My rodential offspring: name him

I’ve seen only one young squirrel in this year’s crop, but I’m sure this one’s mine—that is, I am sure that, by feeding his mom copiously, I helped bring him into being. What pride!

And, today I verified that it’s a male, for he stood up while eating a peanut, and, sure enough, he had a penis.  So, I’m asking readers what I should call him. I’m sure he’ll be around for a while, for, as you can see, he’s in very good shape.  Here he is drinking water and nomming his seeds (he went for the birdseed, too):

115 Comments

  1. Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:18 pm | Permalink

    Well, we could continue the tradition started by Gayle….

    b&

  2. Janet
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:19 pm | Permalink

    How about JC? Both for your initials and for its irreverent reference.

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted June 2, 2014 at 8:23 am | Permalink

      How about JC?

      I wish to make a complaint…
      Sorry sir, we’re just closing for lunch!
      … about this here parrot which I purchased from this very boutique not half an hour ago.

      • Janet
        Posted June 2, 2014 at 9:06 am | Permalink

        Dear gravelinspector-Aidan, I’m afraid you will have to educate the uninformed here as to how this relates to JC. I had to google it to find out it is from a Monty Python skit (yes, THAT uninformed).

        • infiniteimprobabilit
          Posted June 3, 2014 at 1:32 am | Permalink

          Ah. One of the few people in the world to have never heard of the Dead Parrot Sketch.

          You will find a working knowledge of Monty Python is a great help in following comments on this ‘ere notablog.

          JC = John Cleese

          • infiniteimprobabilit
            Posted June 3, 2014 at 1:45 am | Permalink

            … as reflected in Not The Nine O’clock News ‘vice versa’ take on Our Lord John Cleese the Comic Messiah:
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asUyK6JWt9U

            • Janet
              Posted June 3, 2014 at 6:10 am | Permalink

              Thanks mucho – its never too late to learn!

        • gravelinspector-Aidan
          Posted June 4, 2014 at 3:56 am | Permalink

          OH dear, oh very dear.
          In the hooplah around the Life of Brian, there were many public disembowellings (is that too strong? No.), in caricature, of the Bishop of Southwark following his hilariously weak performance against Cleese an Palin on a “serious chat” arts show.
          One of these caricature disembowellings inverted the state of the nation and had Britain a society of Pythonists, and the Bishop presenting a heretical, blasphemous film called “Life of Christ”. And the Pythonist establishment were up in arms about all the un-subtle insults to Pythonism embodied in this “Life of Christ” film – for example “Even the initials are the same : Jesus Christ – John Cleese” [indignant outrage].
          It was AB-so-LUTE-ly EFF-ing HIL-ari-OUS. Rolling in the aisles, helpless with mirth stuff. Delivered deadpan, with vitriol and savagery. A tour de force for the power of satire to render the powerful powerless.
          And in the middle, part of the Pythonist liturgy : “where so ever three or more are gathered together, they shall perform the Parrot Sketch.”
          Maybe you had to be there at the time. Repeats don’t have the effect of getting the original (hilarious) broadcast on the Friday, and from the Monday onwards (Not …) a stream of savage indictment of the god squad. Then spending most of the Religious Education class at school mid-week “debating” the topic, and finding that for once I wasn’t the target of vitriol from the GodSquad in the year group, because they knew they were on the back foot.
          Sorry – sometimes I forget that other English-speaking countries didn’t have Python as a formative influence.

          • infiniteimprobabilit
            Posted June 4, 2014 at 4:41 am | Permalink

            I’m sure you noticed, but that’s the link I posted just above.

            • gravelinspector-Aidan
              Posted June 4, 2014 at 9:08 am | Permalink

              Actually, since the bandwidth assigned to Youtube is capped at 10kbps, shared between around a hundred people, I don’t make any serious attempt at YouTubing when I’m at work. If I’m lucky, I’ll get 2 or 3 frames through every couple of minutes. It’s not worth the effort.

              • infiniteimprobabilit
                Posted June 5, 2014 at 1:07 am | Permalink

                Ah, OK. Try that link at home, it’s a good-quality video.

                (Quite coincidentally, the email notifying of your post locked up my laptop. Does it every time I try to read it. This is weird because my mailreader program is running on my desktop server downstairs and I’m just using my laptop ssh’d into the server as a handy terminal. Every email relating to this topic does the same if I try to read them – but only this topic. Bizarre!)

              • gravelinspector-Aidan
                Posted June 6, 2014 at 9:16 am | Permalink

                Every email on this topic, or every one from WordPress?
                Does sound odd.

  3. Alex Shuffell
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:22 pm | Permalink

    I think Alex is a good name.

    • Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:26 pm | Permalink

      I agree!

    • Alex
      Posted June 2, 2014 at 5:21 am | Permalink

      Why not!

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted June 2, 2014 at 8:26 am | Permalink

      Oh great – he’ll be breaking stallions by 16, and conquering the world’s biggest empire before he’s out of his 30s. Do you know what you’ve started?
      I, for one, welcome our new sqrl-ine overlord!

  4. Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:24 pm | Permalink

    How about Darwin?

  5. Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

    The Ground of all Being!

  6. alexandra
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:27 pm | Permalink

    Hutchins (RM)

    or

    Mortimer (A)

  7. Diane G.
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:28 pm | Permalink

    Dayjar.

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:38 pm | Permalink

      Ha ha!

    • Janet
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:39 pm | Permalink

      That is very funny!!

  8. Diana MacPherson
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:37 pm | Permalink

    Rocky, after the squirrel from Rocky & Bullwinkle.

  9. Michael
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:44 pm | Permalink

    1) Sir Quigley. (Miss, Ms., Mrs. or Madam)

    2) Rocky.

    3) Rubella Rodere.

    • Michael
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:46 pm | Permalink

      Oops. Strike the Miss, etc.

  10. Jan Steinbrecher
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:45 pm | Permalink

    I suggest “Banner,” the name of the young, male squirrel who was raised by a cat in a book entitled “Bannertail: The Story of Gray Squirrel” by Ernest Thompson Seten. Amazon has a good summary of the story.

  11. Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:47 pm | Permalink

    You could name him Alfred after Wallace or, if you prefer, Charlie after Darwin.

  12. SA Gould
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:49 pm | Permalink

    Jerrl (Jerry+squirrel)

  13. Hempenstein
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:49 pm | Permalink

    Corey. Lots of Swedes emigrated to Chicago, and Swedish for squirrel is ekorre. Hence Corey. Or Korey.

    • Torbjörn Larsson, OM
      Posted June 2, 2014 at 12:03 am | Permalink

      Thanks. I was just trying for a translation!

      Your suggestion gets my vote, naturally.

  14. DryEraser
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:51 pm | Permalink

    Testiclees. (Because I’m feeble minded.)

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:59 pm | Permalink

      Ha ha! Because I have the sense of humour of a 12 year old boy.

    • Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:09 pm | Permalink

      I was hunting for testicle-themed (or virility, or sack-like… anything) in a database of Indian baby names… because I’m just that kind-of guy… I haven’t come across anything promising yet.

      But I did see an entry for the name “Anadi”. The database said it meant “eternal anal fire”.

      I think the authors got it wrong… (apologies to any Anadis out there who may be reading this). I think the “Anal” is also a name, accented on the second syllable, which does mean “fire”. So the name Anadi was really supposed to be “Eternal Anal”… eternal fire, not everlasting hemorrhoid.

      But I do approve of “Testicles” (pronounced clees on the end as you suggest). It is a mainstay joke with my Greek colleague in Athens, as we work on a projct involving boatloads of names.

      This popped into my head just now: “Mr. Balljangles”. Cause I’m that kind of guy.

      • Diana MacPherson
        Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:19 pm | Permalink

        I too tried to come up with ballsy names but when nothing immediately struck, I gave up. I think this is psychological growth for me. Heh, growth just made me remember dirty Pompeii gravity about gladiators. Ok maybe I’m not that mature yet.

        • infiniteimprobabilit
          Posted June 2, 2014 at 1:33 am | Permalink

          Pompeii graffiti? Did autocorrect get ya that time?

          OTOH ‘Mr Balljangles’ does suggest the influence of gravity…

          • Diana MacPherson
            Posted June 2, 2014 at 9:41 am | Permalink

            Yeah, I was using my iPad all day yesterday & it has its own ideas of words.

      • mrclaw69
        Posted June 2, 2014 at 2:30 am | Permalink

        Buster Gonad (a character from the UK adult comic Viz – for all you chaps outside the UK)

  15. NewEnglandBob
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:52 pm | Permalink

    legerdemain – a display of skill or adroitness

  16. Diana MacPherson
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 2:59 pm | Permalink

    Ike for Eichhörnchen.

  17. Craig Gallagher
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:02 pm | Permalink

    I vote for Tufty – after the 1970’s leading road safety sqrl!!

    Just google it..!

    • Dominic
      Posted June 2, 2014 at 2:26 am | Permalink

      60s even…!

  18. Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:03 pm | Permalink

    Earl the squirrel

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:18 pm | Permalink

      Ha ha or that could be Merle.

      • Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:23 pm | Permalink

        If the squirrel is…say 25 weeks old, or was conceived about that time…then shouldn’t it be Burl the squirrel?

        b&

        • Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:11 pm | Permalink

          Beat me to it! Did I put Burl Ives in your head in that last thread re: the Principal’s pal?

          • Diana MacPherson
            Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:20 pm | Permalink

            Damn it, I just got that song outta my head!

          • Posted June 1, 2014 at 8:41 pm | Permalink

            If you did, you managed to do it without making it register consciously….

            b&

  19. Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:09 pm | Permalink

    Mr. McNuts,
    Sir Bushytail-Longbottom,
    Colonel Nutty Pants,
    Lord Nibbles Me Nuts… I could go on all day.

    • Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:12 pm | Permalink

      A kindred spirit. (wiping single tear from eye)

    • ladyatheist
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 8:08 pm | Permalink

      *snickers*

  20. teacupoftheapocalypse
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:12 pm | Permalink

    He’s made from nuts and seeds, so ‘Filbert’.

    Two names for the price of one!

  21. Susan
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:21 pm | Permalink

    I kind of like Roger Miller, since he’s “King of the Road(ent)”

  22. Lianne Byram
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

    Jerrison

    • SA Gould
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 5:36 pm | Permalink

      I like that. A respectable enough name for him to apply for credit cards. Or college.

      • Stephen Barnard
        Posted June 1, 2014 at 6:33 pm | Permalink

        Better for that purpose than “Stash”, my entry.

  23. Jiten
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:50 pm | Permalink

    Nutso.

  24. Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:53 pm | Permalink

    Honor the classics: Call him “Rocket J Squirrel”. The omission of a period after the “J” is deliberate, because like Harry S Truman, Rocky’s middle initial doesn’t stand for anything.

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:23 pm | Permalink

      The creator of the Simpsons and Futurama plays an homage to Rocky by giving his characters a J initial as their middle name: Homer J Simpson, Phillip J Fry. :)

  25. Woof
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:55 pm | Permalink

    “Chaos” or “Mayhem”.

  26. Posted June 1, 2014 at 3:58 pm | Permalink

    Assuming it’s an Eastern Grey Squirrel, here is one way to determine the name.

    Binomial name: Sciurus carolinensis

    The specific epithet, carolinensis, refers to the Carolinas, where the species was first recorded and where the animal is still extremely common.

    Hence, he should be named Carl or Carol (both possible male forms of Caroline). It is somewhat silly to name a squirrel “Carl” — good, I dare say “iconic” for a squirrel.

    Also, when someone replies: “His name is Carl!? What where you thinking!?” You can then flaunt the taxonomical reason, instead of “some reader suggested it” :D

    • Posted June 1, 2014 at 8:19 pm | Permalink

      Sagan then?

    • gravelinspector-Aidan
      Posted June 2, 2014 at 8:35 am | Permalink

      The specific epithet, carolinensis, refers to the Carolinas

      And the Carolinas were named for Carolus Linnæus. Always worth remembering.
      So for the full binomial, perhaps Carolus Coynensis?

      • Diane G.
        Posted June 2, 2014 at 3:17 pm | Permalink

        On October 30, 1629, King Charles I granted a patent to Sir Robert Heath for the lands south of 36 degrees and north of 31 degrees, “under the name, in honor of that king, of Carolina.”[7] Carolus is Latin for ‘Charles’.

        But I’m sure you were kidding anyway.

        • gravelinspector-Aidan
          Posted June 4, 2014 at 4:36 am | Permalink

          WordPress should institustusetue bloody word! “support” a “sarcasm” tag, which displays the text in barber-poling colours, plays an audible trumpet and does something obscene in Lynx and screen readers.

          • Posted June 4, 2014 at 9:26 am | Permalink

            Trumpets aren’t typically sarcastic. Bellicose, yes, but not generally sarcastic.

            You want sarcastic? Try a bassoon….

            b&

  27. Jenny
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    My 90 year old mother is feeding a squirrel at a window who entertains her cats – she calls him Squirrel Eddie. And if she says Squirrel Eddie’s here (in case they actually miss the sounds), the cats are there ASAP. There have probably been many Squirrel Eddie’s but her cats know the name so for years – it’s Squirrel Eddie!

    • Stephen Barnard
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 6:34 pm | Permalink

      +1

  28. Stephen Barnard
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:08 pm | Permalink

    Stash

    • Posted June 2, 2014 at 6:41 am | Permalink

      I have a friend named “Stash” (that’s his nickname, so I am a bit loath to do that).

  29. Jeffrey Hatley
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:13 pm | Permalink

    Charlie, and Chuck for short.

  30. vbreg
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:14 pm | Permalink

    How about Jerry Junior??

    Vivian Bregman

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:27 pm | Permalink

      Or Jerry Eichcoynechen. :D

      • michaelfugate
        Posted June 1, 2014 at 8:08 pm | Permalink

        Jerry A Corn?

  31. Charles Sullivan
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    insouciant.

    In honor of your contributions to expanding my, and no doubt others’, vocabulary.

    Plus, the squirrel does seem rather insouciant.

  32. Another Tom
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:19 pm | Permalink

    Al, like in the Squirrel Nut Zippers song: Pallin’ with Al.

  33. Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:30 pm | Permalink

    He looks like a Colin.

  34. Ken Pidcock
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:44 pm | Permalink

    I’d call him Mike, for my colleague and friend Michael Steele, who knows as much about Sciurus carolinensis behavior as anyone.

  35. jwthomas
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:55 pm | Permalink

    Hitch. A short, easily remembered name and a memorial to one who should not be forgotten. The original Hitch would have loved having a squirrel named after him.

  36. varney33
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 4:59 pm | Permalink

    Have you named his mom? (If not, why not??)
    If you have, this one cld be “[momname]’s Son” or “[monname]’s Boy”.
    Anc Congratulations!

    • Posted June 1, 2014 at 9:15 pm | Permalink

      Imam. (for the mom) Umar (the son)

      Short for: Umar bin Amr Salami

      OK, I took a little license with the last name.

  37. docbill1351
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 5:01 pm | Permalink

    Seedy.

  38. docbill1351
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 5:03 pm | Permalink

    Ach, what was I thinking??

    Of course, the squirrel must be named

    Deepak!

    Just another nutty squirrel!

  39. Posted June 1, 2014 at 5:22 pm | Permalink

    Heath. After Heath Ledger and because your offspring is a virtual denizen of your window ledge. Or maybe Heathcliff. (having one of those days today….)

  40. cremnomaniac
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 5:51 pm | Permalink

    The Great Rupert, or just Rupert.

    “The Great Rupert, is a 1950 comedy family film, produced by George Pal, directed by Irving Pichel and starring Jimmy Durante, Tom Drake and Terry Moore.”
    “The story revolves around a little animated squirrel who, with lots of charm, accidentally helps two economically distressed families overcome their obstacles.”

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Rupert

  41. Gerard
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 6:08 pm | Permalink

    Being of all ground. ;’> Be or BG for short.

  42. Kevin
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 6:59 pm | Permalink

    Quill. Obscrube, but fitting name. If not, Alex(ander) — ruminate, ancient, and powerful.

  43. John J. Fitzgerald
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:05 pm | Permalink

    Call him, “Charles.” In honor of Charles Darwin!

    Onward!

    John

  44. Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:13 pm | Permalink

    Steve.

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:21 pm | Permalink

      I thought Stephen too. Or Kevin.

      • Stephen Barnard
        Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:39 pm | Permalink

        Kevin? Really? I object to that in the strongest possible terms.

      • Kevin
        Posted June 2, 2014 at 8:32 am | Permalink

        Definitely not Kevin.

    • John Scanlon, FCD
      Posted June 2, 2014 at 3:00 am | Permalink

      If Steve, you should get him photographed with Professor Steve Steve.

  45. Peggy Carlan
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:28 pm | Permalink

    Jerry,

    I’m trying to find the post you did on the Heron that ate the black bunny. Where can I find it?

    Thanks, Peggy Carlan

  46. Posted June 1, 2014 at 7:32 pm | Permalink

    I givemy animal companions simple names. “Sam” squirrel seems appropriate. It avoids all the cutesy names. He is strong and independent.

  47. kansaskitty
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 8:14 pm | Permalink

    I like Elmer. No reason except that he looks like an Elmer to me!

  48. ladyatheist
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 8:14 pm | Permalink

    My first thought was “Skippy” which is also a peanut butter brand, but I just like the name.

    I think Earl [Grey] the [Grey] Squirrel would be cute.

    The Polish word for “ledge” is półka. Polka the squirrel? *shrug* The Polish word for rodent is gryzoń which could be adapted as “Grayson” and he is indeed, a gray son

    • Posted June 1, 2014 at 8:25 pm | Permalink

      How about JR Grayson? (Jerry’s Rodential…)

      • SA Gould
        Posted June 1, 2014 at 9:12 pm | Permalink

        Like this too. Has gravitas.

  49. Steve
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    Um… if it was me, I might just go with something like “Sqrl,” which seems appropriate to a professional Coyne-sqrl relationship. (Besides, it’s just referential, right? Presumably he’ll use his own name in parallel if he has one.)

  50. Posted June 1, 2014 at 9:18 pm | Permalink

    Mohammed.

  51. Ande
    Posted June 1, 2014 at 9:54 pm | Permalink

    How about Chew-Chew Charlie?

    Or Rock-a-Doodle-Doo?

    Or maybe Ratatosk / Ratatoskr, the squirrel who scampers up and down the tree Yggdrasil in order to spread gossip?

    Miko / Meeko / Mikew (lots of spelling variants) who, according to Abenaki and other folklore, was once a huge predator like a bear or wolf. He had to be shrunken down to his current size so that he would no longer be such a threat to humans.

    Anikwa – the Illini tribe’s word for squirrel. Maybe he’s related to Anikwa Skywalker. Don’t let him go over to the Dark Side. He might become Darth Invader of Noms.

    I like the Earl Grey Squirrel suggestion, too!

    Ande

    • Torbjörn Larsson, OM
      Posted June 2, 2014 at 12:06 am | Permalink

      Ratatosk is good! I think I need to reread the myths. How could I forget The Gossipy One!?

  52. Adrian Johnson
    Posted June 2, 2014 at 12:12 am | Permalink

    Tyrol.

  53. Posted June 2, 2014 at 1:37 am | Permalink

    Nigel. Stig. Prentis. Clive. Talfryn. Cedric. Dermot. Cyril. Giles. Biggles…

  54. David Duncan
    Posted June 2, 2014 at 2:12 am | Permalink

    MUNCHer, after what he’s obviously good at and one of my favourite painters.

  55. mrclaw69
    Posted June 2, 2014 at 2:27 am | Permalink

    How about Partario?

    …or Imhotep?

    …or Lord Scotland?

  56. Lurker111
    Posted June 2, 2014 at 4:34 am | Permalink

    Your comment on feeding the mom reminds me of what I call the (in-shell) peanuts that we buy for our critters: squirrel larvae.

  57. Posted June 2, 2014 at 4:58 am | Permalink

    I think he looks like a little Jupiter…

  58. Alex
    Posted June 2, 2014 at 5:31 am | Permalink

    George Bushy?


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