Intrepid squirrel drives away burglar, gets rewarded with Whoppers

From WXPI in Idaho, we hear of a Hero Squirrel named Joey who drove a burglar, apparently attacking and biting the intruder. Adam Pearl, Joey’s owner, came home and found scratches on his gun case, with a few items missing. Apparently the police found the intruder, who confessed to the crime after the cops noticed he bore marks of sciurid wrath:

Pearl called police and Officer Ashley Turner came out to take a report. She was startled by Pearl’s pet squirrel and asked Pearl if Joey would bite, according to the KIVI report. Pearl said the squirrel normally didn’t bite, but he couldn’t rule it out.

Turner left to investigate the crime, only to return to Pearl’s residence a few hours later with some of Pearl’s stolen merchandise. When questioning the suspect, Turner noticed he had scratches on his hand and asked if he got them from a squirrel. The man said the squirrel wouldn’t stop attacking him until he left the house.

Pearl said Joey is basking in his heroic actions by enjoying his favorite treat – Whoppers candy.

Click on the screenshot to see the short video that appeared on television.

screen-shot-2017-02-16-at-2-49-06-pm

I don’t know if they sell Whoppers outside the US, but if you don’t know the candy, it’s the archetypal movie treat: malted milk balls covered with a chocolate-like substance:

whoppers_box

Other candies I ate as a kid at the movies were Raisinettes, Nonpareils, and Sugar Daddy caramel suckers.

The interior of a Whopper:

whopper_opened

 

 

h/t: Martin R.

21 Comments

  1. Diana MacPherson
    Posted February 16, 2017 at 3:13 pm | Permalink

    Squirrel went squirrelly!

  2. Ken Kukec
    Posted February 16, 2017 at 3:14 pm | Permalink

    Dang, I ain’t had a Whopper in, like, decades. Gonna run down to the corner store and pick one up right now.

    What’s up, Jerry, no love for Jujubees, Milk Duds, and Dots?

    • Posted February 16, 2017 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

      Yes, those too, though I preferred the spearmint leaves and orange slices with sugar crystals on the surface over the smooth, naked Dots. Jujubees were always too hard to chew!

  3. busterggi
    Posted February 16, 2017 at 3:15 pm | Permalink

    Darned but those are good!

  4. Mark Sturtevant
    Posted February 16, 2017 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    I love those things!

  5. allison
    Posted February 16, 2017 at 3:27 pm | Permalink

    Haha, I had pictured the squirrel eating Whopper hamburgers from Burger King. I forgot about the candy of the same name.

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted February 16, 2017 at 3:32 pm | Permalink

      I thought that too! I was looking forward to seeing how a little squirrel could eat a big whopper!

      • Posted February 17, 2017 at 11:54 am | Permalink

        I thought so too. Given that I thought squirrels were generally not carnivorous, I found it funny. I’d never heard of the candy.

  6. een
    Posted February 16, 2017 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

    The UK/Commonwealth versions are known as Maltesers – a little darker inside to judge from the photo.

    • Grania Spingies
      Posted February 16, 2017 at 3:42 pm | Permalink

      Yes, very similar.

    • stuartcoyle
      Posted February 16, 2017 at 4:11 pm | Permalink

      Yep look like Maltesers to me too. Uesd to be the thing that we’d throw around in the cinema.

    • chris moffatt
      Posted February 16, 2017 at 5:09 pm | Permalink

      Thankyou; I was racking my poor brain (again) to remember that name.

      • Diana MacPherson
        Posted February 16, 2017 at 5:31 pm | Permalink

        Ah yes! That’s what they’re known in Canada as well. Tasty too!

    • Simon Hayward
      Posted February 16, 2017 at 5:17 pm | Permalink

      The main difference being that maltesers have chocolate on the outside rather than “a chocolate-like substance” which describes whoppers pretty accurately.

      • chrism
        Posted February 17, 2017 at 4:49 am | Permalink

        There’s also the consideration that the cocoa beans for US chocolate are sourced differently when compared to UK brands (central America versus west Africa). Anyone who has tried what is ostensibly the same chocolate, let’s say Cadbury’s Dairy Milk, made in both places will testify to the enormous difference. I remember reading about specialist chocolate shops in the US importing British chocolate for expats, and being sued by chocolate companies for infringing their rights to make and sell those brands in that territory. I think Hershey was playing the bad guy role in that saga, as they make so-called Cadbury products in the US (and do it just as well as they make their own evil-tasting dreck).
        In short, I think that squirrel needs rewarding with some real Maltesers!

  7. Posted February 16, 2017 at 4:30 pm | Permalink

    Cool! Nice use of squirrelish territoriality. I love this.

  8. mordacious1
    Posted February 16, 2017 at 5:38 pm | Permalink

    “She was startled by Pearl’s pet squirrel and asked Pearl if Joey would bite”.

    Cop: Does your squirrel bite?

    (You all know what comes next)

  9. infiniteimprobabilit
    Posted February 16, 2017 at 6:40 pm | Permalink

    The makers of Whoppers could have a good advertising opportunity there – “What people (/squirrels) will do for a Whopper”

    cr

  10. Jonathan Wallace
    Posted February 17, 2017 at 8:33 am | Permalink

    Though I am not a habitue of their burger restaurants I believe the Burger King chain’s leading product is a burger called a Whopper. My initial thought (and consequent astonishment)on seeing the headline to this post was that that is what the squirrel was rewarded with!

    • Jonathan Wallace
      Posted February 17, 2017 at 8:34 am | Permalink

      Oops – just seen someone has already posted the same thought. Should have read through the thread before posting!

  11. Posted February 17, 2017 at 11:48 am | Permalink

    Yes in the UK they are called Maltesers and look much the same. I think they are still on sale.

    Many years ago I was at a theatre with a fairly spartan interior: raked seats but no carpeting under the stalls seats. During a quiet bit of the play someone sitting in the back row had the misfortune to drop a whole box of Maltesers on the floor, and they came trickling out one at a time. As they rolled down the slope towards the stage, each one dropped down each successive step in the floor, bouncing slightly, with audible results. At first those in the back few rows heard it and started sniggering, then the middle rows, and finally the stream of round chocolate balls started neared the front and all the audience was in fits of laughter. The actors on stage could not work out why and so started checking themselves for what we now call wardrobe malfunctions. Finally the balls got to the stage and the actors could hear as well, and everyone enjoyed the situation. Except, presumably, those who had lost their entire box of chocs.


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