God helps Broncos defeat the Bears

Because Jesus is on the side of the Denver Broncos football team, they once again pulled out a last-minute victory, kicking a field goal in overtime to beat our Chicago Bears 13-10.  The Broncos got the extra time they needed to win when Chicago running back Marion Barber ran out of bounds, stopping the clock.

And for those who argued that Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow doesn’t think that God helps bring victory to him and his team,  listen to what he said about Barber’s out-of-bounds run:

“I might have thanked the Lord when he did that. I mean, we probably would have had 10 seconds if he stayed inbounds, but it was just special.”

and

“If you believe, unbelievable things can sometimes be possible.”

I guess that if you don’t believe, such things aren’t possible.

71 Comments

  1. Posted December 13, 2011 at 4:13 am | Permalink

    I was under the impression that God was an English man. I’m surprised He knows the rules of American football.

  2. Posted December 13, 2011 at 4:21 am | Permalink

    Is there anything in the rule book about penalties for interference in a game by 3rd parties?

  3. Teemo
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 4:22 am | Permalink

    God can play favorites in football, because only one team has someone with true faith.

    • Teemo
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 4:38 am | Permalink

      Also, I hope Tebow gets raptured during the Super Bowl, if they make it, and that it costs them the game.

  4. Sidd
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 5:01 am | Permalink

    Checkmate, atheists.

  5. Posted December 13, 2011 at 5:08 am | Permalink

    It’s always puzzled me as to why Christians don’t celebrate Blamegiving as well as Thanksgiving. After all, isn’t God responsible for both their wins and losses?

    • Posted December 13, 2011 at 5:12 am | Permalink

      They do that on all the other days of the year.

    • Dr. I. Needtob Athe
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 9:19 am | Permalink

      “One of the striking differences between modern, ‘organized’ religion and tribal or folk religions–religions without seminaries and theologians and official books–is that in tribal religions they have no double standard! They thank their gods for the good stuff that happens and blame them for the bad. The idea that God is a worthy recipient of our gratitude for the blessings of life but should not be held accountable for the disasters is a transparently disingenuous innovation of the theologians…” — Dan Dennett

      More:
      http://onfaith.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/panelists/daniel_c_dennett/2010/01/problem_of_evil_and_religions_double_standard.html

      • E.A. Blair
        Posted December 13, 2011 at 6:36 pm | Permalink

        That makes me wonder – has anyone ever tried to file a lawsuit for reprations for damages caused by “acts of god”? Of course we couldn’t expect the deity itself to respond to s subpoena, but a claim could be filed against its earthly representtives – the pope, Archbishop of Canterbury, the local bishop and clergy, etc…

        • Diane G.
          Posted December 14, 2011 at 2:49 am | Permalink

          Oh, yes:

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawsuits_against_God

        • InfiniteImprobabilit
          Posted December 17, 2011 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

          That is, in fact, the plot of ‘the Man Who Sued God’, an Aussie film with Billy Connolly in the lead role. As the man, that is, not as God.

          • E.A. Blair
            Posted December 17, 2011 at 10:52 pm | Permalink

            Thanks for that. My local library has a copy.

    • Occam
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 12:00 pm | Permalink

      “It’s always puzzled me as to why Christians don’t celebrate Blamegiving as well as Thanksgiving.”

      You know that Woody Allen, in his “Hassidic Tales”, mentions “the sacred Jewish holiday commemorating God’s reneging on every promise” ?

  6. MosesZD
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 5:25 am | Permalink

    I believe if you hold teams to 10 points… You should win over 90% of the time. Even if Tebow is your QB.

    • Jolo
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 7:35 am | Permalink

      So you are saying God plays defence for the Broncos?

      In their 7-2 record since Tebow started they have averaged 20.9 ppg while allowing 21.2 and they have played teams with an average record of 6-7. The Broncos offence isn’t that good, but they do have a defence that will keep them in games.

      I guess if they beat the Patriots this week you will know they must have someone on their side as Belichek is the devil IIRC.

  7. Posted December 13, 2011 at 5:32 am | Permalink

    I wonder if other players feel bad when these people say God helped them. Like, “Um, we won because of my awesome sports ball skill. I don’t need an all powerful being to help me.”

    And what part of that game was unbelievable that the only reason for a win was magic?

    • Entertaining Doubts
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 7:37 am | Permalink

      I didn’t see the game (don’t follow sports at all), but you make a good point in your second para. In most professional endeavors, it’s considered important to analyze what’s going on (at least periodically) so your performance can improve over time. Learn to repeat successful behaviors and avoid repeating unsuccessful ones, and all that.

      If your response to a particular successful play or won game is “goddidit,” you’re admitting you don’t think it’s worth examining to see if some of the factors in your success can be replicated in the next game or in the training for next season. I know, football is a high-speed dynamic situation with lots of variables, etc., and plenty of things happen that look like flukes or accidents, but it seems purely defeatist to attribute all the successes to an inscrutable third party.

      Eff the ineffable, I say!

      • Entertaining Doubts
        Posted December 13, 2011 at 7:39 am | Permalink

        To be clear, I’m using the universal “you,” not the personal “you,” Eric.

  8. George
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 6:11 am | Permalink

    It has always fascinated me that success is God’s help and failure is lack of faith. If only this were true than there would clearly be many more atheists than polls indicate.

    • Microraptor
      Posted December 15, 2011 at 12:46 am | Permalink

      If someone else fails, it’s because they lacked faith.

      If YOU fail it’s because God has a plan/needs to test you/was out to lunch.

  9. Dominic
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 6:39 am | Permalink

    Now I REALLY do not like them!

  10. John K.
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 6:41 am | Permalink

    If you really believe there is a powerful supernatural agent that can actually affect the outcome of a football game in your favor, how the heck is this not cheating? If a powerful psychic was steering the ball around from the sidelines, this is obviously an unfair advantage. Once again, God gets a special exemption.

    I wonder what apologetics Tebow has ready for when he fails to win the Superbowl. Somehow I doubt he will look to the heavens and say “Where the heck were you on that one?!” after he throws a game changing interception.

  11. Posted December 13, 2011 at 6:42 am | Permalink

    God has tremendous arm strength, goood vision downfield and excellent foot speed – the big guy can scramble. Shouldn’t he be playing for the Saints?

  12. Mark
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 6:43 am | Permalink

    I thought god was a Dallas Cowboys fan.

    • NelsonMuntz
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 8:16 pm | Permalink

      Not for the last 15 years or so.

      • Diane G.
        Posted December 14, 2011 at 3:00 am | Permalink

        One of a jillion versions of this joke:

        The Big Game

        It was Super Bowl Sunday,and there was this man in Heaven names Scott. Scott was gloomy and sitting around looking sad. St. Peter came up to him and asked Scott why he was so sad. Scott said, “It’s Super Bowl Sunday on earth, and I just miss it that’s all.” St. Peter said, “oh, is that all. We have football in Heaven too and we are also having a big game.” Scott’s eyes lit up as he said, “Really?” “Really,”said St. Peter,”come with me and I’ll show you.” Scott followed St. Peter to the field where the big game was beening played and he looked puzzled. The jersey’s had letters on them instead on numbers. St. Peter told Scott that instead of numbers they used initials of the position that the player was playing. Like QB is quarterback, TE is tight end, etc. Scott said, “Oh, I get it.” He looked around and said “Hey, who is that guy on the sideline, and what does TL stand for.” St. Peter whispered, “Oh that’s God, He thinks he’s Tom Landry.”

  13. John McAuley
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 6:53 am | Permalink

    xkcd said it best http://xkcd.com/904/

  14. oldfuzz
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 7:00 am | Permalink

    Fundamentalist Christians know the King James Version of the Bible is absolute on this point:

    “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.” Matthew 6:5

    • Notagod
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 11:22 am | Permalink

      “Suck it, Jesus” Griffin 9:7

    • E.A. Blair
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 6:39 pm | Permalink

      The bible also tells us that baseball is the oldest of the sports: “In the big inning, god created the heavens and the earth”.

      • FreedToChoose
        Posted December 13, 2011 at 9:29 pm | Permalink

        That’s been redacted from my copy, but I believe.

      • Diane G.
        Posted December 14, 2011 at 3:02 am | Permalink

        lol!

  15. Your Name's not Bruce?
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 7:06 am | Permalink

    So all you starving people out there keep those prayers down low until the lord finishes the game!

  16. vel
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 7:11 am | Permalink

    gee, I guess that the folks who really believe and then end up allowing their children to die from treatable diseases just aren’t doing it “right”.

    It baffles me, these people aren’t smart enough to see how this makes them and their god seem like greedy idiots?

  17. Joanna
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 7:22 am | Permalink

    But doesn’t that mean there’s no god for the losing team? I mean, how can such a loving god let the other team lose? Doesn’t he love all his children the same?

  18. Posted December 13, 2011 at 7:23 am | Permalink

    I am continually amazed at the superficiality of evangelicals. The God that created the universe actually took the time to nudge the ball carrier out of bounds? How egocentric can a person be? But, It does make a good story that gullible people love. Can secularism match such effective recruiting? Yes, it can by the magnificence and power of nature. Evolution vs. an out of bounds play? There is no competition.

    • Posted December 13, 2011 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

      Yup, it is amazing that the Creator of the Universe cares for me personally in ways great and small. …why doesn’t he care for The Other Guys??? Remember, “Only a remnant will be saved.” A guiding principle for Evolution as well as Calvinism.

      @WEIT: (A => B) => (~A => ~B)???

  19. Darth Dog
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 7:36 am | Permalink

    If you take Tim Tebow’s prayers and strip out all the football details, they are basically as follows.

    Dear God,

    Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
    Let me win. Give it to me. Make mine better. Make me more important. Make me more successful. Make me more famous.
    Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

    Your humble servant,
    Tim

    • Still learning
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 8:40 am | Permalink

      Exactly!

    • Chris Booth
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 10:00 am | Permalink

      Thread-winner.

      What oft (in this thread) were thought,
      but ne’er so well expressed.

      This smug spoiled frat-boy jock brat bully thinks that his entertainment activity is more important than events at CERN, famines, wars, cancer, cancer of children, and all the rest. He really feels that a supernatural force is better spent on his own petty egoism than on issues that cause death and suffering on grand scales? Despicable. (Nothing new, but no less despicable.)

  20. Chris K
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 8:09 am | Permalink

    Jerry,

    It’s Marion Barber, not “Brooks”.

    • whyevolutionistrue
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 8:18 am | Permalink

      Correccted the second error. Thanks.

  21. christopher
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 9:14 am | Permalink

    clearly, gawd is a Packers fan, at least this season. and he’s beenknown to favor the Saints, despite their association with that sinful city that god tried to wipe out with a hurricane.

  22. gr8hands
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    I doubt “god” is assisting Tebow, as he clearly looks, sounds and acts gay to me (full disclosure: I’m gay).

    I think his “god” doesn’t approve of that, so isn’t likely to help his servant that is “coveting” his neighbor’s ass.

  23. christopher
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 9:41 am | Permalink

    had to look it up, not being football fan, but according to tebowism, the colts,who are 0 for 13 thus far, must be either satanists or atheists, perhaps he should ask to be traded for a mission to convert the heathens!

    • Jolo
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

      That is because the Colts’ deity is out with a neck injury (see Manning, Peyton).

  24. mikeyB
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 10:02 am | Permalink

    Powerful supernatural agents get into FB players heads causing them to go out of bounds at inappropriate times so Tebow can thank the Lord. Meanwhile supernatural agents seem to be absent during the massive deaths in Haitian earthquakes and Indian Ocean tsunami’s among more recent events. These agents seem to be also involved in granting Pujols an obscene amount of cash for being able to hit a bat 30-40% of the time successfully. Hallelujah! Interesting, these agents seem to be preoccupied by the trivial.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_natural_disasters_by_death_toll

  25. DaveinWY
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 10:17 am | Permalink

    Woodyard, who caused the fumble in OT, said at one point in the game, Tebow came up to him and told him not to worry cause God had spoken to him. Woodyard comes across as a religious fellow also, so maybe he’s inventing that conversion, but yikes……

  26. grrbear
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 10:22 am | Permalink

    Calls into question the whole issue of free will, if God can control Barber into running out of bounds. Without free will, then a win or loss is meaningless, as it reduces the players to game pieces on a board. God is playing with himself.

    • christopher
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 6:02 pm | Permalink

      excuse the 12 yr-old in me but “God is playing with himself”…hahahaha.

  27. eric
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    I am scratching my head why his faith is even a story. Did religious sports stars suddenly become unusual? Did other famous people stop attributing their good fortune to God in the last 5 minutes?

    Heck, a more surprising story would be if some reporter asked a QB who has helped him achieve greatness, and the QB didn’t mention Jesus.

    Now, I dislike Tebow. But that’s because I want to see the Raiders win the AFC West. I couldn’t care less about the guy’s religion. Which, IMO, is the way it should be.

    • Jolo
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 12:16 pm | Permalink

      It is about Tim Tebow’s religion because Tebow puts forth his relgion. IIRC he was in a Focus on the Family ad before he had started a game in the NFL. Tebow put his religion out there and made it (and continues to make it the story).

      • eric
        Posted December 13, 2011 at 1:08 pm | Permalink

        That tells me that Tebow wanted it in the news. It doesn’t tell me why journalists agreed it was newsworthy. As I said, the vast majority of celebrities thank Jesus constantly; this is not considered news (except maybe by Fox).

        • Jolo
          Posted December 13, 2011 at 2:32 pm | Permalink

          Because it appeals to a segment of their viewership (or readership)?

          • Jolo
            Posted December 14, 2011 at 11:55 am | Permalink

            I thought about this some more.

            Have you ever been in a group of people that play an MMO (Like World of Warcraft, City of Heroes or whatever)? They like to always bring the conversation back to the game because they need the reassurance that they are not crazy for playing this silly game.

  28. ForCarl
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    Oh Da Bears. It breaks my heart. Injuries, injuries… Why is god being so mean to them this year? I want to see a reporter ask Tebow that question.

    • eric
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

      Mean? This isn’t mean – what he does to the Cubs is mean.

  29. Nom de Plume
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    The only part of this that bugs me is that when Tebow’s luck eventually runs out (which it will, because he is a woefully untalented quarterback) and the Broncos start losing again, nobody in the press will have the balls to ask him, “Where was God today? Why didn’t he help you? Did you forget to pray?”.

  30. Posted December 13, 2011 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    In Tebow’s defense, I actually watched that interview live (unusual for me since I rarely watch football), and it didn’t come across as quite so bad in context.

    The ‘I might have thanked the Lord when he did that’ statement was in response to a question from the reporter, and seemed like the typical Christian tactic of thanking God for everything.

    And the quote about ‘believing’, I had thought, was about believing in the team and what they were capable of, not belief in the divine.

    Oh well, it’s still silly.

  31. Solomon Wagstaff
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 11:40 am | Permalink

    During last season’s NFL playoffs, there was a wide receiver who dropped what would probably have been a game-winning touchdown pass. He sent out a resentful tweet to Jesus, peevishly noting that he had given ‘all praise to You, & then You do this to me!’ Fortunately, he apologized in time to avoid being smited. Smitten. Smout. Whatever.

    • mordacious1
      Posted December 13, 2011 at 12:14 pm | Permalink

      Stevie Johnson should have known that jesus wasn’t a big fan when he allowed him to get drafted by the Buffalo Bills.

  32. bigjohn756
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 1:55 pm | Permalink

    Just imagine how much better Green Bay would be doing if they had Tebow as their quarterback.

  33. S A GOULD
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 3:36 pm | Permalink

    They were playing the Bears and God had to intervene? Really? Was that even necessary? (Just I am a Chicago Bears fan.)

  34. Robert Michl
    Posted December 13, 2011 at 4:50 pm | Permalink

    The Green Bay Packers are 13 and O.
    Does that mean God is a Packers fan as well?
    And what if the two teams meet, will God help the Broncos or the Packers? 🙂 A tie?
    What if it’s the Super Bowl?
    Is God allowed to switch teams?
    Hahaha! Oh wait, they will sing “God bless America” so everybody wins. What about the rest of the world if God is busy blessing America?

    • John Weiss
      Posted December 14, 2011 at 5:44 am | Permalink

      The Gods are everyone’s fan.

  35. Posted December 13, 2011 at 7:28 pm | Permalink

    Buffalo Bills fans are living proof that hell exists.

  36. sponge bob
    Posted December 14, 2011 at 1:28 am | Permalink

    I believe (hehe) that having strong faith and confidence in something helps one operate near the outside regions of the bell curve… where 99% of the public are unwilling to go.

    Tim was supposedly almost aborted, so he’s probably extra thankful just to be alive and having the experience of playing in the NFL.

    Frankly, the National Felon League could use a few more Tebows. He’s got a great message for kids especially:

    Work hard, have confidence, and believe in yourself and your teamates and you may achieve great things in life.

    Noth’n wrong with that message, whether atheist, believer,… or a Bears fan.

  37. Robert Michl
    Posted January 1, 2012 at 5:14 pm | Permalink

    Did he forget to pray today? Hail Mary?


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