Headline of the season

This is from Fox News; click on the screenshot to go to the article. It’s true, funny, and the “Jesusnapping” was probably conducted by an atheist.

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And the story in its entirety:

Police say a woman stole baby Jesus from a Nativity scene in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and dropped the figurine off at a hospital with a note explaining that the baby had been “neglected” by his parents, “Joseph and Mary Christ.”

Police say 49-year-old Jacqueline Ross told them it was a joke, but they aren’t laughing.  She was identified from surveillance video and is jailed on charges of theft and institutional vandalism.

Police say she went to the hospital early on Dec. 4 just minutes after stealing the $2,700 figurine from Payrow Plaza.

Police say she left a note with the porcelain baby that read, in part, “Child has broken right foot which is been (sic) neglected. Parents Joseph and Mary Christ got a warning.”

Ross doesn’t yet have an attorney.

Here’s a photo of the creche; Baby Jesus has been returned, but note that his right foot is missing. Why couldn’t God heal amputee Jesus?

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Photo: Bethlehem Police Department

h/t: jjh

19 Comments

  1. Posted December 24, 2016 at 2:55 pm | Permalink

    The right foot has been broken off to atone for our sins.

  2. bluemaas
    Posted December 24, 2016 at 3:02 pm | Permalink

    What a hoot o’a
    … … ‘foot’note: “Amputee – Jesus !”

    Still giggling,
    Blue

  3. Billy Bl.
    Posted December 24, 2016 at 3:23 pm | Permalink

    Joseph and Mary Christ. That’s gotta be a classic.

    • jimroberts
      Posted December 24, 2016 at 5:00 pm | Permalink

      IIRC, Bart Ehrman said in a talk that some of his incoming students think that that Jesus was the son of Joseph and Mary Christ.

      • jimroberts
        Posted December 24, 2016 at 5:01 pm | Permalink

        It was probably just a joke.

  4. Randall Schenck
    Posted December 24, 2016 at 3:25 pm | Permalink

    How will they drive in the nails properly. Kind of leaves him dangling a bit.

  5. Jan
    Posted December 24, 2016 at 3:39 pm | Permalink

    ” is jailed on charges of theft and institutional vandalism.”

    I can’t believe they put her in jail for that!! Charge her yes, but jail????

    • Geoff Toscano
      Posted December 24, 2016 at 4:08 pm | Permalink

      Under UK law to be guilty of theft it is necessary to prove intention ‘permanently to deprive’. I’ll guess the US law will be pretty similar. It’s clear there was no intention permanently to deprive, and so she is not guilty of theft.

      I have no idea what is meant by institutional vandalism, in the sense of whether it as breaking the foot, which must then be proved to b down to her, or simply interfering with the display in the first place. Either way the matter is surely trivial.

      • GBJames
        Posted December 24, 2016 at 4:13 pm | Permalink

        I thought institutional vandalism was the domain of the Republican Party.

      • Dragon
        Posted December 24, 2016 at 8:21 pm | Permalink

        Pennsylvania Institutional Vandalism:
        In Pennsylvania, you commit institutional vandalism if you knowingly desecrate, vandalize or deface the building, objects inside or grounds of:

        A church, synagogue or any place used for religious worship.
        A cemetery or mortuary.
        A school, educational facility, community center, municipal building, government building or courthouse.

        Institutional vandalism where the loss will cost more than $5,000 to repair is a felony of the third degree, punishable by up to seven years in prison and up to $15,000 in fines. If the value to repair the damage is less, it is a misdemeanor of the second degree.

        The above from philadelphiacriminalattorney.com

        Since it does not need to be repaired, it should be at most misdemeanor of the second degree.

  6. gravelinspector-Aidan
    Posted December 24, 2016 at 4:22 pm | Permalink

    Why couldn’t God heal amputee Jesus?

    Standard answer #4 : God could do it, but she chooses not to.
    Answers #43 and #26 (“mysterious ways” and “turtles all the way down”) can also apply.
    You know, someone, somewhere might find a Biblical set of “Cards Against Humanity” to be rather entertaining. Particularly if it’s shuffled with the “BDSM and paraphilia” card set.

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted December 24, 2016 at 4:29 pm | Permalink

      In the (unlikely) event that there is someone here who has never pulled a black card form the deck and fallen off their chair helpless with mirth, here is all you need to know about Canards Against Humanity.

      • yiamcross
        Posted December 25, 2016 at 9:38 am | Permalink

        I haven’t. Thanks for the link

  7. Craw
    Posted December 24, 2016 at 5:37 pm | Permalink

    Part 1 of a cunning plan.
    1. Show contempt for law, property, and the feelings of others.
    2. Whinge about how people view atheists.

    • yiamcross
      Posted December 25, 2016 at 9:40 am | Permalink

      To show contempt for the contemptible is the epitome of humanity.

  8. Damien McLeod
    Posted December 24, 2016 at 8:40 pm | Permalink

    Let her go and arrest the dumb cops.

  9. Mary L
    Posted December 24, 2016 at 11:10 pm | Permalink

    he church got it wrong, anyway. The baby isn’t supposed to be in the creche until xmas day.

  10. Posted December 25, 2016 at 5:18 am | Permalink

    Will the song , ”Footloose”, now be declared a Christmas Carol, I wonder?


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