Not long ago I announced a contest (twice: here and here), asking readers to make up “two mock headlines satirizing those that might appear in the PuffHo.” I added that the winner would receive either an autographed copy or an audiobook of Faith Versus Fact, with a cat drawn in the former. I reserved the right to declare that there is no winner if the headlines aren’t funny enough. Fortunately, we do have a winner.
Our SuperSekret Judge examined all the entries, and found a number of funny ones. I’ll put the winner at the bottom, but first the runners-up (no prize, but a warm congratulations). I’ll add that if there was any recurring problem with entries, is that they were often way too long, and didn’t come close to things that might appear in PuffHo. (Satire has to be in the vicinity of its target.)
Now, on to the funniest ones, with their senders given first:
kieran, Posted August 9, 2016 at 9:00 am
Tswift latest feud with ex: Pope weighs in
Stephen D, Posted August 12, 2016 at 12:00 am |
Is science racist? How the scientific method invalidates marginalized cultures that rely on oral tradition
It wasn’t Islam: Why [insert most recent ISIS attacker here] was wrong about his own motives
Heather Hastie, Posted August 11, 2016 at 10:37 pm
Five Reasons Boris Johnson Could be Donald Trump’s Love Child
Larry Moran, Posted August 11, 2016 at 8:46 am
Scientists discover evidence for evolution
Saul Sorrell-Till, Posted August 11, 2016 at 11:01 am
‘ISISters Are Doing It For Themselves! Ten fierce fashion tips for today’s jihadi bride’ #rockinitgirlfriend
‘Yes She Can! Why Kim K’s naked ping pong match in Madison Square Garden will be the greatest victory for feminism since suffrage’ #backoffpatriarchy
DebbJ, Posted August 12, 2016 at 1:29 am
How To Survive When One of Your Triggers is Trigger Warning Alerts
Michael Day, Posted August 11, 2016 at 10:05 am
Orange is the New Blech: Trump suggests that soylent green “not such a bad idea” for the nation’s prisons.
LionAroundWriting, Posted August 10, 2016 at 6:37 pm |
Woman sues after cutting herself while passing through glass ceiling. Employee suing for damages and loss of earnings despite the metaphorical nature of the injuries.
Shwell Thanksh, Posted August 9, 2016 at 11:55 pm
One Fearless Midwife Explains Why She’s Standing Up For GMO-Labelling of Zika Vaccines
Alpha Neil, Posted August 8, 2016 at 8:59 pm
OUTRAGEOUS! Halliburton has started using genetically modified wheat gluten in its fracking operations.
Gareth Price, Posted August 8, 2016 at 8:22 pm
A selfie-stick and an iPhone: how men over 40 are doing their own colonoscopies.
Pali, Posted August 8, 2016 at 8:04 pm
Fox Shows Bias in Hillary Coverage
Christoph, Posted August 8, 2016 at 6:41 pm
Yale students demand that Economics professor rescind Final Exam; accuse him of Macro and Micro aggressions.
JonLynnHarvey, Posted August 8, 2016 at 3:53 pm
Reza Aslan and Oprah discuss four spiritual benefits of Islamic breastfeeding practices.
Charleen D. Adams, Posted August 8, 2016 at 2:23 pm
Smashingly perfect swimwear for the twerking averse: How to get your groove on in a burqini
caplaboratorytestnametestname, Posted August 8, 2016 at 2:10 pm | Permalink
Bad boy, bad girl! How you’re harming your dog by indoctrinating them into the gender binary.
Øystein, Posted August 8, 2016 at 2:18 pm
The new rape: Words can be painful. so why do we insist on maintaining the archaic distinction between offensive comments and physical assaults?
simiiformes, Posted August 8, 2016 at 12:46 pm
Father’s day celebration triggers a painful reminder of patriarchy in college students
Cole, Posted August 8, 2016 at 10:37 am
Students Petition Dean’s Resignation After Insensitive Calls For “Open Dialogue”
And. . . . the WINNER! (Illustration contributed by JAC):
Aneris, Posted August 8, 2016 at 8:03 pm
RAMADAN IS FOR EVERYONE: GENIUS WAYS HOW TO AVOID CULTURAL APPROPRIATION WITH LIGHT DAY-EATING
Honorable mention from Aneris:
How to PERFECTLY Boil Water in a Watercooker in 5 Simple Steps
Aneris can write me to claim his/her prize.