The winner: Cat Confession Contest!

The Cat Angels and I had a very tough job picking the winner of the Cat Confession Contest from the 7 finalists, and it was equally tough to pick those finalists from the forty-odd initial entries. 

One cat, however, stood out above all others for his bad behavior: the aptly named Mayhem, owned by reader Thaddeus. Here’s his entry:

Mayhem is notorious in the neighbourhood for breaking into people’s houses. I know of at least 5 houses in the area that he will just let himself into. One neighbour has such a problem with him that I am purchasing an electronic cat door to let his cats in and out and keep Mayhem out. Mayhem has also killed and at least part eaten: 2 guinea pigs, 2 hamsters, and a rabbit.


You can’t do many dirtier deeds than that as a cat. So I declare Mayhem the Titular Winner.

HOWEVER, all the finalists were so good that I could not let them go unrewarded. So, all finalists shall have books, with all the books being autographed by me, but Mayhem getting a special cat drawing.

Therefore, will the owners of the following cats please email me with their contact information (mailing address)?

  1. Hugo
  2. Theo
  3. Butter
  4. Mayhem
  5. Tulsi
  6. Ginger Bravo
  7. Fletcher

Books will be dispatched ASAP, but be aware I’m under a book deadline and it may take a while for all of them to go out.

Congrats to everyone who entered! The entries showed enormous cleverness and also highlighted the unrepentant cats who wreak havoc in their homes—or, in the case of Mayhem, in other people’s homes.


  1. Posted March 10, 2014 at 11:34 am | Permalink

    Theo heartily congratulates you, Mayhem; and earnestly hopes you will favour him with an invitation to dinner!

  2. Diana MacPherson
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 11:37 am | Permalink

    Congrats kitties & their humans & thanks to the cat angels!

  3. Posted March 10, 2014 at 12:02 pm | Permalink

    Congrats to all the winners…and to Moses, whose taste in literature I still most heartily approve of.


  4. Owen Recognizance
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

    Mayhem appears to be a deserving winner, but I still liked the one among the original entrants whose confession was ‘I regret nothing!’

  5. Posted March 10, 2014 at 12:18 pm | Permalink

    Will this be repeated Jerry? I missed out but I believe our tabby girl would be a strong contender in a future contest.

  6. Posted March 10, 2014 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

    Mayhem is very pleased by the honour.  I will send a picture of him when I get a chance. 

    Sent from Samsung Mobile

  7. eric
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 12:24 pm | Permalink

    Congrats to all, including especially Mayhem and owner!

  8. Taskin
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

    Congratulations Mayhem!
    Great contest 🙂

  9. Martin
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 1:22 pm | Permalink

    All these kittehs are fabulous. Hugo being my personal favorite. Mayhem how apropos, perhaps it’s not his first name but rather a reworking–perhaps a stage name?

  10. Posted March 10, 2014 at 1:24 pm | Permalink

    An excellent choice (and mine, as well… though I held Butter’s tongue on the matter, it being a conflict of interest and all).

    That is one seriously bad-ass kitty, as we say in the states!

  11. ginger k
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 1:30 pm | Permalink

    TO MAYHEM’S HOOMIN: Please keep ur kitteh inside ur howse. I do not want my pets eaten or otherwise harmed!


  12. A Andrea "Bhavya" Heiny
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 1:38 pm | Permalink

    Congratulations Thaddeus! Mayhem is a well-deserved winner.  Rare is the cat that has the moxie and skill for the ingenious shenanigans he has perfected so well. It was delightful competing with fellow incorrigibles 😉

  13. David Duncan
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 1:58 pm | Permalink

    Mayhem looks completely unrepentant.


  14. moarscienceplz
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 2:07 pm | Permalink

    I find it appalling that prof. Ceiling Cat is giving prizes and recognition for such bad behavior. How are these antisocial kitteh’s ever going to learn how to behave?
    (wink, wink)

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted March 11, 2014 at 2:02 am | Permalink

      They HAVE learned how to behave. Badly.
      (Or, as Dad puts it – he’s growing old, disgracefully.)

  15. Posted March 10, 2014 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    from Professor Ceiling Cat’s entitling of this darling thread’s google’s definition: “ tit • u • lar ”

    adjective: titular

    1. holding or constituting a purely formal position or title without any real authority.
    “the queen is titular head of the Church of England”

    synonyms: nominal, in title only, in name only, ceremonial, honorary, so-called; More
    token, puppet “the titular head of a university” or (of a cleric) nominally appointed to serve a diocese, abbey, or other foundation no longer in existence, and typically in fact having authority in another capacity

    2. denoting a person or thing from whom or which the name of an artistic work or similar is taken “the work’s titular song”
    synonyms: eponymous

    I just love learning new words’ definitions on our Professor’s site so thus, consequently too, C.O.N.G.R.A.T.U.L.A.T.I.O.N.S., Mayhem: YouSODa’ … … K.I.T.T.E.H. C.A.T.


  16. Marella
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 5:34 pm | Permalink

    Mayhem’s crimes are indeed egregious. Congrats to his owners! Having to purchase an electronic cat door for your neighbour is pretty embarrassing.

  17. Globules
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 9:32 pm | Permalink

    I like this site for the science and the atheism, but are you really celebrating an animal for killing and eating other people’s pets?

    • Posted March 11, 2014 at 3:31 am | Permalink

      He isn’t being “celebrated”, he’s been given an award for having done the worst thing.

      As I said in the Roolz, if you don’t like the site, don’t read it, and it sounds as if you don’t like the cats or my post. I really suggest you go to another site.

  18. Diane G.
    Posted March 10, 2014 at 9:41 pm | Permalink

    Mayhem–so appropriately named. Congrats to all kitteh finalists and their hoomins!

  19. gravelinspector-Aidan
    Posted March 11, 2014 at 2:05 am | Permalink

    Results : Mayhem : 1 ;Rest of the neighbourhoods pets : lunch.And the planets are also continuing in their natural courses. Well done Mayhem for keeping the natural order of things ticking over.

  20. Posted March 11, 2014 at 5:19 am | Permalink

    Mayhem was definitely the meanest! Congratulation and keep up the mayhem, Mayhem!

    I guess now I’ll heave to leave Chico without his snack for a week and turn him into a real meanie… just kidding!

    On the bright side, I had already selfishly given my dad a copy of WEIT, about two years ago. So I’ve already read the book. But I wanted a defaced copy! 🙂

  21. Reginald Selkirk
    Posted March 11, 2014 at 6:51 am | Permalink

    Could be some tough competition on the horizon:
    House cat in Oregon attacks baby, traps family in bedroom

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