Breaking News: Jesus now in Texas

by Grania

On the side of a cow trailer.

My only comment on this is: how does this become a news item at all? It’s not like even the news team believes it to be real, whether or not they may profess to be Real Christians™ themselves.

Even they are basically yukking it up at the imaginings of an emotionally compromised individual and her family who are lapping up every bit of attention they can get.

It’s kind of the 21st century equivalent of the old Victorian era freak show.

Yes, some people will get a warm and fuzzy message out of it; although you could get a message out of Harry Potter too without anyone feeling the pressing need to call the local press and share the good news.

Mostly, it’s a tawdry peep show for people to point and roll their eyeballs at, and I guess the media will keep reporting on it while people keep gawping and laughing.

Jesus

Hat-tip: Joyce

53 Comments

  1. Joseph McClain
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:06 am | Permalink

    This looks to me like a skull of a longhorn. But then again, I’m a born-again Beefist.

    • Dominic
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:07 am | Permalink

      Nightjar.

    • Anonymous
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:17 am | Permalink

      Lol, good one, McClain!

  2. Dominic
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:13 am | Permalink

    It is effing incredible – no one drew him when/if he was alive, so how the hell do they miraculously know that he looked like a rusty cow trailer?! Answer – it IS a flipping miracle!
    Haaaaaaaaaaallleluja!

  3. merilee
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:15 am | Permalink

    JHC

    • Mike Cracraft
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:25 am | Permalink

      That’s odd. I always thought it was: JFC

  4. BobTerrace
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:17 am | Permalink

    Pareidolia runs rampant in the bible soaked Texas heat.

    Didn’t you hear that those in Texas say the US government is invading Texas and will put gun owners in jails in closed down Walmarts?

    It is hard to fabricate stuff more bizarre.

  5. rclaryrc
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:21 am | Permalink

    Why is he burning in hell?

  6. Jeffery
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:25 am | Permalink

    In God we rust!

    • Dermot C
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:38 am | Permalink

      Very good! The Polk folks are missing a trick: loads of Hindus would have no problem genuflecting to the cow trailer. What an excellent opportunity for inter-faith dialogue. x

    • Posted July 16, 2015 at 9:26 am | Permalink

      LOL

    • Torbjörn Larsson, OM
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 10:19 am | Permalink

      Religious pareidolia has become pure iron-y.

      • Greg Weber
        Posted July 16, 2015 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

        Boom, there it is.

      • Mark R.
        Posted July 16, 2015 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

        Ferrous fools!

        • JohnnieCanuck
          Posted July 17, 2015 at 12:36 am | Permalink

          Ferric ones too, I have no doubt.

    • Diane G.
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:43 pm | Permalink

      LOL!

  7. Blue
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:47 am | Permalink

    Yeah, Texas.

    And this from the Freedom From Religion Foundation’s latest Freethought Today issue’s (June / July 2015) front page: a “welcoming” sign on public municipal grounds welcomes All to Hawkins, Texas: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/506655026807627982.

    Soooo, just how welcomed, FFRF’s Attorney Grover stated in its warning letter to the town’s “leadership,” do you think any such signs on the public’s lands which read “Mohammed Welcomes You to Hawkins” and “No God Welcomes You To Hawkins” will make folks visitin’ there feel?

    Blue

    • Diane G.
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:46 pm | Permalink

      Why is Pinterest so concerned that nonmembers might actually see a picture?

  8. Randy Schenck
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:50 am | Permalink

    I think Jesus said he might be coming back as a cow trailer. Although why a 1950s version I don’t know. Should at least be a modern goose neck trailer. For christ sake.

  9. darrelle
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:50 am | Permalink

    That’s not Jesus. That’s me. I am asking the Universe WTF!!! is wrong with people.

    Really. That is the worst Jesus image ever. These people should be ashamed of themselves. If Jesus existed he would surely send them straight to hell in a fit of pique over how unflattering their comparison of that dented rusty POS trailer to him is.

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 5:10 pm | Permalink

      Ya had me waiting for that whole last sentence of yours, for the verb to arrive. Nearly died from the suspense. 😉

      • darrelle
        Posted July 16, 2015 at 7:47 pm | Permalink

        Yeah, I’m pretty good at mangling the English language.

        • Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:21 pm | Permalink

          Does anyone else ever wonder why, if the sky fairy is trying to impress people by showing up on rusting trucks, he only visits true believers? You’d think he/she/it might show up at a Hindu shrine, or a mosque, or a Buddhist temple, or even the Wailing Wall, for chrisakes. But no, it’s always some bible-thumper’s cupcake, or cheese sandwich, compulsively preaching to the choir.

          • rickflick
            Posted July 16, 2015 at 9:10 pm | Permalink

            “You’d think…”
            There’s your answer – some do and some don’t.

  10. Jim Knight
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:51 am | Permalink

    It looks a lot more like a skull and horn cores of Bison latifrons than Jesus! And the bison would be a lot more “Texan” than Jesus would…

  11. JonLynnHarvey
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 9:10 am | Permalink

    This kind of thing has become so common and ubiquitous now. As such it becomes increasingly bizarre.

    Nonetheless,

    • Posted July 16, 2015 at 1:39 pm | Permalink

      Texas toast?

      b&

      • JonLynnHarvey
        Posted July 16, 2015 at 3:14 pm | Permalink

        Well the joke isn’t wearing thin, and it’s kind of cheesy, so maybe yes.

    • Diane G.
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:48 pm | Permalink

      Thanks for another good laugh.

  12. KenS
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 9:25 am | Permalink

    I see a fat man’s belly button.

    The Buddha, maybe?

  13. pilgrim pater
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 9:33 am | Permalink

    After 2K years and a lynching, no wonder he looks a little pail.

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 5:30 pm | Permalink

      Following that link, and some of the links it links to, there are far better Jesi out there than this cow-trailer one. (I think the cow trailer is Satan, you can see his great horns, prove it ain’t 😉

      cr

  14. MikeM
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 9:37 am | Permalink

    Lord Valdemort?

  15. Tom Snow
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 9:46 am | Permalink

    More and more this state seems like a Gulf Arab country: so modern and wealthy, and yet so backward and superstitious at the same time.

  16. Reginald Selkirk
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 10:50 am | Permalink

    Mostly, it’s a tawdry peep show for people to point and roll their eyeballs at…

    You say that like it’s a bad thing.

  17. Posted July 16, 2015 at 11:20 am | Permalink

    The stupidity is strong with this one, Obi-wan.

  18. Posted July 16, 2015 at 11:28 am | Permalink

    Looks like some sort of Magic: The Gathering card art from something that didn’t quite make the cut.

  19. mordacious1
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    Looks more like Mother Teresa, confused as to why she’s in the wrong place (seems like a no-brainer to me).

    • Diane G.
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:54 pm | Permalink

      Wow, I can really see that!

  20. EvolvedDutchie
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 11:59 am | Permalink

    “Behold! The Lord of all Creation has revealed himself… on the side of this cow trailer.”

    Why does God never appear before the National Academy of Sciences, the Royal Society or NASA’s Mission Control Center?

    • BobTerrace
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 12:04 pm | Permalink

      Isn’t the Washington Monument his phallus?

      • EvolvedDutchie
        Posted July 16, 2015 at 12:40 pm | Permalink

        Seems more like a tribute to Atum.

  21. infiniteimprobabilit
    Posted July 16, 2015 at 5:05 pm | Permalink

    Well, I will certainly keep pointing, rolling my eyeballs and laughing. Now it’s no longer considered politically correct to go to an asylum and laugh at the inmates.

    And after all, these Christians have got to be useful for something. There’s enough insane things the religiosos do that you can’t laugh at (because they’re trying to force their nastiness on other people), so we might as well take the opportunity when it’s there.

    cr
    … waiting for the second coming of Jezza.

    • Diane G.
      Posted July 16, 2015 at 8:58 pm | Permalink

      I’m with Grania here. These people will not, for the most part, be getting the reception by the general public that they think they are.

  22. Posted July 16, 2015 at 6:30 pm | Permalink

    jesus or a crappy welding job that’s rusting out.

    useful things from religion: 0

    pointless “appearances”: 8429384792837429837

    it does go to show just how barren the religion is when this is a “sign”.

  23. Posted July 16, 2015 at 11:51 pm | Permalink

    Ashes to ashes, rust to rust…

  24. Thylacinidae
    Posted July 17, 2015 at 12:39 am | Permalink

    Nope, not seeing it. Frankly, I think the image of said entity on the d*g butt is far more convincing… I will, however, refrain from posting that here to avoid scaring the cats.

  25. Posted July 17, 2015 at 11:19 pm | Permalink

    their failure to understand the low calibre of “miracle” is sad, but especially when they think we are all as gullible as they are.

  26. Posted July 17, 2015 at 11:20 pm | Permalink

    this certainly helps feed their need for martyrdom and why they feel picked on when we do not all revere their belief they demand “respect” for while telling us all off, eh?


%d bloggers like this: