Criminal squirrel gang purloins chocolate bars in Toronto

I am feeling better, thank you, and we’re up to 48,939 subscribers, so my bucket list goal of 50,000 seems within reach. Let’s celebrate with two things everyone loves (except miscreants): chocolate and squirrels.

In January the CBC News reported that a squirrel, or more likely a maurading gang of mixed race squirrels (black and gray) are entering a Toronto shop and making off with candy bars:

In a Reddit Toronto thread first posted this fall, the store’s owner says the shop doors typically stay open because it gets “stuffy and hot” inside. And, for more than seven years, it’s never led to problems.

“Until the squirrel started showing up,” the owner wrote.

And there’s more: The owner later learned the thefts — at least six so far — could be the work of an entire ring of furry thieves, or at least two critters. “A black one (or more) and a light brown/grey one (or more),” the owner wrote.

But there’s hope!

The two, three, or more furry criminals — it’s not totally clear — have now been caught on camera swiping candy bars from a bottom shelf.

In one video titled “Crunchie Caper,” posted on Wednesday, a squirrel sneaks into the store, snags a Crunchie bar, and dashes outside — then scampers across the street.

Here’s a video of the crime:

Now I love Crunchie bars, which aren’t available in the U.S.: they have a honeycomb center coated with chocolate:


But if I were a squirrel I’d go for the best candy I’ve had from Canada, the famous Coffee Crisp, which has layers of wafer separated by coffee-flavored cream, all coated with milk chocolate. Sadly, I’ve seen neither of these bars in the U.S., but a kind Canadian once sent me the latter:

Coffee Crisp

But I suppose a squirrel’s gotta take what it can get. As for leaving the door open, people have suggested putting in a screen door, but what fun would that be? (Besides, the squirrels could gnaw a hole in it.)

 

 

 

h/t: Taskin

62 Comments

  1. Heather Hastie
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 2:50 pm | Permalink

    No egg cups, no electric jugs, and now no crunchie bars? I think I’ve discovered why you all shoot each other continuously.

    • ploubere
      Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:30 pm | Permalink

      We have Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. We’re fine.

      • Heather Hastie
        Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:40 pm | Permalink

        That’s something we don’t have and should. I’ve only seen the chocolate/peanut butter combo at tiny private chocolatiers here. It’s delicious! I wish we had more chocolate/coffee combos too. Jerry’s coffee crisp combo sounds delicious.

        • BJ
          Posted July 11, 2017 at 8:39 pm | Permalink

          You don’t have Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?!? Does that mean you don’t have Reese’s Pieces either? And I thought I wanted to visit NZ. You should just lie about these things if you want to support your country’s tourism industry!

          Well, now we know why you all *ahem* each other’s farm animals continuously 😛

          • Heather Hastie
            Posted July 12, 2017 at 8:24 am | Permalink

            I’ve never even heard of Reese’s!

            It’s an old joke here – the South Island: where men are men are sheep are nervous. I’ve only ever heard of it actually happening once, though it was in the South Island.

    • Randy schenck
      Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:33 pm | Permalink

      Oh, that’s a good one. We do have kit kats. We continuously shoot each other because we are lousy with guns and stupid.

      • Heather Hastie
        Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:47 pm | Permalink

        I’ve been thinking. (Always a worry.) If what is happening in the US was happening in a parliamentary democracy, there’d be a snap (new) election. I think there should be a new presidential election with Hillary vs Trump, like a French run-off election, and that decides things. Perhaps have it in combination with the 2018 elections, and make it for only a two year term. If Trump wins, so be it. If not, everyone accepts that too.

        • Heather Hastie
          Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:51 pm | Permalink

          I meant to say then all the liberals who want to retire from SCOTUS could, and they could be replaced by liberals. And when older conservative judges go, the 2006 right to carry decision could be overturned.

          • Randy schenck
            Posted July 11, 2017 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

            I’m thinking you may not have to wait long for the demise of super brain Trump. However, I’m not too sure if his lying VP will make it to replace him.

            • Heather Hastie
              Posted July 11, 2017 at 4:47 pm | Permalink

              That’s what worries me. In your system, the VP takes over obviously, and he’s not much better. He’s more reliable, and safer, but he’s a religious extremist. He’s got this mild-mannered exterior, but he won’t budge when it comes to his interpretation of the Bible.

              • Randy schenck
                Posted July 11, 2017 at 5:02 pm | Permalink

                Right now the G20 has become the G19. Trump is the joke of the civilized world and we are the ones who put him there. Trump’s son and son in law have made the truth of this treason pretty clear now and we just need to finish up around the edges and this administration will be toast. Puttin wanted his lady lawyer to get sanctions lifted and the bate was shoveling dirt to the Trump Campaign. I would recommend MSNBC and CNN to keep up while the New York Times does most of the heavy work on this.

              • Heather Hastie
                Posted July 12, 2017 at 8:11 am | Permalink

                I’ve been watching CNN. You can’t get MSNBC in NZ.

              • Boris Badenoff
                Posted July 11, 2017 at 8:17 pm | Permalink

                You are so right.

              • BJ
                Posted July 11, 2017 at 8:41 pm | Permalink

                Hey, we already had a president in the 2000’s who made decisions based on what he thought his Christian god wanted, and he didn’t turn out to be so bad.

                Oh, wait…

  2. GBJames
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 2:52 pm | Permalink

    I wonder what chocolate covered miscreants would be like.

  3. busterggi
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 2:53 pm | Permalink

    My raccoon has a taste for Pearson Nut Rolls. She stole a bag of them from my kitchen over a month ago and keeps looking for more.

  4. Posted July 11, 2017 at 2:54 pm | Permalink

    Now I love Crunchie bars, which aren’t available in the U.S.

    This makes me sad.

    According to Wikipedia:

    In 2003, a short-lived bourbon Crunchie was launched in test markets across the Nashville, Tennessee area in partnership with 7-Eleven. The bourbon Crunchie was not well received because of a boycott initiated by western factions of the Southern Baptist Coalition and production was subsequently discontinued.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crunchie

    WTF?!?

    • Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:02 pm | Permalink

      I can’t find any reference to this boycott online that doesn’t use precisely the same wording as the Wikipedia article.

    • darrelle
      Posted July 11, 2017 at 4:35 pm | Permalink

      Yet more evidence that religion poisons everything.

    • Posted July 12, 2017 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

      That sounds like a driveby-defacement. *Bourbon* Crunchie? As if.

  5. Posted July 11, 2017 at 2:56 pm | Permalink

    Supposedly Coffee Crisp was available in the US for a few years in the late 2000s. I’m a a loss to understand why Americans didn’t take to them.

    • Rita
      Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:13 pm | Permalink

      I think the post above by Speaker To Animals may provide some insight: it seems to me that Marketing people are long on new ideas (dreamed up or “borrowed from elsewhere) but short on analysis. Most of us here would probably look at the bourbon Crunchie result in Tennessee, and think “let’s try Crunchie without the bourbon flavor, or maybe try in a different area”. But, by that time the Marketing people have moved on to the next idea.

  6. Randy schenck
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:01 pm | Permalink

    Ah, stealing candy bars. Takes me back to those juvenile delinquent days. Also when candy bars were a dime but whose paying.

  7. Ken Phelps
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:03 pm | Permalink

    Damn lucky for the squirrel he lives north of the border, otherwise he’d have a butt full of lead.

  8. jeremy
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:05 pm | Permalink

    Tunnocks caramel wafers from the UK and Violet Crumble from Australia. I find the Crunchie over-sweet whilst Violet Crumble is more classic honeycomb. Tunnocks is the original and best. Just in case any squirrels are reading this.

    • Michael Fisher
      Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:52 pm | Permalink

      @Jeremy

      I agree re over-sweetness
      Tunnock’s has a dark chocolate coated caramel wafer biscuit too – for the especially discerning squirrel

  9. Michael Fisher
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:40 pm | Permalink

    Your local Cadbury’s Crunchie dealer
    Open seven days a week or order online!
    http://www.amyscandybar.com/core/about.html

    Here’s her “international” section:
    http://www.amyscandybar.com/candy/international/

    amy’s candy bar
    4704 North Damen Ave.
    Chicago, Illinois 60625

    • darrelle
      Posted July 11, 2017 at 4:45 pm | Permalink

      Looking on Amazon.com I’ve found that everything mentioned so far on this thread, even the Violet Crumble from Australia and the dark chocolate Tunnock’s, are available to me in the US. Some of them with free shipping!

      • Diana MacPherson
        Posted July 11, 2017 at 5:45 pm | Permalink

        I love Violet Crumble. When anyone goes to Australia, I request it. I like it better than Crunchie at least better than Canadian Crunchie. We accept a lot of garbage in our candy bars in NA.

        I once left Sydney with a whole bag of candies as carry on. It amused the customs folks in NZ.

        “What’s in the bag?”

        “Candies”.

        • darrelle
          Posted July 11, 2017 at 6:09 pm | Permalink

          I’ m not much for candy bars in general, too sweet, but I think I’m going to have to hit the “buy now” button on the Violet Crumble. You’ve convinced me!

          • Diana MacPherson
            Posted July 11, 2017 at 7:14 pm | Permalink

            You won’t be disappointed!

  10. chrism
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

    Crunchie lovers who can’t find them might source cinder toffee pieces in places like Bulk Barn. I believe them to be Crunchies whose mothers took thalidomide.

    The real tragedy is that Cadbury’s Flake isn’t sold in Canada. I have to send my wife to the UK several times a year to bring some back.

    • James Walker
      Posted July 11, 2017 at 5:55 pm | Permalink

      There are some stores that specialize in UK products (in Toronto, at least) that sell it – at a much higher price than you’d pay in the UK, of course.

      • Jan looman
        Posted July 11, 2017 at 7:28 pm | Permalink

        I’ve also found them here in Kingston, ON. At Cookes coffee.

  11. Ed
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 4:04 pm | Permalink

    Maybe the culprits are also involved in the Great University of Chicago nut theft.

  12. Diana MacPherson
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 4:10 pm | Permalink

    Coffee Crisp is one of my favourite chocolate bars. Whenever I say the name, I remember this commercial from the 90s.

    Oh, you don’t know from joke!

    • Art
      Posted July 11, 2017 at 4:30 pm | Permalink

      Used to be able to get them in Buffalo when I lived there years ago. Great candy bar!

  13. infiniteimprobabilit
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 4:39 pm | Permalink

    All that sugar content is going to be murder on the squirrel’s choppers. Can he be tempted to steal some tubes of toothpaste too?

    cr

  14. claudia baker
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 5:47 pm | Permalink

    A chocolate bar that we can’t get in Canada is the Heath Bar. My favourite by far. Much like a Skor Bar, but better. Once I brought home a huge box of them in my suitcase from California. They didn’t last long, alas…

  15. jorginator
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 6:30 pm | Permalink

    You probably already _have_ 50000 subscribers if you count those of us who use the RSS feed!

    Unfortunately, the size of the RSS Feed user population is difficult to even estimate…. But I’m not going to subscribe, as I would then end up with both email and RSS!

  16. DrBeydon
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 7:45 pm | Permalink

    Doesn’t chocolate make squirrels sick, like dogs and cats?

  17. Barbara Radcliffe
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 8:22 pm | Permalink

    I commented a little while ago that squirrrels have not been introduced to Australia. However I have now learned that this was incorrect. It seems that the Indian three-striped palm squirrel escaped from the Perth Zoo and colonised part of Perth. It is alleged that theis population has now been controlled (exterminated — sorry Jerry!), so we are probably again squirrel-less.

  18. Posted July 11, 2017 at 8:48 pm | Permalink

    WOuldn’t it be fun if the store owner put down some spoonsful of Martmite or Vegemite right there, and see if there are any takers? If Squirrel won’t eat it, should we? 🙂

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted July 11, 2017 at 9:57 pm | Permalink

      The answer is no. No one should ever eat Marmite or Vegemite.

      • ploubere
        Posted July 11, 2017 at 10:02 pm | Permalink

        Correct.

  19. Benjay
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 9:16 pm | Permalink

    Big Turk. Cherry Blossom is a good one as well.

    • Colin McLachlan
      Posted July 12, 2017 at 6:01 am | Permalink

      Strange tastes – we use Cherry Blossom to polish our shoes in the UK. Still, à chacun son goût.

      • Benjay
        Posted July 12, 2017 at 8:24 am | Permalink

        So long as you don’t eat it. You still are wearing shoes. The Empire will endure. This is an English comment.

        • Colin McLachlan
          Posted July 12, 2017 at 10:23 am | Permalink

          Sadly, what I wear on my feet are similar to what used to be known as “brothel creepers” – I just love that term – so don’t need polish. Thus falls the Empire.

  20. rickflick
    Posted July 11, 2017 at 9:39 pm | Permalink

    Growing up in Weston in Toronto, candy for us kids was a walk to Jimmie’s store a few blocks away. We’d get Coffee Crisp and Mackintosh’s toffee. Also, bubble gum which came with hockey cards. Whenever I visit Canada(not often enough), I always stop and get some of these goodies.

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted July 11, 2017 at 9:59 pm | Permalink

      Even the groß hockey card gum? I was a geek and bad Canadian so I used to buy Star Wars cards. I think they are in my parents’ attic. Those might be worth something now.

      • Diana MacPherson
        Posted July 11, 2017 at 9:59 pm | Permalink

        I don’t know how the German S got in there. My iPad decided not to speak English. “Gross”

        • rickflick
          Posted July 11, 2017 at 10:34 pm | Permalink

          I Googled it and Google didn’t complain.

  21. Fernando Peregrin
    Posted July 12, 2017 at 3:35 am | Permalink

    Off topic

    Quo vadis Catalonia?

    Manifesto
    (Please disseminate)

    In 1990, Jordi Pujol’s 2,000th Program was leaked, where nationalist infiltration was carefully planned in all social fields in order to fulfill what Pujol had proclaimed in 1979: “Our goal – my party’s at least – is the reconstruction of the country, “according to the nationalist patron who lodged in his head after the readings of the German Romantics, whose ideas destroyed Europe in two bloody world wars. The 2000 program ordered what should be done in universities:

    “Elaboration of a plan of permanent training and retraining of teachers that takes into account the national interests. (…) Catalanization of teaching programs. (…) Stimulating the Catalan national feeling of students and teachers (…) Empowerment of the Catalan Association of ‘Profesores Universitarios’, as well as nationalist student associations. (…) To promote personalities of nationalist ideology in the governing bodies of the three Catalan universities. (…) Ensure the composition of the Tenure Appointment courts “.

    Since 2000, the Generalitat de Catalunya has been leading a Coup d’Etat to amputate Catalunya from Spain, which has always been Spaniard. with the complicity, passivity and silence of Madrid for 40 years

    Today the 2,000 Program has fulfilled all its objectives and the Generalitat de Catalunya leads a Coup d’Etat to amputate its usual Spainish. with the complicity, passivity and silence of Madrid for 40 years

    The exclusive digital newspaper ElCatalán.es has the exclusive:

    “Tomorrow the Governing Council of the University of Barcelona is going to vote for its members adhering to the National Pact for the Referendum. Pressed by a group of deans and their adláteres, the Rector of the University agrees that an organ that should represent all the components of the university community, pronounce on an issue that does not fall within the competencies that it has legally and statutorily established.

    Once again, the manipulative will of a small group will try to supplant the voice of tens of thousands of people, pretending to show that the university is ideologically monolithic, without respecting neither the plurality of its members nor the legal mandates for which it must be governed. It is the University, a public entity, bearing the taxes of citizenship, which, moreover, can not defend, by its very nature and by the institutional guarantee that accompanies it, ideology or political position.
     
    The judgment of the Supreme Court of Justice of Catalonia claiming the neutrality of the representative bodies of a community of law and forcing the Bar Association of Barcelona to abandon the Covenant by referendum mentioned above clearly shows the illegality of what is intended and the way to go in front of it.
     
    Irrespective of the fact that, once the illegal decision has been adopted, those who do not feel represented by it undertake, as they have stated they will do, the appropriate legal actions, a university can hardly accept a government team, headed by a Rector who does not comply with current legislation. With what authority are they going to invest? How will they be able to obtain the respect of the whole university international community? And that of the society with whose taxes it is financed?
     
    Relegating UNIVERSITAS to reductionism, one of our best universities, is situated outside the legal and legitimate, breaking the motto that presides our societies, adopted with the consolidation of democratic constitutionalism in the second half of the twentieth century, around the State of Right, democracy and fundamental rights “.

    The motto presided by the UB is “Freedom floods everything with light.” Tomorrow there will be no liberty of the University to oppose the moderation of the Cancellor; University liberty darkened tomorrow, eclipsed by money, power, ideology and iniquity of the fanatics; Freedom will be extinguished tomorrow at university, because as Jaime Balmes recalled, “freedom is the submission of all to the law, even those who rule.” Tomorrow, the Universitat de Barcelona will cease to be presided over by the liberty, submitted to the Palau de la Generalitat in an unworthy act that will damage its prestige for a long time.

    Tomorrow some will fall. But it resists the University of Lleida. Resist the UAB. And we resist the pains, always free, while in Madrid – hear, Rajoi? – a cigar is smoked.
    Dolça i sotmesa Universitat de Barcelona …

    • Colin McLachlan
      Posted July 12, 2017 at 6:02 am | Permalink

      WTF. TL;DR

  22. Posted July 12, 2017 at 12:29 pm | Permalink

    Hm, growing up I never liked Coffee Crisp, but I assumed like everything else it was an American import. Crunchie was sort of meh, and ditto.

  23. bPer
    Posted July 12, 2017 at 4:05 pm | Permalink

    Coffee Crisp bars are my long-time favorites too. I noticed that they were available to the thief, two shelves up and to the right. Maybe next time.

    At Halloween, there are mixed bags of mini-bars available here in Canada that include Crunchies and Coffee Crisps. Somehow, they don’t make it into the little kiddies’ bags at our place. 😉

    At the end of the video, YouTube offered me a video that I think would appeal to PCC(e): Squirrel plays on top of cat. I’ve never seen squirrels around here (Ottawa) that have long tufts of hair extending above their ears like this little one. Anybody know where they’re found?

    βPer

    • Michael Fisher
      Posted July 12, 2017 at 6:37 pm | Permalink

      @βPer Nice video! I’m not a squirrelogist, but I assume it’s a Eurasian red squirrel [or simply red squirrel] [Sciurus vulgaris] – they have ear tufts nearly all year round, don’t hibernate & have a very wide variety of coat colours

      They are found more or less continuously from the UK all the way east to China. There is an American squirrel far south of you called Abert’s squirrel, or tassel-eared squirrel, [Sciurus aberti], but it looks nothing like yours. It hangs out in the Rockies.

      • bPer
        Posted July 13, 2017 at 8:51 am | Permalink

        Thanks for the info! I’ll keep an eye out for them if I’m over there.

    • rickflick
      Posted July 12, 2017 at 6:52 pm | Permalink

      The cat looks mildly annoyed.

  24. Mike
    Posted July 15, 2017 at 8:17 am | Permalink

    The missus has a stash of Crunchies, which I raid on occasion, one of the best Chocolate Bars ever, but i have noticed they are smaller since they are being marketed in packs of 4.


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