Antievolution music: did Charlie make a monkey out of you?

Reader Atom sent me this catchy Christian anti-evolution video, “Did Charlie make a monkey out of you?”, with the song by Tom Walk and Russel Alan Pratt. This is the Kool-Aid that our Christian friends imbibe.

I have to say that it’s a bouncy tune, even if the only substantive argument is that there arent’ enough missing links, and there’s an implicit threat of damnation if you adhere to Darwin.

I suppose Alain de Botton would say that we need to write more evolution songs.



  1. Posted January 9, 2013 at 3:46 am | Permalink

    they should have spent time reading a bit of evolution

  2. Dominic
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 3:52 am | Permalink

    “we need to write more evolution songs” – now there’s a challenge!

    • John Scanlon, FCD
      Posted January 9, 2013 at 8:23 am | Permalink

      Cuttlefish at FTB has some good ones. He doesn’t usually provide the music, but the rhymes and rhythms often fit well-known tunes.

    • Rebecca Sparks
      Posted January 9, 2013 at 8:55 am | Permalink

      They Might Be Giants in their Here Comes Science CD have several pro-evolution songs.

      Science is Real
      “Science is Real,
      From the Big Bang to DNA
      Science is real
      from evolution to the Milky Way…”

      My Brother the Ape
      “But I’ll admit that I look more like a chimp
      Than I look like my cousin the shrimp
      Or my distant kin lichens or the snowy egret or the moss”

      or my favorite on the CD
      I am a paleontologist

      Its like pieces of a puzzle
      That I love to try and solve
      It’s so fun to think about
      How a species has evolved

      Also, the kid’s band Lunch Money just put out a song “To be a fossil”, but the lyric’s aren’t online yet and the only line I can remember is “Come and find me Mary Leakey…”

      • microraptor
        Posted January 9, 2013 at 7:57 pm | Permalink

        There’s also Rift Valley Drifters, by Roy Zimmerman.

  3. Eric
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:03 am | Permalink

    Who would this corny, hamming filled song possibly convince?

    • Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:11 am | Permalink

      Probably some corny ham-filled person 🙂

    • gluonspring
      Posted January 9, 2013 at 9:49 am | Permalink

      It’s not for convincing. It’s for soothing.

      • Diane G.
        Posted January 9, 2013 at 3:12 pm | Permalink


  4. pilgrimpater
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:03 am | Permalink

    The belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father (by magically raping a thirteen year old Jewish girl named Mary) can make you live forever if you symbolically drink his blood, eat his flesh, and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so he will remove a magical curse from your invisible soul because a woman made from a man’s rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

    The belief in an invisible man in the sky, that exists simultaneously in all times and places, creates universes with a word (but needs a nap at the end of the week’s work), loves every single one of us, but destroys cities, civilizations, and entire populations, and throws billions into fires for eternity, for behaving EXACTLY the way he made us to do (and knew we would beforehand), then a horse with a horn on it’s head seems perfectly reasonable.

    The belief that you could run a Zoo of all the “kinds” (whatever that is), on a boat with minimal ventilation & light in Force 12 conditions, with just 8 unqualified people while today a zoo, on dry land, with all the technology that we have at hand, and with a fraction of the “Kinds” to look after, requires hundreds of specialist employees.

    The belief that the fossil sequence & geology supports a Global Flood.

    There’s got be a song, nay a musical, in there somewhere.

    • microraptor
      Posted January 9, 2013 at 7:59 pm | Permalink

      Does it start with “Sloop John B” or the Gilligan’s Island theme?

    • steeve
      Posted January 10, 2013 at 4:35 am | Permalink

      Even crazier – at least for CATholics (I just noticed that for Jerry :)) – the eating of the flesh and blood is not symbolic. It is eating the actual flesh and blood. They call it transsubstantiation.

  5. Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:05 am | Permalink

    Yea, funny, but sad at the same time. Those kids are brainwashed from childhood, they instruct them with funny and joyful music which all kids love (what kid would refuse to jump and participate on such a funny video?), but teach them a bullshit and false statements, that unfortunately kids would consider facts when they are grown up, and refuse the real scientific facts because of their lovely childhood experience as if these facts are against their childhood love/joy/fun.

    How pathetic is that?

  6. Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:10 am | Permalink

    my band wrote an evolution song but packaged it as more of a satire of the religious right. i posted it on a few atheist facebook pages and was promptly called a ‘retard’ by one atheist! as an atheist myself and supporter of evolution and the scientific method it was very disheartening! maybe it needed to be more satirical!
    but in response to “we need to write more evolution songs” here is our effort:

    • Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:37 am | Permalink

      “Then home come I don’t [sfx: quack!]?”

      “Let’s see them evolve when they’re on fire.”



    • Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:48 am | Permalink

      Great job, lots of fun and creativity!!

      • Jeannette
        Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:50 am | Permalink


    • Marella
      Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:06 pm | Permalink

      Well if there’s no shopping in heaven then it certainly isn’t heaven!

      • Posted January 10, 2013 at 1:18 am | Permalink

        thanks for the kind words.

        and, marella, you are spot on! what sort of heaven is it if you can’t bloody shop? are there places to buy alcohol?
        these are very important questions that need answering.


  7. Griff
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:13 am | Permalink

    “Well, I’m looking in the mirror
    Just a checking out my rear
    But I can’t find a tail growing any place!”

    Maybe they should look at some of these pics:

    • Griff
      Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:23 am | Permalink

      Except the photoshopped ones of course!

  8. Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:21 am | Permalink

    I give you Words Such As Burn’s “Fallacy 1: Argument From Ignorance”:

    Oh my, what a beautiful sky

    Witnessed with a marvelously complex eye

    Comprehended by an enigmatic mind

    To those who can’t conceive that these wonders were not designed, well…


Don’t limit yourself

    By your own imagination.
You don’t have to sink
Into a sea of divine creation.


Oh hey, what did Ockham say?
The old boy had it bad for Ms. Parsimony
He took her home, but she would not behave

    She gave him the knife; it was a very close shave


Don’t limit yourself

    By your own imagination

    You don’t have to know

    Before you have the information


    PS. Buying the EP (or the single “Flow”) supports the Secular Student Alliance.

  9. pktom64
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:35 am | Permalink

    Roy Zimmerman wrote a (great) parody of that:

    Creation Science 101

    • microraptor
      Posted January 9, 2013 at 7:59 pm | Permalink

      Yeah, that’s a good one.

  10. Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:44 am | Permalink

    Gotta give them credit- that is the only Christian song I have seen that shows a sense of humor! I enjoyed it in spite of myself.

  11. Alex Shuffell
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:53 am | Permalink

    Something original like the element song would be cool. The best I know of is from the BBC Horrible Histories show – – sung to David Bowie’s Changes. And this sweet song –

    That creationism song appeared to be a musical version of this Jack Chick comic Be prepared before you read any of his work, it’s so wrong it goes beyond humour into something quite dark, like that song.

  12. Alex Shuffell
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:57 am | Permalink

    I think I need some Melodysheep and some synthesised David Attenborough to get that song out of my head.

  13. Howard Kornstein
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:10 am | Permalink

    I think we really DO have a much better pro Darwinian tune – the “Rationalist Anthem” by Baba Brinkman, and to top it off it’s far more trendy, being a rap number

  14. Veroxitatis
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:33 am | Permalink

    If Santorum stands again he’s got a catchy tune to go along with his anti education rhetoric.

  15. gbjames
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:35 am | Permalink

    Songs like this are parodies of themselves.

    • steeve
      Posted January 10, 2013 at 4:38 am | Permalink

      POE anyone?

  16. lanceleuven
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:37 am | Permalink

    “I suppose Alain de Botton would say that we need to write more evolution songs.”

    Love it. 🙂

    • Achrachno
      Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:44 am | Permalink

      But he may have been thinking of something more accommodating than “Darwin Ate Your Jesus Fish”

  17. Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:45 am | Permalink

    Check out the album “Natural Selections” by Mark Graham. OOP but available online if you look for it. Old-time/folk style acoustic music, very well done and funny. Science-friendly and atheist-friendly but be warned, it’s not always politically correct.

  18. Jon
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 6:02 am | Permalink

    If you’re a fan of reggae music, there’s always The Origin of Species in Dub from the Genetic Dub Collective.

    (Dub is reggae music remixed with echo effects and instruments dropping in and out.)

  19. Hans van den Bos
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 6:38 am | Permalink

    I think that most ‘monkeys’ use their brain better then those ‘apes’ like Walk, Pratt and their friends.

  20. Bill Cain
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 7:13 am | Permalink

    Hi Jerry, Keep up the good work on Why Evolution is true! I have read your book and think it’s great showing the horse evolution, whale evolution, etc. I wrote a video a couple of years ago making fun of creationists called “Reading My Bible”. The whole think is sarcasm with a psychedelic background. I thought you might enjoy it. Bill Cain

  21. Posted January 9, 2013 at 7:27 am | Permalink

    Another satirical entry:

  22. Chris Easterday
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 7:34 am | Permalink

    How about Pearl Jam’s “Do the Evolution”?

  23. JonLynnHarvey
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 8:26 am | Permalink

    Google “evolution songs” and this is the first hit.

    • Posted January 9, 2013 at 8:58 am | Permalink

      The song’s not great, but I liked the animation a lot.


  24. Matt Bowman
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 9:10 am | Permalink

    Ugh! I listened to this earlier today and now I keep hearing this tune in my head, “…made a monkey out of youuuu…” Make it stop!

  25. trombus
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 9:12 am | Permalink

    Here are a few other anti-evolution songs, but these are much, much older. They were a response to the Scopes Trial. You can’t Make a Monkey Out of Me, and Monkey Business, and Monkey Out of Me.

  26. John Harshman
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 9:28 am | Permalink

    The third substantive-ish argument comes at the end: Darwin recanted on his deathbed. It’s true! Lady Hope said so, and she was a Christian.

  27. Michael Fisher
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 2:36 pm | Permalink

    From the uploaders Youtube channel page it’s clear he’s into innuendo…

    About OnKneesforJesus4:-

    My life is all about getting on my knees and faithfully servicing Jesus until He comes.

    Please send me video links from your local news that shows Christians doing loving things.

    I think this guy is probably a British satirist making fun [& a small profit] at the expense of both “sides” ~ only his Christian subscribers aren’t getting it

    Anyway, look at his onkneesforjesus blogspot & decide for yourselves

    • microraptor
      Posted January 10, 2013 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

      My life is all about getting on my knees and faithfully servicing Jesus until He comes.

      This guy has to be trolling Christians. No way does a line like that get used by accident.

  28. marcusa1971
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 3:32 pm | Permalink

    I’m not going to watch the clip, life’s to short for 3 minutes of creationism (Or is it cretinism?) I’ll watch some porn instead, as it’s much more informative.
    However I saw a very good illustration of the “missing link” argument on Futurama the other day:

  29. kimia4pix
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 9:19 pm | Permalink

    I was in the middle of reading one of your wonderful articles and seeing your post motivated me to make you a song. here’s part of the lyrics 🙂

    I said, Dr. Coyne, what’s evolution?
    He said, it’s based on Darwin’s set of conclusions.
    It’s now a theory, with much attestation,
    actuated by natural selection and gene mutations.
    It’s as a clear as the gravitational manifestation!

    He said, but it’s a religious intrusion,
    and I need seclusion from the god revolution!
    Pseudoscience is no science!
    It’s just an interpretation with no factual conclusion!
    It’s exasperation, not a revelation!
    But boy, what an imagination!


  30. Posted January 9, 2013 at 10:35 pm | Permalink

    Lady Hope was just following Eusebius’ advice to lie for Yeshua. And Duane Gish loves to lie for morality in thinking that should students learn about evolution, they’d act badly, but his own lies indirectly belie that!
    I had to redo my blogs at wordpress. com. LamberthG @ Twitter promotes them and my blogspots,tumblrs and
    I relish retirement so I can do my work of helping people overcoming their superstition on the internet.

  31. Posted January 9, 2013 at 10:38 pm | Permalink

    pilgrimpater,you made a donkey out of the Buy-bull!
    How could one have a relationship with a square circle or married bachelor that is God?

  32. alias Ernest Major
    Posted January 10, 2013 at 2:56 pm | Permalink

    Darwin being Shrewsbury’s favourite son (the town mall is the Darwin Centre), for the last significant anniversary the folk festival operated a Darwin Song Project.

    “We’ll Hunt Him Down” is satire, but I suspect that many creationists wouldn’t notice.

  33. Atom
    Posted January 12, 2013 at 4:34 am | Permalink

    I still love the the “Hominid Rap”

  34. Stanley
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

    growing up in a pentecostal family, and being a pastor’s son, I have to admit, I used to sing this with great vigour and glee during the church camps we had in Dubai, and even sing it to my friends at school. Almost a decade later, as an atheist, I look back with amusement. Oh the days of ignorance!

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