I was surprised—and distressed—to see a blatantly creationist article appear in a student newspaper at a decent university. The school is North Carolina State University (NCSU), the paper is The Technician, the article is “How to argue against evolutionists,” and the author is Nicky Vaught, who is the Deputy Features Editor of the paper.
At first I thought this was a joke, as did reader Lynn, who sent me a link, but if it’s a joke or parody, there should be some sign of it. There isn’t, so I provisionally assume it’s serious. Against that is the sheer idiocy of the article’s content. Unfortunately, readers’ comments on the article have been disabled.
How much fail can one student publish? Well, here are a few excerpts:
Nye and other scientists seem to think false evidences such as dinosaur bones and carbon dating can give us information about the past — namely, that the Earth is billions of years old. If he were a real scientist, he would know that science cannot tell us anything about the past, only the here and now and possibly the future. To learn about the past, we have religion.
Speaking of history, have evolutionists perhaps forgotten about all the times science has led humanity astray? Science told us the Earth was flat. Science told us our planet was the center of the universe. Science has been wrong countless times before, so why would this time be any different?
The Bible, on the other hand, has never been wrong. For instance, humanity had to wait for science to catch up with Leviticus 15:13 in telling us to wash our hands in running water to avoid disease. Why would the creation of the universe be any different?
Here, by the way, is Leviticus 15:13 from the King James Bible:
And when he that hath an issue is cleansed of his issue; then he shall number to himself seven days for his cleansing, and wash his clothes, and bathe his flesh in running water, and shall be clean.
But wait—there’s more:
Evolutionists need to keep in mind the fact that their theory of, well, everything is nothing more than that — a theory. If they’re so confident in their beliefs, evolutionists should teach both sides of the controversy and let people come to their own conclusions. I’m sure a lot more people would choose intelligent design.
Especially in higher education facilities, it is important to get an education of the higher power. Universities that boast scientific-mindedness need to work more toward teaching open-mindedness.
Every evolutionist loves avoiding the big question: If we came from apes, why are there still monkeys?
Sure, they’ll say something like, “We all come from one common ancestor, not from monkeys directly.” Yet there seems to be no proof of any missing link. Never mind how irrational it is to demand a specimen of an interspecies creature that likely never existed. And if it ever did show up, we’d probably be able to do what we did with the dinosaur bones and deny its authenticity.
Besides, we all know the real common ancestor is God.
Evolution is fiction reserved for Pokémon games, so it just can’t be real. No one can explain what causes evolution whereas creationism has a clear, indisputable source. Charles Darwin was wrong, plain and simple.
Because evolution clearly isn’t right, it only makes sense that creationism is truth — just as we’ve known all along. It’s time we shut evolutionists up.
I’ve read this piece several times, and I still can’t figure out if it’s some kind of hoax. If it is, it lacks any sense of satire or humor, and in the end just parrots creationist arguments. Because they’re so dumb, I’m not going to waste any time refuting them. The only information I have is a “Nicky Vaught” on Vimeo giving a “Sunday meditation” in church, and that person bears a resemblance to some of the pictures on the public part of the “real” Vaught’s Facebook page:
The religious connection, of course, lends weight to the “true creationist” hypothesis.
I’m hoping I’m wrong, for I’d rather have a mistaken post than a mistaken student, one who spouts nonsense in the student newspaper. It’s either a poorly-done Poe or a poorly educated student. You tell me!