I get spam

Every day I get dozens and dozens of spam comments, which, fortunately, WordPress has an algorithm for dumping. Virtually all of them are made by people trying to comment simply as a way tout their website—usually one that sells something. I pulled out this comment, by “Stefani”, to show you how devious but funny their attempts to make a “genuine” comment can be. (They often pretend to ask questions or compliment the website.)

Stefani was selling a website design service. The comments often are aimed at photo pages or posts wildly inappropriate for their services; this one was aimed at my post “Pandas falling all over the place!

I wish to show some appreciation to you for bailing me out of this problem. Right after surfing around through the the net and finding strategies which were not pleasant, I was thinking my entire life was done. Living minus the answers to the issues you’ve solved by means of your main review is a critical case, and the ones which may have adversely damaged my entire career if I had not noticed your website. Your main natural talent and kindness in touching all things was helpful. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had not come upon such a stuff like this. It’s possible to at this moment relish my future. Thanks for your time very much for the reliable and sensible guide. I won’t hesitate to suggest your web sites to any individual who ought to have guidance about this subject.

I’m so blessed that my post on pandas saved this person’s future!

Here are two more that came this morning. This one, from “123”, was aimed at the post “A loveless left-handed snail can’t find a mate“:

Hey there, You’ve done a great job. I will definitely
digg it and personally suggest to my friends.
I’m confident they will be benefited from this web site.

Here’s another website developer (“Yong”) hoping to flatter me into posting his comment by linking to his/her site. It was aimed at the post “Jesus ‘n’ Mo ‘n’ bigotry“. Lots of spam is along these lines:

Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

And from a Regressive Leftist named Jen trying to chew me out while commenting on the post “Huffington Post clarifies Oppression Hierarchy by incisive analysis of cultural appropriation (dreadlocks versus Chinese tattoos)“:

I don’t particularly like when people who don’t know what cultural appropriation is, write an entire article about it. This was a painful read. Please do your research beforehand.

Such pain she must have endured! Sadly, she didn’t enact the emotional labor to tell me what cultural appropriation really is.


  1. BobTerrace
    Posted October 15, 2017 at 9:09 am | Permalink

    I bet you wish all your spam was as mild as these. Some of yesterday’s comments were even more annoying (to me) than these.

  2. Mobius
    Posted October 15, 2017 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    Spam, spam, spam, spam
    Spam, spam, spam, spam
    Lovely spam, wonderful spam.

  3. Ken Phelps
    Posted October 15, 2017 at 9:28 am | Permalink

    “…what cultural appropriation really is.”

    It does seem to be rather flexibly conceived. As near as I can figure, it’s an entirely arbitrary linguistic construct meant to convey disapproval. Despite having a nominal connection to reality, it is only applied selectively and retrospectively. In other words, after an individual or idea or institution has been declared ungood, cultural appropriation is just one of several epithets that can be tossed out for emotional effect, removing the need to actually consider the complexities of reality.

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted October 15, 2017 at 4:20 pm | Permalink

      Making the ungood double plus ungood…


  4. Randy schenck
    Posted October 15, 2017 at 9:53 am | Permalink

    I’ll bet if you really scan all of this spam you will find some Russian attempts to add. They have been discovered now to be very active on facebook and tweeter, assisting the buffoon in chief on all fronts.

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted October 15, 2017 at 4:25 pm | Permalink

      All the Russian spam I get is from young ladies wishing to make my acquaintance.

      Makes a change from all the offers of v**g*a and other ways to improve my, err, size and performance, and the emails from ‘Micr*s*ft’ telling me they have detected a bug in my Windows (which I don’t run…) and various banks warning me of problems with my accounts (that I don’t have with them).


      • Posted October 15, 2017 at 4:40 pm | Permalink

        Gee, I get all those, too! The beauty of using initials in your name instead of my name associated with the female sex or another.

    • Heather Hastie
      Posted October 15, 2017 at 7:20 pm | Permalink

      Yes, some of the spam is in what I assume is Russian on my website. Cyrillic letters anyway. Some is in characters too – Korean, Japanese, Chinese.

      The “you’ve solved my problems” ones are common.

      So are ones that tell you how brilliant you are, and what a talented writer you are etc etc. I assume they must work on some people who we wouldn’t get so many of them.

      Lots are selling male performance drugs.

      Many are selling $ex sites, and are quite graphic about the sort of $ex you can find on their site.

      Quite a few are selling American football jerseys!

      It’s really annoying because even though the spam filter pulls them out, you still have to delete them manually.

  5. Mark Sturtevant
    Posted October 15, 2017 at 10:29 am | Permalink

    Most cultural appropriations go unpunished, even when they are in blatant violation of the Oppression Hierarchy. White people can enjoy and play jazz, the blues, and even more recent forms of art like rap (although white rappers do get some flak). Why is that?

    • Diane G.
      Posted October 15, 2017 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

      Shh! They just haven’t caught up, yet!

  6. dabertini
    Posted October 15, 2017 at 11:09 am | Permalink

    I think you need a special algorithm just to determine just what that first comment means. Personally i would use the rosetta stone.

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted October 15, 2017 at 11:32 am | Permalink

      The Rosetta Stone doesn’t include this language, I think.

      • dabertini
        Posted October 15, 2017 at 11:59 am | Permalink

        I dunno, but you may be right.

        • gravelinspector-Aidan
          Posted October 17, 2017 at 11:38 am | Permalink

          It’s a well known trick question. The Rosetta Stone has three scripts – hieroglyphic, Demotic and Greek – but only two languages – Greek and Egyptian. Because the rulers (Ptolemy Dynasty, IIRC Pt-3) spoke Greek and the ruled spoke Egyptian.

  7. Roger
    Posted October 15, 2017 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    Hello people typing words. These are very good words. The best typing that I have ever seen. I totally read all of these words that are typed about the great things they are typed about.

    • Taz
      Posted October 15, 2017 at 1:08 pm | Permalink

      I just wanted to say what a great comment this is. Of all the comments I’ve read today, this is the best.

    • Blue
      Posted October 15, 2017 at 8:27 pm | Permalink

      funny.funny. … …, Mr Roger !
      & O, did I mention the word … … funny ?!


    • Diane G.
      Posted October 15, 2017 at 9:15 pm | Permalink

      😀 Hey, you should run for office!

  8. Diana MacPherson
    Posted October 15, 2017 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

    I suspect most of these spam attempts are bots.

  9. Ann German
    Posted October 15, 2017 at 3:54 pm | Permalink

    I, for one, want to say that I have been benefited from this web site.

  10. Posted October 15, 2017 at 3:59 pm | Permalink

    “Sadly, she didn’t enact the emotional labor to tell me what cultural appropriation really is.”

    Sadly? At some point, I’d think you’d be relived. I doubt it would have been interesting enough even to mock!

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