm | Permalink

    And then you’ve got to wash, and scrub, and dry it. A knife you lick.

    • grasshopper
      Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:33 pm | Permalink

      You speak with forked tongue!

  8. BJ
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 4:44 pm | Permalink

    All of the reviews are funny, but the second one by Mrs. Toledo is just hilarious. I laughed multiple times.

    The sad thing is, I’ll bet people are buying this, just like all the other silly things on infomercials.

  9. Michael Fisher
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 5:07 pm | Permalink

    Troll someone – give ’em an unpeeled banana that turns out to be sliced inside – requires a needle [or needle & thread for a neat result]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prU96UpekA8

  10. jrhs
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 6:15 pm | Permalink

    LOL.

    When I was little, I used to break a banana in half and then split each half into three distinct sections. With hands. It often took me longer than expected to finish a banana. 6 pieces of banana. Just the way I liked it. It drove my older brother bananas.

    Banana slicer. How lazy can we get. 🙂

    • Richard
      Posted November 4, 2017 at 3:11 am | Permalink

      With your bare hands? Your Kung Fu is mighty!

  11. yazikus
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 7:53 pm | Permalink

    Williams Sonoma is my go-to Ridiculous Kitchen Implement amusement source in general. They have more expensive, specialty, one use only items than you could imagine.

  12. infiniteimprobabilit
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 7:57 pm | Permalink

    You can tell he’s British because he uses ‘bloody’ and ‘hell’ and ‘f*cking’ 😉

    (aside from the accent, that is)

    But his spoof infomercial is bloody hilarious. PCC already linked it but I’ll link it again
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMZZYYJEuPY

    ‘cos I often miss links when PCC puts them in the text.

    All infomercials should be mercilessly pilloried to death, in my jaundiced view.

    cr

  13. Posted November 3, 2017 at 9:48 pm | Permalink

    Did anybody else looking at the page also check out the “People who viewed this also viewed” section?

    I did and I saw this. Unfortunately, I can’t unsee it now.

    The link is safe for work btw.

  14. BJ
    Posted November 3, 2017 at 10:06 pm | Permalink

    If anyone has suggestions of any other Amazon products that are known for their funny reviews, be they books, movies, trinkets, or anything else, please post them!

  15. Posted November 3, 2017 at 10:25 pm | Permalink

    The “Customer Questions and Answers” section is even funnier than the reviews!! Warning–there are 678 of them, almost all hilarious.

  16. Posted November 4, 2017 at 6:04 am | Permalink

    I think I may order one of those banana slicers for a gag gift to give a friend.

  17. Posted November 4, 2017 at 2:43 pm | Permalink

    I have a friend who confused the phrase “banana slicer’ with “banana hammock”. Now he can’t have children.

  18. Posted November 4, 2017 at 8:39 pm | Permalink

    I have a vague recollection of posting a review there years ago which noted that the product does not work in the Southern Hemisphere where bananas bend the other way.

  19. nicky
    Posted November 5, 2017 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    My ouma (‘granny’ in American) had an egg slicer, metal with a moving frame with thin parallel metal wires. She used to add sliced egg to most of her salads. The egg slicer has disappeared.
    Since bananas are so easy to slice, I somehow think this implement will be not be long-lived either.

    On second thoughts, maybe that disappearance of the egg slicer was due to the ‘war on cholesterol’, where eggs were unjustly maligned. Unjustly because the cholesterol levels in blood (weather ‘heavy’ or ‘light’) have little to do with your cholesterol intake. Maybe we’ll see a come-back of the egg slicer?


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