P. Z. pouts and rages as cats sweep to victory

Having been thoroughly trounced in the cat/dog/baby poll at Pajiba, P.Z. has resorted to pouting on the internet, accusing his minions of treason.  Faced with this decisive result (and don’t get complacent folks—the poll runs till May 10):

he’s taken to posting a pouty picture pretending that squids are smarter than cats. Note that in this picture the cat is dead.

P. Z. is apparently furious that many of his minions, who apparently like cats rather than tentacled invertebrates, have “betrayed” him (his words). Well, let’s do the above experiment on dry land and see who wins!

As one of his treasonous commenters noted:

PZ, cats are far more intelligent than cephalopods. They have enslaved an entire species who now cater to their every need. Those octopi? Stuck doing the work for themselves.

37 Comments

  1. Posted April 16, 2012 at 6:20 am | Permalink

    “Well, let’s do the above experiment on dry land and see who wins!”

    I say: let’s do the above experiment on BOTH dry land and underwater.

    Amphibians rule!!!

  2. Posted April 16, 2012 at 6:21 am | Permalink

    It is a very good cartoon though – he does not say who did the drawing – is PZ also a talented artist as well as an octopodiac?

  3. Sigmund
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 6:26 am | Permalink

    Why is the squid wearing an octopus costume?

    • Heber
      Posted April 16, 2012 at 8:28 am | Permalink

      I was gonna say the exact same thing.

    • Michael Simpson
      Posted April 16, 2012 at 9:18 am | Permalink

      Are we saying that PZ Myers made an error identifying a squid. That’s it. Obviously I was wrong about the whole atheism thing. I need to join a church. As a Free Agent, I wonder if they’ll pay me.

  4. Posted April 16, 2012 at 6:34 am | Permalink

    Methinks Professor Zapinsky will be getting a visit from the ethics board for this one…and, considering it’s a sure-fire bet they didn’t approve the experiment as conducted, from the HR department, as well….

    b&

  5. Posted April 16, 2012 at 6:37 am | Permalink

    While I’ve never tried cat, my guess is that octopus tastes better :-)

  6. Mel
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 6:47 am | Permalink

    Gloating is so unbecoming. Leave such behavior to the Zed.

  7. bonetired
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 7:03 am | Permalink

    All returning money and anyway the cephalopod isn’t very well….

    Here is the sick squid I owe you ….

  8. pwuk
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 7:19 am | Permalink

    Dry land? probably just sit there and lick their privates. At least that’s what my 2 would do.

  9. mordacious1
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 8:42 am | Permalink

    Actually, this problem has been solved by the development of catfish.

  10. अहंनास्मि (Ahannāsmi)
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 8:57 am | Permalink

    I will be “treasonous” here and suggest that 5000 votes in a couple of days on a not-so-earth-shattering poll question suggests that one of the many competent programmers who frequent this weblog decided to write a bot (and also be smart about it: just a few thousand votes a day rather than in a few minutes, to avoid getting blocked).

    I can only hope that the competent programmer in question does not turn out to be a Professor of Biological Sciences at the University of Chicago. :)

    • mordacious1
      Posted April 16, 2012 at 9:09 am | Permalink

      It’s called, fighting fire with fire…

    • whyevolutionistrue
      Posted April 16, 2012 at 9:51 am | Permalink

      I’ve never written a computer program in my life! What a scurrilous and baseless charge!
      I can only assume that there are dozens of cat lovers suddenly emerging from the woodwork.

      • अहंनास्मि (Ahannāsmi)
        Posted April 16, 2012 at 6:36 pm | Permalink

        I am sorry, Prof. Choyne, I was just joking, and didn’t mean any harm. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have posted the comment at all.

    • Posted April 16, 2012 at 2:52 pm | Permalink

      4 SHAME. NOWAI DAT I KNOE HOW 2 PROGRAM WIF IMACRO. KITTEHS CANT POSIBLY DO THEES THINGS ANYWAY. ESPECIALLY FRUM BLACKBERRY. NEEDZ EXPOSABLE THUMBS 2 DO DIS.

      –BUTTR KITTEH

      This Message Was Sent From My BlackBerry!

      • Posted April 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

        Dunno ’bout you, Buttr, but Baihu has no trouble exposing his thumbs…and then sinking them into my shoulders and back as he keeps his balance. In that sense, one might even say that they provide lots of opposition, too….

        b&

        • Posted April 16, 2012 at 3:46 pm | Permalink

          GIMIE BREAK! I MEANT DISPOSABLE THUMBS. STOOPID BLUEBERRY MEANT 4 TINY JAPANEES PAWZ. OH LOOK! WE HAS LAWTS MOAR VOTEZ. MUST BE A BRAZILIAN KITTEHS COMIN OUT 4 DA CAUSE!

          Do You Prefer:
          Adorable Pictures of Babies?
          0%
          Adorable Pictures of Puppies?
          5%
          Adorable Pictures of Kittens?
          80%
          All of the Above
          2%
          None of the Above
          10%

          Total Votes: 17,287

          • Posted April 16, 2012 at 4:22 pm | Permalink

            MUST NOT EVER DISPOSE OF KITTEH THUMBS! NEVER NO WAY NO HOW! KITTEH THUMBS NOT DISPOSABLE! KITTEH THUMBS MOST PRECIOUS AND MUST ALWAYS REMAIN ATTACHED TO KITTEH!

            b&

  11. daveau
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 9:54 am | Permalink

    Congratulations to Jerry on this most impressive exercise in the use of applied interweb power. I suspect this won’t be the last word on the subject from PZ.

    • whyevolutionistrue
      Posted April 16, 2012 at 10:02 am | Permalink

      THERE IS NO NEED TO CALL IT TO HIS ATTENTION.

      • daveau
        Posted April 16, 2012 at 10:16 am | Permalink

        I’m quite sure he feels the disturbance in the force.

      • steve oberski
        Posted April 16, 2012 at 11:50 am | Permalink

        THEN WHY ARE YOU USING ALL CAPS ?

  12. mordacious1
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 11:16 am | Permalink

    PZed:
    I was in Australia, I had to give a speech at a conference. I ran out of gas. I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn’t my fault, I swear to god!

    With all due apologies to Jake Blues.

  13. Nyanko Sensei
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 11:29 am | Permalink

    Woah, the count is now:
    Picture of Kittens: 79%
    None of the above = 10%.
    The march towards total baby feline dominance continues.

  14. Torbjörn Larsson, OM
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    The average cephalopod has 9 arms (10*#squids + 8*#octopi/2*(#squids+#octopi); probably more like 10).

    But the average cat has 9 _lives_.

    Kittehs ftw!

    • infiniteimprobabilit
      Posted April 17, 2012 at 2:32 am | Permalink

      Oh I *like* that statistic.

      My kitteh is definitely above average – she has 4 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears – while the ‘average’ kitteh has slightly less (say, 3.99999 or 1.99999 of each, taking into account those unfortunates who have lost bits).

      Of course, most kittehs are above average in the same way…

  15. debonnesnouvelles
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 11:46 am | Permalink

    Since when is worthiness of affection measurable with intelligence tests (under water)? Think some squid fans have misunderstood something there…

  16. David
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm | Permalink

    I betrayed you both, puppies everytime. I am unable to have a dog, but have found my self recently comtemplating the idea of a Cat. I dont know if its because i looked after one recently ,and he only savaged me a few times that week or, if its some kind of atheist brainwashing, its certainly nothing subliminal.

    • Scote
      Posted April 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

      Please, cats are like people and have different personalities–well, they have the various standard cat behaviors in different proportions, much as every Taco Bell offering is made up of some combination of the 5 basic Taco Bell ingredients. So you just need the *right* cat. Some cats are way snugglier and more social than others.

      • David
        Posted April 16, 2012 at 3:20 pm | Permalink

        Dont get me wrong, i kinda enjoyed the attempted evicerations by rakeing back claws. Im sure it was affection, he wagged his tail and everything.

        • Posted April 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm | Permalink

          Erm…you do know that tail-wagging in cats is a sign of annoyance, not affection?

          The grab-with-front-and-rake-with-rear is also an attack move. It can come out in play, but only in roughhousing when the cat is especially excited — and is generally pretty well moderated.

          For whatever reason, that cat really doesn’t like you. It could be a feral that you’ve cornered, or it could be that you’re sending all the worng signals (especially dog-type signals) and he thinks you’re attacking / threatening / dominating / otherwise being nasty towards him.

          Scote’s right. Some cats will hop onto the first lap they see, and others (especially feral cats who’ve never had direct contact with humans) won’t even let you get near them without a fight. But, if you know how to speak cat and if the cat doesn’t have a fear of humans, there’s no reason a near-instant bond can’t be formed. I’ve given belly rubs to cats within a minute of meeting them — and this is with cats whose staff were shocked and insisted that said cats hate belly rubs.

          In your case, though, I’d recommend waiting a wile before going for the belly rubs….

          b&

          • David
            Posted April 16, 2012 at 4:26 pm | Permalink

            I appreciate the replies folks, and the tail wagging was a little joke. Charlie is a well looked after cat, and affectionate to the people he lives with, although he does occasionally do the rakeing if you reach down when he is purring and rubbing your legs like he wants to be picked up, im sure its his little joke. And i did enjoy cat sitting, especially on the few occasions he didnt treat me with complete indifference.

  17. MadScientist
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm | Permalink

    Many varieties of squid/octopus/cuttlefish are even eaten by the cats’ pets. Although the cats themselves don’t seem to care for the squishy tentacled creatures, they get their human pets to feed them other marine organisms.

  18. Dawn Oz
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm | Permalink

    10 legs bad
    4 legs good

    we have spoken.


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