Jesus ‘n’ Mo ‘n’ Matthew

Today’s Jesus and Mo strip, called “rise2”, came with this note:

Time to make fun of the Bible, having picked on the Koran for the past few weeks. Here’s a 10-years-old strip about the funniest gospel, Matthew.

Here’s the relevant verse from the King James version:

Matthew 27:51-53

51 Then, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth quaked, and the rocks were split, 52 and the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; 53 and coming out of the graves after His resurrection, they went into the holy city and appeared to many.

20 Comments

  1. Posted June 7, 2017 at 8:26 am | Permalink

    To be fair, it may be that Matthew was talking about people who were actually sleeping! Also, & I am no christian apologist, “coming out of the graves after His resurrection” – means that it was only after the supposed ‘resurrection’ of JC that they zombied about – “and appeared to many”!

    • Ken Kukec
      Posted June 7, 2017 at 9:04 am | Permalink

      According to Matthew 27:52, the graves of the saints were cracked opened by the earthquake that accompanied Jesus’ death on the cross, but they remained in their graves for a couple days until Jesus’ resurrection.

      I’ve always wondered how “Matthew” knew that part. I suppose he must’ve conducted first-person … er, first-zombie interviews to get their take on it.

  2. W.Benson
    Posted June 7, 2017 at 8:29 am | Permalink

    I wasn’t aware that there we saints before the crusifiction. Can someone clarify?

    • busterggi
      Posted June 7, 2017 at 9:46 am | Permalink

      Translation bias.

    • Posted June 7, 2017 at 11:47 am | Permalink

      Good point. Does anyone have the Greek text around?

  3. Randy schenck
    Posted June 7, 2017 at 8:31 am | Permalink

    Yes, that makes sense. Why would anyone doubt it.

  4. Ken Kukec
    Posted June 7, 2017 at 8:42 am | Permalink

    That was quite the banner weekend in Jerusalem, according to Matt. Had an earthquake and a total solar eclipse too. (The temblor was how the zombies were loosed from their graves, and how the temple curtain was rent in two.)

  5. claudia baker
    Posted June 7, 2017 at 9:12 am | Permalink

    Saw this joke a few days ago on an atheist site, and it tickled my fancy, being an ex-catholic and all:

    ‘Jesus died for your sins.’
    But he didn’t stay dead. He was only dead over the weekend.
    So: ‘Jesus gave up his weekend for your sins.’

    I suggested to an atheist friend of mine, who still teaches at the catholic h.s. where I used to teach, that he make this into a poster and put it up in the hallways. Give the poor kids there a break from the brainwashing.

    Atheists: taking work wherever they can get it!

    • Martin Knowles
      Posted June 7, 2017 at 1:22 pm | Permalink

      Good one!

  6. Posted June 7, 2017 at 9:57 am | Permalink

    I wonder how a Christian theologian would reconcile Matthew 27:51-53 with the belief that the souls of saints float off to Heaven when they die. Was there a soul recall?

    • busterggi
      Posted June 7, 2017 at 11:31 am | Permalink

      More importantly, did those saints go marching in?

      • Colin McLachlan
        Posted June 7, 2017 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

        I want to be in that number.

    • Doug
      Posted June 7, 2017 at 11:26 pm | Permalink

      Some Christians believe that the Old Testament Jews didn’t float off to Heaven until after the resurrection, but stayed in a state of suspended animation (“The dead know nothing”–Ecclesiastes 9:5). Nobody could go to Heaven until Jesus redeemed mankind.

      Of course, the Bible also says that the O.T. prophet Elijah was carried to Heaven in a whirlwind (2 Kings 2:11); it’s tough trying to make all these pieces fit.

      • Richard
        Posted June 8, 2017 at 3:18 am | Permalink

        You are clearly failing to compartmentalize. A difficult skill, but one worth acquiring.

      • Posted June 8, 2017 at 10:24 am | Permalink

        Elijah was carried off alive, so his case may be special.

  7. Colin McLachlan
    Posted June 7, 2017 at 12:17 pm | Permalink

    and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised

    I live in a graveyard (honestly), and it always amuses me to see the quite common expression “fallen asleep” followed by the date, on gravestones. I bet they were really upset when they woke up. Doesn’t really bear thinking about.

  8. PatrickQ
    Posted June 7, 2017 at 12:19 pm | Permalink

    The ‘Saints’ were sleeping in their graves and came out when ‘darkness came over all the land.’ Clearly they were vampires, not zombies. Study your unbiology people!

    • Martin Knowles
      Posted June 7, 2017 at 1:24 pm | Permalink

      They came out looking to be washed in the blood of Our Lord (and have a tipple as needed).

  9. infiniteimprobabilit
    Posted June 7, 2017 at 4:14 pm | Permalink

    Slightly OT but apropos of saints, I guess, I’ve just walked around the Kremlin which is (a) bloody yuge* and (b) has at least four churches with multiple golden domes gleaming in the sun. One of ’em is full of dead czars.

    (*If you go to type ‘huge’ on a keyboard with dual Latin/Cyrillic key labels and hit the Cyrillic ‘H’ by mistake, you get ‘yuge’. Conspiracy theorists make of that what you will.)

    My sceptical side says, why did they need so many – wouldn’t one do? My engineer side says, what the hell is that metal and how do they keep it so shiny? Not gold, obviously, or someone would have nicked it. Not brass, or it would have tarnished I think, they can’t send someone up every few months with a bucket of Brasso surely.

    Every way you look in central Moscow there’s a golden dome (and quite a few gold stars too, Josef’s riposte to the domes). (And massive buildings, NOT grey, but all carefully maintained and painted in pastel colours. And don’t get me started on the Metro stations… 😉

    The foodies among you (if you call it that) may be amused to know that макдоналдс is popular here and чикен де люкс is pronounced the same, which makes it very convenient when ordering in a hurry. I’m not sure who has subverted who.

    cr (aka кр )

  10. Wunold
    Posted June 8, 2017 at 12:05 am | Permalink

    In the book “Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children’s Bible”, there’s a nice illustration of this event.


%d bloggers like this: