These boots are made for walking, but no sane person would wear them

People keep sending me photos of cowboy boots that have been cut down into sandals with long tops, or “golf boots” with cleats on the bottom. No more! The only good cowboy boot is an old-style cowboy boot. Is there any reader who would wear these, which I saw on eBay?


My custom boots (real boots) will probably come tomorrow. Stay tuned.


  1. somer
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 6:49 am | Permalink


  2. Kevin
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 6:54 am | Permalink

    Gads! 😷

  3. Posted July 5, 2016 at 7:01 am | Permalink

    In Texas, I’m fairly certain we would set you on the nearest thing floating out of the Gulf of Mexico if you were wearing these.

  4. Ken Kukec
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 7:05 am | Permalink

    That’s flat out the fugliest, most ridiculous footwear this side of the Vatican.

    • Ken Kukec
      Posted July 5, 2016 at 7:19 am | Permalink

      I’d as lief find a sister in a whorehouse as get caught shod in a pair of those.

      • Dave
        Posted July 5, 2016 at 10:16 am | Permalink

        Learned a new word there. (And I don’t mean shod or whorehouse.)

  5. Dominic
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 7:07 am | Permalink

    Thanks for making me smile!

  6. Posted July 5, 2016 at 7:38 am | Permalink

    It’s the ontological argument in reverse.

  7. jay
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 7:58 am | Permalink

    Al Bundy has this covered.

    Pretty hard to beat “God’s shoes

  8. Posted July 5, 2016 at 8:18 am | Permalink

    It’s not standard gear, but these are worn by some rodeo clowns (which is a pretty impressive job despite what the name implies). Regular sneakers are more common. That said, I’d hate to see them anywhere else.

    A good boot needs to have a “line”, which is hard to describe – a combination of the curve of the sole, the toe, the heel shape and slant, the space under the arch, and the shape of the upper over the foot. Though most custom boots have this, a boot needn’t be expensive or custom to have this line. Many old school Justins are particularly good. Of course, a “boot” without a heel can’t really have a line!

    • Randall Schenck
      Posted July 5, 2016 at 8:47 am | Permalink

      Makes sense – can’t imagine a rodeo clown out there running around in conventional cowboy boots.

  9. Merilee
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 8:40 am | Permalink

    Very patriotic I s’pose…though hit multiple times with the ugly stick

  10. jeffery
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 9:15 am | Permalink

    I was thinking along the line of clowns, as well, but I was thinking of fans of “Insane Clown Posse”!

  11. Posted July 5, 2016 at 11:01 am | Permalink

    Nice patriotic colors. I could have worn them yesterday.

  12. gravelinspector-Aidan
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 12:11 pm | Permalink

    Apart from the abysmal excuse for a sole, and the probable difficulty of putting them on, they don’t have a much more garish colour scheme than any boots with a pair of 1980s Yeti gaiters (with the blue-red colour scheme) on them. Which actually do work very well for knee-deep snow (nothing works well for chest-deep snow), thawing snow over soft peat, etc.
    They did do the Yeti gaiters in khaki and olive drab (desert and forest) colours too, but they were hard to get hold of unless you had a friend in the military. (I must admit to never having replaced mine when the rand disintegrated in the mid-1990s. Didn’t get enough use.)
    To be honest, they look more like someone has stuck the top half of a pair of “cowboy boots” onto a pair of regular training shoes, combining the worst aspects of both.

  13. Heather Hastie
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    I remember a time when high-heeled sneakers were the in thing for women. They were the ugliest thing you ever saw and I could never understand why anyone ever bought them.

  14. flounder99
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

    You can still get these. Tony Lama makes them. They call them “Tennie Lama’s”.

  15. Craw
    Posted July 5, 2016 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

    I was thinking, if these are his new boots I am going to get banned.

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