Honey came back yet again

My duck Honey is clearly messing with me. After a full day’s absence, in which I convinced myself that she was gone and tried to accept it, she reappeared at lunchtime yesterday. We communed at length at lunch and teatime, and much corn and many mealworms were consumed, but this roller-coaster of emotions is unsettling me. When a friend pointed out that Honey seemed to be my “girlfriend”, I wrote a short ditty:

You’re plumb out of luck
When your girlfriend’s a duck,
For you haven’t been granted your wish.
There isn’t much thrill
In kissing a bill,
And her feathers smell faintly of fish.

But I love her dearly. Here she is from yesterday (note the big flight feathers: she’s good to go):

I just went downstairs to give her breakfast. She’s gone again. . .

27 Comments

  1. gravelinspector-Aidan
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 7:36 am | Permalink

    To be honest, ProfCC(E), I don’t think she’s “messing with you”. It sounds like she’s conflicted between a drive to migrate, and confidence in a food source.
    Duck behaviour experts may well have other opinions, but I suspect that you’re going to have to apply a degree of “tough love” and close the cupboard door.

    • Posted August 23, 2017 at 8:39 am | Permalink

      Yup–if you love her, let her go.

      • gravelinspector-Aidan
        Posted August 23, 2017 at 8:58 am | Permalink

        Not just “let her go”, but close the cupboard door.
        I know it’s harsh. But (subject to comment from duck-behaviour experts – which do not purport to be), I suspect it’s the “right thing” to do.

        • Posted August 23, 2017 at 10:20 am | Permalink

          That will happen when I go to Poland in about ten days. No more food, and nobody appointed to feed her.

          • gravelinspector-Aidan
            Posted August 23, 2017 at 11:18 am | Permalink

            Poor Honey.
            But you know it’s inevitable. Empty nest, etc.

          • Posted August 24, 2017 at 5:36 am | Permalink

            When you return, get a kitten, already!

  2. Randy schenck
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 7:38 am | Permalink

    Please report in if anyone sees PCC purchasing ultralight aircraft.

  3. Liz
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 7:39 am | Permalink

    Giving Stephen Stills a run for his money. It’s lovely.

    • Ken Kukec
      Posted August 23, 2017 at 4:04 pm | Permalink

      Yeah, but just wait till Jerry decamps for Poland, and Honey goes all “Love the One Your With”.

  4. bbenzon
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 7:39 am | Permalink

    The Devil made me do it.

    A quick search of the web tubes turned up a script of the classic Marx Brothers routine in which they ponder – rather, I’d imagine, in the manner of Ms. Hili – the age-old question: Why a Duck? Here’s the crucial section (Groucho as Hammer):

    Hammer: (pause) Well, we’ll Passover that…You’re a peach, boy. Now, here is a little peninsula, and, eh, here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.

    Chico: Why a duck?

    Hammer: I’m alright, how are you? I say, here is a little peninsula, and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.

    Chico: Alright, why a duck?

    Hammer: (pause) I’m not playing “Ask Me Another,” I say that’s a viaduct.

    Chico: Alright! Why a duck? Why that…why a duck? Why a no chicken?

    Hammer: Well, I don’t know why a no chicken; I’m a stranger here myself. All I know is that it’s a viaduct. You try to cross over there a chicken and you’ll find out why a duck.

    Chico: When I go someplace I just…

    Hammer: (interrupts) It’s…It’s deep water, that’s why a duck. It’s deep water.

    Chico: That’s why a duck…

    Hammer: Look…look, suppose you were out horseback riding and you came to that stream and you wanted to ford over…You couldn’t make it, it’s too deep!

    Chico: Well, why do you want with a Ford if you gotta horse?

    Hammer: Well, I’m sorry the matter ever came up. All I know is that it’s a viaduct.

    Chico: Now look, alright, I catch ona why a horse, why a chicken, why a this, why a that…I no catch ona why a duck.

    Hammer: I was only fooling…I was only fooling. They’re gonna build a tunnel there in the morning. Now is that clear to you?

    Chico: Yes, everything excepta why a duck.

    Hammer: Well, that’s fine…then we can go ahead with this thing.

    Here’s a YouTube clip:

    • busterggi
      Posted August 23, 2017 at 10:31 am | Permalink

      That was a soupy post.

  5. ladyatheist
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 7:53 am | Permalink

    Is that a koi fish photobombing in the foreground? Perhaps you should befriend the koi instead. They aren’t going anywhere!

  6. David Duncan
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 8:04 am | Permalink

    “I just went downstairs to give her breakfast. She’s gone again. . .”

    ‘Alone again, naturally.’

  7. Posted August 23, 2017 at 8:13 am | Permalink

    Female ducks are so fickle…here one minute, gone the next. 😉
    Just enjoying your duck stories soooo much since I’m so in love with duckies!

  8. Hempenstein
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 8:43 am | Permalink

    She’s conflicted. Her instincts say go. She goes, and then her stomach says go back!

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted August 23, 2017 at 11:26 am | Permalink

      My reading too.

  9. busterggi
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 10:32 am | Permalink

    • Larry Smith
      Posted August 23, 2017 at 10:37 am | Permalink

      Or Moby’s song “Honey”: “If my honey come back, sometime…”

    • Heather Hastie
      Posted August 23, 2017 at 3:41 pm | Permalink

      Bobby Goldsboro singing Honey – I don’t think I’ve ever been able to get through that without crying.

      • busterggi
        Posted August 23, 2017 at 3:44 pm | Permalink

        That’s why I haven’t brought it up before, I can’t either.

      • Posted August 24, 2017 at 5:45 am | Permalink

        Now I’m a wreck… Could do without the “angels” bit, though.

  10. Torbjörn Larsson
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 11:28 am | Permalink

    I am reminded of the war meme:

    Duck and cover
    – Honey growing her flight feathers back.

    Duck and (it’s) over
    – Jerry’s walks and his flighty bird.

  11. Posted August 23, 2017 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

    A friend of mine (named “Raven”) from years ago explained that to be birdy (and she was, in this way and others) was to be “productively indecisive”.

  12. Filippo
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 2:23 pm | Permalink

    “But I love her dearly.”

    “The Moving Finger writes, and having writ . . . Take the Cash,
    And let the Credit go.”

    – Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

    I’m a fine one to presume to so quote.

  13. Michael Scullin
    Posted August 23, 2017 at 4:20 pm | Permalink

    Shades of Ogden Nash.

  14. Posted August 23, 2017 at 4:48 pm | Permalink

    Love your poem.

    Shouldn’t tell you this, but in the days of the dinosaurs when I was in high school, I and most of my friends were extremely naive (being Evangelical Christians). One of the girls was enamored of a boy named Chuck. At one point she was saying his name over and over and rhyming it. She came up with: “Chucky lucky f**cky ducky.” She had absolutely no idea of what she’d said. I guess her cousin and I weren’t quite as unknowing (at least of language) as we couldn’t help laughing.

  15. Bob Barber
    Posted August 24, 2017 at 7:38 am | Permalink

    The earlier posting on poetry and PCC’s poetic effort about Honey reminded me of one of the few poets and poems I really understood.

    The Hunter
    by Ogden Nash

    The hunter crouches in his blind
    ‘Neath camouflage of every kind
    And conjures up a quacking noise
    To lend allure to his decoys
    This grown-up man, with pluck and luck
    is hoping to outwit a duck


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