The July 5 Independent presents what it says are “the most highbrow jokes in the world.” There are 25 on the list and a few extras in the text. I doubt that most readers here will find many of them “highbrow,” though.
Here are the one I like the best, plus two I don’t understand. (But, like a proton, I’m positive the readers will explain those to me.) There seems to be a high concentration of physics jokes as compared, to, say, chemistry or physiology jokes.
An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realise you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.”
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”
What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
This is my favorite:
A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
And these I don’t get:
What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot.
A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”