I don’t read Private Eye, the British humor magazine, but Matthew Cobb sent a screenshot from his issue singling out what I thought was a joke, but isn’t. His notes:
Pseud’s corner is the bit in Private Eye where they publish genuine pseud0-intellectual garbage. This appears to be true.
I can’t explain it. I can understand why you might be interested in people’s responses to plastic bags but that’s not the same thing as saying they are conscious!