From Ed Brody’s Twi**er feed, via Matthew Cobb, we have a newspaper television listing that Brody labels “spoiler alert”:
What about Revelation??
Never mind Revelation; what about the resurrection and ascension?!
And, before all that, there’s the Great Guts Groping….
Twelve tongues a-talking
Eleven apostles freaking
Ten linens lying
Nine breads a-breaking
Eight guts a-groping
Seven fuckers fishing
Six elders scheming
FIVE GUTS IN THE FIELD…
Two tons of converts
and an ergot so-oaked scribe in Sporadeeeees!
You said, “guts,” twice. Charming!
Two references to guts…
1) the well-known fondling episode, and
2) and Acts 1:18, where Judas, instead of hanging himself, uses his filthy lucre to purchase a field, goes prancing around in it and suddenly tumbles forward ass over teakettle, bursting his midsection and spilling his bowels all over the place.
They liked guts back in them good ol’ days, apparently.
There was, however, no logical reason for me to to be redundant with the word “and” above.
Or so Vince Gilligan would have us believe.
And isn’t there going to be a sequel? The Return of Jesus, Part 1?
Al Goldstein was working on it when he, unfortunately, passed away a few days ago. It had the working title: “The Sloppy Second Coming of Christ”.
Years ago after reading it, I thought Revelation would make a great cheesy Hollywood blockbuster, and wrote down this wishing list for the cast:
Jack Nicholson as God
John Malkovich as Satan
Bruce Willis as archangel Gabriel (who doesn’t appear in Revelation, I know, but what the heck)
With guest appearances by Clint Eastwood as instructor of the apocalyptic riders, and Louise Fletcher as the snake in paradise.
Gary Oldman as Judas.
…with frequent cutaways to Bruce Dern, eyes wide and pupils dilated, scribbling on some parchment and munching on some moldy bread.
Directed by Mel Gibson.
They won’t admit it but it is clear, the christians are very happy that christ is dead.
It probably stops him troubling their bigotry and hatred with awkward things like morals and poverty.
And the epistles and letters to boot.
All that “women should be silent in church” stuff comes from post-Jesus writings. (If you accept that Jesus was an actual person, which I think is about on par with accepting that Bigfoot exists and is living in my back yard.)
That’s not Bigfoot living out back, it’s your aptly-named Uncle Harry.
Easy misidentification to make, I know.
Or Aron Ra.
“What about Revelation??” It’s just an afterword that no one will ever take seriously.
Revelation? “Guy on acid…”
… shoulld have had some weed too.
A friend of mine who went into working for the Customs relates that they would get some of the “good stuff” diverted from the evidence locker. He took a liking to PCP (“Angel Dust”, a potent hallucinogen) sprinkled on top grade “skunk” cannabis leaf. He described it as combining the best of both worlds – “you’d be, like, tripping and dreaming that you were being eaten by ants – that’s the Angel Dust. But the weed wold mellow you out about this ; ants have gotta live after all, so let them eat.”
Notify me of follow-up comments via email.
Notify me of new posts via email.
Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.
Join 25,709 other followers
Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.