Cat confession contest: all entries

Well, my “Cat Angels”—the secret celebrity panel of helpers and judges—have collated all the entries of the Cat Confessions contest, in which readers were asked to provide a photograph of their moggie as well as a TRUE written confession of that moggie’s misdeeds, along the lines of what was done to people during China’s Cultural Revolution.

And the results vastly exceeded my expectations. We have 34 entries, and all of them are funny. Rather then put them all on one post, which would take forever to load, I have placed them as a widget on the left sidebar  (label: “Cat confession contest: all entries”), which you can click to see every entry, or you can simply click here to go directly to that page.  Take some time to read them all; believe me—it’s worth it. You will LOL.

The quality of the entries is a testimony to both the ingenuity of the readers and the malefaction of their cats.

What will happen next is that the Cat Angels and I will pick five finalists and display them on one page where readers can leave comments (you can, by the way, leave comments on the big page above as well).  After a short while, we will pick the winner, who will receive an autographed copy of WEIT with a cat hand-drawn by Professor Ceiling Cat to the winner’s specifications. We will not take a vote, as some cats have figured a way to game the system, but we will look at readers’ comments before deciding.

Note that none of the cats look contrite!


  1. Posted February 11, 2014 at 1:44 pm | Permalink

    This ? This ROCKS !

    Thanks to ALL of the Hoomins who entered their demonic Criminal Critters !


  2. Diana MacPherson
    Posted February 11, 2014 at 1:46 pm | Permalink

    Those were all hilarious. I don’t know how the Cat Angels will decide!

  3. eric
    Posted February 11, 2014 at 1:50 pm | Permalink

    Mayhem FTW.

    Makes me wish I had sent in an entry. Our cat catches live mice, brings them into the house, then releases them for her own personal playtime.

  4. Taskin
    Posted February 11, 2014 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

    These are great, and all such beautiful animals. I recognize so many of these behaviours from the cats I have known…

  5. Posted February 11, 2014 at 2:19 pm | Permalink

    I have my favorite among these, but I will wait to make a suggestion.
    I tried to get pictures of my d*g in a cat disguise but he would have none of it.

  6. Posted February 11, 2014 at 2:31 pm | Permalink

    To the person who submitted the “I drag my butt over the white rug” caption ..

    Better take that cat to the vet! Cats tend to do that when something ‘back there’ is wrong (hurts, is irritated, urinary tract infection, etc), not really to ‘clean’.

    • smartbean
      Posted February 12, 2014 at 5:53 am | Permalink

      Unfortunately, we no longer have her, as we eventually found her owners and returned her to them. I’ll keep it in mind for our other kitties.

      • Posted February 12, 2014 at 5:38 pm | Permalink

        In my decades of experience with numerous cats, they do this when they have worms, more specifically tapeworms.

  7. tubby
    Posted February 11, 2014 at 3:53 pm | Permalink

    I wouldn’t say Orson is being intentionally evil so much as he thinks my pillow (and my face) is the most comfortable place to sleep. And is super aware of the camera.

    • Posted February 11, 2014 at 5:35 pm | Permalink

      You should feel privileged, even as your sinuses explode. Baihu’s favorite mattress is my chest, and my cheek his favorite pillow.

      Fortunately, I have no known allergies….


      • tubby
        Posted February 11, 2014 at 5:44 pm | Permalink

        Maybe. But I’m going to blame my recent back and shoulder pain on Orson using me as his body pillow. A 20 pound cat sleeps where ever he wants!

        • Posted February 11, 2014 at 6:02 pm | Permalink

          Twenty pounds is a big cat!

          Baihu is a very solid, muscular, lean ten pounds. Aside from the fur in the mouth or being drooled on or that sort of thing, he’s no problem at all. And when it starts to get uncomfortably warm, he’s the first to move to some other part of the bed…and often (of course) winds up in the middle of the bed with me somehow curved around him….


        • Sastra
          Posted February 11, 2014 at 7:10 pm | Permalink

          That’s heavy.

          Shirley stopped using me as her pillow because I move around too much, but it’s no problem weight-wise if she does. She’s almost 14 years old but weighs just under 4 and a half pounds.

          More like a large and very tame squirrel. Most of her is hair.

          • Diane G.
            Posted February 17, 2014 at 1:34 am | Permalink

            Oh my goodness, that’s tiny!

  8. Posted February 11, 2014 at 4:44 pm | Permalink

    What happened to my entry?

    • NoAstronomer
      Posted February 11, 2014 at 7:52 pm | Permalink

      Maybe the cat ate it?

      • gravelinspector-Aidan
        Posted February 12, 2014 at 12:45 pm | Permalink

        Maybe the cat tricked the d*g into eating it?

  9. Posted February 11, 2014 at 11:11 pm | Permalink

    …as some cats have figured a way to game the system…


    This message has been sent from my Blackberry!

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