Happy Koynezaa!

Although everything’s closed (except Chinese restaurants) because the goyim are celebrating, I must also remind you that today marks the beginning of my own personal holiday, Koynezaa, a six-day fête (ending on December 30, my birthday) devoting to celebrating the wonder that is your host.  I’ll begin the celebration by presenting a selection of audiovisual treats, beginning with the Christmas Cat song.

And here’s Tard, the famous grumpy cat—made even grumpier by his forced donning of a festive chapeau:


From Buzzfeed we have a great selection of “29 guilty faces of cats in Christmas trees“. Here are a few favorites:

Picture 3

Picture 5

Picture 4

Picture 2

And my holiday card for all the readers:

Xmas 2Happy Koynezaa! I’ll be here all week, folks.


  1. Grania Spingies
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 8:45 am | Permalink

    Happy Koynezaa to you to.

    [Hint to all: send your birthday cards now!]

  2. Posted December 25, 2012 at 8:55 am | Permalink

    2. Happy Koynezea to you too! 🙂

  3. Pete Moulton
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 9:05 am | Permalink

    And a Happy Koynezaa, to you too, Jerry!

  4. Hempenstein
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 9:06 am | Permalink

    Brilliant card!

    It’s not snowing in Pittsburgh, nor is there any white left here today, but since it looks like you may be getting some in Chicago this SNL piece with Candace Bergen and the original cast is what comes to mind when the snow starts coming down (it’s the only version that I found that was free from commercial interruption – from Russia!)

    Free from all mention of deities, feline or otherwise, to boot.

  5. JonLynnHarvey
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 9:15 am | Permalink

    Happy Koynezaa,

    If you want to get “ecumenical”, Isaac Newton’s birthday is today (older Julian calendar still used when he was born, not current Gregorian calendar),

    and if you like “Twilight Zone” today is Rod Serling’s birthday. You can probably watch a lot of his stuff on Netflix streaming or Amazon streaming if you feel like celebrating.

    • Dave
      Posted December 25, 2012 at 9:56 am | Permalink

      Not to mention it is also the birthday of the two eldest sons – two years apart! – of Pierre Trudeau. Trudeau was accused of having a gawd complex but, hey, the evidence, the evidence!!

  6. ForCarl
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 9:24 am | Permalink

    Jerry- you have just given me a great idea for a new way to celebrate the season. From now on Dec. 25th can be the start of the party time countdown to my birthday on Jan. 1st. Maybe I could borrow from another tradition and tell my family that this means I should get a present every night of that week! Think they’ll go for it?

  7. Roo
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 9:47 am | Permalink

    Aw, happy Koynezaa! First, can we establish some dysfunctional e-family holiday traditions? Perhaps a favorite creatonist comes over, complains about the food, makes back-handed compliments insinuating everyone has gained weight, and then passes out in the eggnog? Just a thought. Holidays should be special.

    Or maybe a Jerry appreciation thread instead. My three favorite things about this website and Mr. Coyne… perhaps that would be more fun. Hmm. Now I must ponder my top three.

  8. Nom de Plume
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 9:50 am | Permalink

    Everything’s closed in Chicago? Where I live, the supermarkets are open, the movie theaters are especially open, most of the restaurants (including non-Chinese) are open. Hotels and motels also, of course. I think the rarity anymore is something being not open.

  9. alexandra
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 9:59 am | Permalink

    Did you know that you can get a jesus kite ? even the skies are not safe.
    Lo and Behold – It’s a bird! It’s a drone!
    It’s superman ! It’s jesus!

    To see the kite you have to go to the FAB site

    Jesus Kite
    He Is Risen
    Hark! Up in the sky! Art thou a bird? Art thou a plane? Nay! ‘Tis the Jesus Kite, spreading the Word from on high and providing hours of fun for any Jesus Kite Superstar. Whether you’re a Christian, Jew, or Atheist, it’s a celebration for all denominations. We’ve heard that Jesus saves. But wait ‘til you see him soar.
    Scott Schneweis
    Kids can fly kites with Batman and Spider-Man on them, so why not Jesus? Jesus was the first superhero and he totally deserves it.

  10. jesse
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 10:47 am | Permalink

    You might enjoy this popular youtube video on how to wrap a cat for christmas. 7 million hits and growing each year.

  11. Posted December 25, 2012 at 11:02 am | Permalink

    Happy Koynezaa to you, too! 🙂

    Here, in, as Mr Deity called it, the Yahweh’s backyard, everything except gas stations and drug stores is closed, too. Ah, and churches of course. I even got some “evil looks” from people leaving the nearby place of worship because I chose today of all days to pick up my Iron Rx.

    • Posted December 25, 2012 at 11:03 am | Permalink

      The churches are open. Clear as usual. Sorry about that.

  12. Mark Joseph
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 11:31 am | Permalink


    You share a birthday with Sandy Koufax! OK, as a Chicagoan that may not mean all that much to you, but to me and every other male who grew up in Los Angeles in the 1960s, that puts you in a very elite class!

    Merry Kitzmas/Christmas/Xmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa/Koynezaa, Peaceful Winter Solstice, Groovy Festivus to all, with no denigration expressed or implied to any who may celebrate more than one, or none, of these holidays.

    • NWalsh
      Posted December 25, 2012 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

      Mark,I am in southern British Columbia. I can remember Vin Scully calling a Koufax no hitter (either 1964 or 1965) on AFRTS radio. I’m a life long Giant fan but can appreciate perfection, both by player and broadcaster. Cheers.

      • Mark Joseph
        Posted December 25, 2012 at 5:18 pm | Permalink

        Hello N. Walsh:
        If it was the no-hitter against the Giants, it was in 1963; he did have them again in 1964 and 1965 (the perfect game against the Cubs–another Chicago connection).

        Atheist (hopefully), evolutionist (presumably, since you are here), Giants fan (explicitly)–two out of three ain’t bad! 😉 But (grumble, grumble) congratulations on your two World Series wins in the last three years.

        • NWalsh
          Posted December 25, 2012 at 6:58 pm | Permalink

          Hello, thanks. We wont be able to spot you 7 or so games at the beginning of next season – Should be interesting.

  13. Nathan
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    Indian restaurants are usually open too. It’s a good day for some Lamb Rogonjosh with Naan bread. (Indian food > Chinese food, imho)

  14. Torbjörn Larsson, OM
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 12:36 pm | Permalink

    God Jul/Good Yule and a happy coyne-tuniation!

    But that song – oh, pooh! Too much vowel movement.

    • Torbjörn Larsson, OM
      Posted December 25, 2012 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

      Oops, coyne-tinuation of course. The celebratory spirits over here is overwhelming at times.

  15. Posted December 25, 2012 at 12:37 pm | Permalink


    Can we come to celebrate your bday, Dr.C?!

  16. marycanada FCD
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

    Happy Koynezaa! Love the card btw

  17. js
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    We share a birthday.

  18. Marella
    Posted December 25, 2012 at 10:45 pm | Permalink

    Hey, that’s my Xmas card! For anyone who’d like to visit the blog of the friend who made this card for me,


    Michelle is an atheist and none of her cards have religious themes but she’s not ‘strident’ about it because the card making community is generally quite religious and she doesn’t want to lose followers.

    Merry Kissmyass to you all! 😉

  19. Thornpack
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 2:36 am | Permalink

    Goyim: Those who pay happily pay retail for neccesary items such as gold, diamonds and fur coats. They also allow their daughters to marry schmucks who are not rich and uneducated. These people are neccesary members of our society who do not become doctors, lawyers, and accountants and never visit New York City

  20. johnnyrodgersmorris
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 9:53 am | Permalink

    Actually, Tardar Sauce The Grumpy Cat is a female.

%d bloggers like this: