Proof that humans will do anything, however stupid

Philippa (“Pippa”) Middleton, the sister of the Duchess of Cambridge and famous largely for her form-fitting bridesmaid’s dress at the royal wedding, is the subject of a unique artwork.

According to the Daily Mail (of course):

It took 15,000 crumpets and 24 hours of tireless labour from more than a dozen helpers.

But this ingenious tribute to arguably Britain’s most famous face and bottom using one of the UK’s favourite snacks is ready for public consumption.

Cheeky artist Laura Hadland has proved that royal bridesmaid Pippa Middleton really is a tasty bit of crumpet, using more than 100 jars of spreads, including jam and Marmite, to create the shading on the 13 metre by 20 metre giant mosaic.


And here’s what you can do with 15,000 crumpets (which, by the way, weighed more than a ton):

Oh, and there’s a prime example of religious stupidity here.

27 Comments

  1. Bernard J. Ortcutt
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 11:01 am | Permalink

    Does this make her the crumpet man’s crumpet?

    • Michael Fisher
      Posted July 16, 2011 at 11:25 am | Permalink

      She should have used buns IMO

      • Posted July 16, 2011 at 3:23 pm | Permalink

        “Crumpet” is ruder than buns in British English.

        • Michael Fisher
          Posted July 16, 2011 at 3:55 pm | Permalink

          I’m a Brit

          Buns for “Pippa’s ‘buns’ :)

  2. Michael Fisher
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 11:22 am | Permalink

    The thoughtless waste upsets me.

    That said, THIS is a BBC News video report from last year where Laura…

    “created the world’s largest toast mosaic in the image of her mother-in-law to celebrate her 50th birthday. Sandra Whitfield, from Warrington, said she cried – with joy – when she saw the huge picture card…”

    The video is worth a look because it opens with a few fine examples of that timeless, multicultural staple ~ the mother-in-law joke. I imagine the Dead Sea Scrolls & the walls of Pompeii have ‘em too.

    • Dominic
      Posted July 16, 2011 at 1:30 pm | Permalink

      Yes you are right- it surely would be very amusing to those starving in Somaliland…

  3. Grania
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 11:28 am | Permalink

    Humanity at its finest…

  4. Sili
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 11:30 am | Permalink

    Remarkably low resolution. Pretty sure I’ve seen far nicer portraits in toast.

    • Posted July 16, 2011 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

      Low resolution (about 150×300 for the portrait – which is good from the waste point of view) and low colour-depth (about 3 bits – 8 shades). A lot of work for an unimpressive picture.

      • Claimthehighground
        Posted July 17, 2011 at 1:16 pm | Permalink

        Should have used the M&Ms. Way more resolution.

  5. Badger3k
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    I like the comment on the priest – it gives “get thee behind me” a brand new meaning. Priest may be gay – kicked out immediately. Priest rapes children – protected and moved around. I think they have their priorities a bit skewed – perhaps if they focused on that bit o’crumpet they might realign them?

    • Christian
      Posted July 16, 2011 at 5:40 pm | Permalink

      Well, of course they have their priorities straight (although in a sick kind of way): being gay is not illegal but molesting children certainly is. So by covering the latter they protect themselves whereas for the former they couldn’t care less.

  6. Patrick
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 11:51 am | Permalink

    Read the comments on that Madrid Priest article, there’s a chair to examine the Pope’s balls called a sedia stercoraria, apparently. I will have to ask a genital historian.

  7. Posted July 16, 2011 at 12:01 pm | Permalink

    Do you have a “silly season” for news in the USA like we do here in the UK? This is classic “silly season”.

    • Grania
      Posted July 16, 2011 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

      The Spanish bit of news on offer is even dafter though. Monty Python in its silliest mode couldn’t have done better.

    • Reginald Selkirk
      Posted July 16, 2011 at 12:40 pm | Permalink

      Here in the Capitalist US, we have greatly improved efficiency by combining the “silly” news with front page headlines. Try a news search on “Michele Bachmann” for example.

    • Diane G.
      Posted July 17, 2011 at 11:24 pm | Permalink

      When do we ever have anything else?

  8. Reginald Selkirk
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    All that work – and it doesn’t even do justice to her derriere. Compare to actual photographs: link

  9. Sidd
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 1:43 pm | Permalink

    The only evolutionary reason for such an absurdly wasteful use of time and resources would be to engage in some kind of mating ritual or status-boosting activity for which sexual selection plays a role. Are we suddenly lusting after those responsible for this edible portrait? I should think not. Ergo, Pippa Crumpet disproves evolution.

  10. saintstephen
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 2:44 pm | Permalink

    Why are we laughing about this? It’s called SCIENCE, people.

    I fully expect at least a baker’s dozen of papers on the Five-Second Rule to be soon emerging from peer-reviewed journalistic ovens.

  11. Posted July 16, 2011 at 6:04 pm | Permalink

    This project is rather ridiculous. I don’t know how she feels about it, but I’d feel rather weird if I went to my sister’s wedding and then everyone was obsessing over me because of my dress.

    Re: The Spanish priest accused of being gay:

    So, this is how quickly the church gets upset if a priest is accused of having sex with an adult, compared with how the church acts when a priest is accused of sexually abusing a child?

    • Diane G.
      Posted July 17, 2011 at 11:27 pm | Permalink

      I don’t know how she feels about it, but I’d feel rather weird if I went to my sister’s wedding and then everyone was obsessing over me because of my dress.

      Having chosen such a dress, she’d no doubt be a lot more upset if no one noticed.

  12. Posted July 16, 2011 at 7:23 pm | Permalink

    pshaw!…I’m holding out for the Earl of Wessex mosaic made of Derbyshire oatcakes. Now that would be something worthwhile.

  13. Doug
    Posted July 17, 2011 at 3:21 am | Permalink

    So if they did a portrait of the grrom using a species of fish, would it be called a codpiece?

  14. Posted July 17, 2011 at 7:44 am | Permalink

    I’m not certain I agree with you that Laura Hadland’s project is “stupid”; but, I do think she & her assistants may have too much time on their hands. Many would view Hadland’s work as post-modern commentary on popular culture. Indeed, far from “stupid”, her construct might generate one or a few sublime academic theses by students in, say, a Department of -PolyGender Studies, -Multicultural Deconstruction, -PostMarxist Philosophy, -Lacanian Oppositional Art, -Foucaultian Misogyny, and the like. I look forward to reading reviews of the obligatory, follow-up memoirs in NYRB.
    Twitter: http://twitter.com/cbjones1943

  15. Strider
    Posted July 17, 2011 at 12:54 pm | Permalink

    I object to the Daily Mail’s implication that marmite is tasty.

  16. occamseraser
    Posted July 18, 2011 at 6:01 am | Permalink

    gotta love the new riposte suggested in the comments on the shirtless priest:
    “measure my anus” rather than “kiss my ass”!!


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