I cannot brain today because my neurons are bent toward my book. So you will have persiflage.
Diana MacPherson has called my attention to what might be the archetypal Canadian news story. Here, from the CBC News, is the headline and photo (it’s a great pity that there’s no video)
And the entire story, which is hilarious (emphasis is mine). But I hope it found its way back to water:
An angry beaver was roaming around Miramichi on Tuesday, creating traffic delays and chasing onlookers.
Jim O’Neill was driving his taxi when he noticed a man being chased by a beaver off King George Highway on Tuesday.
“You look out the corner of your eye and see a beaver backing somebody up the driveway,” he said.
So, O’Neill stopped the cab and took out his camera.
Snapping a few pictures, O’Neill got about 2.5 metres away from the beaver before it turned on him.
“Slapped his tail on the driveway, slapped his front feet on the ground. He came on,” he said.
“So I backed up to try it again and jeez he got quite aggressive. He was camera shy.”
The rodent, possibly displaced from its home due to recent flooding, spent most of Tuesday afternoon roaming through town causing delays in traffic.
Miramichi Police Force were also called about the beaver as it was roaming around the northern city.
Sgt. Ed Arbeau said the Miramichi police deal with animals on a daily basis but this was a first.
“The damn thing was lost, it was going down the street. We didn’t do anything, we showed up and seen what it was,” Arbeau said.
“The guys left it alone, told the citizens to leave it alone and it went on its way to where it was going.”
Although quite rare, beavers have been known to attack people.
Arbeau said it’s possible the large rodent had been provoked during its time in the city.
At least they correctly identified it as a rodent.
If you want to read more about beaver attacks on humans (some have been fatal), go here.
And here are two videos of beaver attacks. These beasts are nasty pieces of work. The first one shows live-trapping of beavers (I think in the U.S.), and the difficulty of trying to capture it and set it free. The second shows a very short but vicious rush by a beaver on a human.
If you see a beaver coming at you slowly like this one, head for the hills!
You’ve read the story, now see the movie:
Yes, it’s a real movie, and here’s the (slightly salacious) trailer:
As I said, I can’t brain today.